It's been 37 days since the United States of America elected That Fucking Guy President once again. This is not a post seeking to understand the logic of the whole thing, or parsing exit polls, or demanding the scalp of various Democratic electoral consultants (though whoever decided to stop letting Timmy Walz call 'em weird should be covered in honey and set atop an anthill). Nope, this is a post that realizes there's not much to be gained by complainin', and offers one man's keys to coping for the next four years.
It ain't much, but it's something. Taking some agency helps. So here are three categories of actions I hope to dig into and a few things I've already embarked upon.
Mental
I'm hopelessly, terminally online. I seek news, analysis, context almost to a fault. In general, I think being an informed citizen is a good thing. At present, though, too many things I read/see/hear make me wanna break things. So I'm working on refining my information diet with an eye towards balance and sanity.
I subscribed to ProPublica, a nonprofit journalistic enterprise focused on stories in the public interest. I find it journalistically sound and editorially ambitious, and generally untethered from mainstream American news' bowl-circling addiction to both-sidesism and clicks.
I've also been watching a shitload of documentaries if I'm not watching sports or Food Network stylings. Appreciate the inputs from Team Gheorghie.
Physical
Your boy has upped his yoga game even more since the election, in addition to making more of an effort to get some weight and cardio work in. It certainly helps.
Spiritual
Historically, I've talked a lot of shit without walking very much of it in terms of things political activist, or even community engagement. I greatly admire the works Marls and Mrs. Marls do in the community, and I think there's some karmic good to be found in engaging.
I donated to Side by Side, which is a Richmond-based nonprofit "[d]edicated to creating supportive communities where Virginia’s LGBTQ+ youth can define themselves, belong, and flourish". My kid is a counselor at the organization, which supports a marginalized community that's gonna need all the help it can get over the next few years.
I'm also making plans to attend the People's March on Washington just prior the next Presidential Inauguration. It's symbolic, for sure, but as I see more and more Democratic leaders bend the knee and comply in advance (Fucking Fetterman just called for Trump's 34 fraud convictions to be pardoned!) I think the least I can do is show up and be counted. My kids and I attended the March for Our Lives in 2016, and I was moved by the energy of the people. I want to be viscerally reminded of that power.
As I said, it ain't much. But it's better than giving in and giving up. Here's hoping Day Four is a bit more dipshitterish.
Dave Parker was one of my favorite players as a kid. He was part of a rollicking band of dudes, as cool as the other side of the pillow. Check out Exhibit A:
He had one of the greatest nicknames of his era or any other. The Cobra, coiled and deadly. Hit more than 20 homers in 1975 and 1990. Won an MVP in 1978, a pair of Gold Gloves, three Silver Sluggers, and played in seven All-Star Games. Including 1977, when he did this, which is one of my core baseball memories:
I'm not sure his lifetime .821 OPS and 339 homers are entirely hall-worthy, but I'm not mad at the Veterans' Committee for voting Parker into the Baseball Hall of Fame yesterday. It'll improve the vibes.
I planned to tell a few stories stemming from my experiences dealing with my aging mother and her recent second stroke, but she had an even more recent third stroke today so I spend a lot of time in the ER. My apologies for delaying Gheorghemas but I had my hands full.
I've been fortunate to have some pretty hip hip ladies in my life. Unfortunately, they didn't take great care of their cardiovascular health. Much like the woman from one of those songs, they never smoked or drank but they also never exercised and rarely ate anything that didn't come from a can. As a result they all had strokes.
That's me in the white onesie.
Two of them lived well into their nineties so it's not like they didn't recover, but they were not cognitively the same afterwards. It's sad and hard to deal with, especially when they're also suddenly crabby when they used to be fun. My mom had a stroke in 2018 and another one in August this year. Interacting with her is like reading the back half of Flowers for Algernon only grumpier. So listen to OBX Dave and take care of yourself.
I had zmom evaluated by two different specialists after her second stroke, and they both said she could return home so long as she has an aide for most of the day. She was miserable in her assisted living respite stay, so I got her an aide and home she went. She became highly resistant to having an aide though, and went so far as to call the agency and cancel 2-3 days a week. Of course, they called me and I uncanceled the aide, and then I told zmom the aide was coming despite her efforts. zmom is also very forgetful now, and she forgot about this so she was out buying wrapping paper at Walgreen's when the aide arrived and no one answered the door or the phone so the agency called me. This was the second time this happened in a five day span, and I was pretty sure zmom was ok but I also feared she was injured or dead, so I bombed over to her apartment just as she rolled up with the wrapping paper. I lost it and she's still pissed that I yelled at her, so much so that she brought it up to the ER doctor this evening. I noted that it was very fortunate that she had an aide today so she wound up at the ER instead of the funeral parlor. zmom does not like I-told-you-sos, and she replied "Well the aide was practically useless! I had to tell her to call for help!" Of course, when she started feeling weird she went into her room and lied down without saying anything so the aide thought she went for a nap, she can't read minds. Anyway, I was in the process of moving her to assisted living and this just moves her move-in date up a week or so.
A perhaps more relatable story involves the woman who runs the agency who provides the aides. zmom and I had the following exchange about her:
zmom: I called the woman who sends the aides. Broke. What type of name is that?
zman: What?
zmom: Broke. The woman who sends the aides.
zman: You mean Brooke?
zmom: No, her name is Broke. I wrote it down. [Holds up a piece of paper with a phone number and "BROKE" scrawled on it.]
zman: Mom, the woman's name is Brooke.
zmom: I'm telling you it's BROKE! I WROTE IT DOWN!! [Waves piece of paper at me.]
zman: Did you ever consider that maybe you wrote it down wrong?
zmom: Huh.
I love you Mom. I'm going to get you squared away for Gheorghemas.
Botafogo de Futebol e Regatas, known simply as Botafogo, is one of Brazilian soccer's legendary clubs. Founded in 1894, the club has had more players called up to the world's most famous national team than any other. In 2000, Fogo finished 12th in FIFA Magazine's reader vote for Club of the Century.
Sports are many things, but in this particular instance, they're the bond that unites generations of Botafogo fans who'd never seen their team succeed at this level. Andiamo, indeed.
Over the holiday, The Teej responded to a Bluesky meme thread with the first* Nathan Knight namedrop in the recorded history of that platform. Which made me smile, and then sent me down a Tribe hoops in the pros rabbit hole and led to this update on our boys' professional exploits.
* As if you're going to check to see if that's accurate. Just go with it, man.
This seems to be a foul
After three seasons in the NBA, the Knightwolf himself is averaging 14.8 points, 10.1 boards, and 1.2 assists for the Zhejiang Lions of the Chinese Basketball Association. The Lions are 10-2, good for third place in the CBA's North Division.
Terry Tarpey's been a fixture in the French First Division since graduating from W&M. Now in his ninth season in France, Tarpey's become a role player for AS Monaco, averaging 2.8 points, 3.6 rebounds, and 0.8 steals in 17.5 minutes. He's also represented France in senior international competitions 33 times.
By the looks of things, Omar Prewitt's international hoops career has come to an end after eight seasons in Lithuania, Czechoslovakia, Poland, Germany, and Turkiye. He was second-team all-league in Poland in 2019 after averaging 18.3 points (3rd in the PLK), 6.1 rebounds, 2.5 assists, and 1.2 steals in 30 PLK games, and won a Czech league title with Nymburk.
Our guy Marcus Thornton is still at it, and still getting buckets. He's in his 10th professional season across Australia, the G-League, France, Italy, Turkiye, Greece, and now Portugal, where he's playing for SL Benfica. Marcus averages 11.4 points and 2.8 assists for the Portuguese power.
Despite averaging 13.3 points and 6.6 assists per game last season for VfL Bochum in Germany's top division, David Cohn appears to be without a team at the moment. Perhaps he'll follow the path of the next few Wrens.
Hofstra nemesis Daniel Dixon retired in 2022 to become an assistant coach with the Oklahoma City Blue. The Tribe to the Pros coaching pipeline is starting to get some legs, if you're into mixed metaphors.
Of benchside note, Jim Moran is the associate head coach of the Sacramento Kings, Sean Sheldon just moved to the front of the bench for the Utah Jazz, and Quinn McDowell is an assistant at Longwood.
These are the golden years, friends. The Tribe abides.
It is received wisdom in these parts that we will all one day live in the same house/compound and make merry. We continue to be on the lookout for the appropriate venue (and the necessary funds). Details.
We've got a new contender this morning, and it's both spacious and imbued with a great deal of Gheorghe.
All footy, all the time, as we celebrate some cool achievements for teams and players, and welcome a new side to our rooting roster.
The Orlando Pride defeated the Washington Spirit, 1-0, on Saturday to win the NWSL championship. No upset there - the Pride were the best team in the league all year long, undefeated until late in the season, and top seed in the playoffs. It was a bit of a departure from historical form for the Pride, however. The team had never won a playoff game in its seven seasons in the league, having only made the playoffs in one of those years.
Orlando's win was made all the sweeter because it provided a long-overdue first NWSL title for their captain, Marta. The 38 year-old Brazilian is arguably the greatest non-American woman ever to play the game, and almost certainly the most dynamic. She's scored 299 goals in 439 professional matches across seven leagues and added another 119 in 204 matches with the Brazilian national team.
And let anyone think she's a ceremonial player at this point in her career, check out what she did to the Kansas City Current in the NWSL semifinal:
While Marta will go down as one of the greatest attacking players in women's soccer history, another legend of the game is stepping away, at least partially. USWNT anchor Alyssa Naeher announced earlier this week that she's retiring from international play. In her starts for her country, Naeher's teams won 88, drew 14, and lost only six. As with Marta, she's going out on top, having backstopped the US women to a gold medal in this year's Olympics, and saved three penalties in this year's W Gold Cup semifinal against Canada (and buried a penalty herself).
Naeher is absolutely beloved teammate, known as "Uncle" for her competence and reliable counsel. Alongside Brianna Scurry and Hope Solo, she'll go down as one of the three greatest American keepers of all time.
And finally, as appreciators of the game's haberdashery, we'd be remiss in not shouting out the newest USL League One (American soccer's third division) franchise, Portland Hearts of Pine. Maine's first professional soccer club will begin play next season. They recently debuted their home kit design, which is among the Mainest things to ever Maine.
Let's get this holiday week rolling with smiles on our faces, shall we.
We told you the story of Joel Dahmen's rollercoster weekend in the comments, but in case you missed it, our favorite golfer entered this week's RSM Classic in Saint Simons Island, GA in 124th in the season-long PGA TOUR standings. The top 125 golfers on the list retain their full playing privileges for the following season. The cruel reality of finishing on the wrong side of that line means a year of uncertainty, lower-level tours, and scrambling to get back to the bigs.
On Friday, Dahmen needed a five-foot par putt on 18 to make the cut. He drained it. Saturday, he had a solid round going, until he took a double-bogey 7 on the par-5 16th. The resulting round of 70 left him on the outside looking in, sitting 128th on the season scoreboard entering the final round.
And yesterday, a player who's become beloved for his honesty and everyman mien showed us what he's capable of. After three straight pars to start his round, Dahmen did this:
That eagle from 110 yards got him started, and he took his round to six-under with a birdie on the 11th hole of his round (he started on the back nine). From there, he made seven straight pars to close with a 64, making a clutch five-footer on his last hole. Had he missed it, he would've finished 126th.
This Friday is Black Friday! Whatever that means to you.
Bargains?
Crowds?
Leftovers?
Yardwork?
Blue movie marathon?
Sleep?
Probably television for many of us. For the college football enthusiasts in the G:TB crowd, we have this slate:
Noon: Oklahoma State at Colorado (ABC)
Noon: Navy at East Carolina (ESPN)
Noon: Minnesota at Wisconsin (CBS)
Noon: Oregon State at Boise State (Fox)
Noon: Ball State at Ohio (ESPNU/CBSSN)
Noon: Miami-Ohio at Bowling Green (ESPNU/CBSSN)
3:30: Mississippi State at Ole Miss (ABC)
3:30: Liberty at Sam Houston (CBSSN)
3:30: Utah State at Colorado State (FS1)
3:30: Texas State at South Alabama (ESPN+)
4:00: Stanford at San Jose State (CBS)
7:30: Georgia Tech at Georgia (ABC)
7:30: Iowa at Nebraska (NBC)
8:00: Utah at UCF (Fox)
Plus a couple of NBA games on ESPN (many more for NBA TV hounds).
And a ton of college hoops. No big showdowns, unless you count those founding fathers George Mason versus James Madison. True story: George Mason and James Madison met at the Constitutional Convention of 1787, where Madison drafted the Virginia Plan and Mason was an enthusiastic participant. Mason initially supported Madison's Plan, but later changed his mind and went with the opposition. These two men just don't like each other these days, and you should see what happens when they hoop it up.
♬When Black Friday comes...♬
Yes, the Steely Dan song. One with Jeff Porcaro playing drums on it. You know, Jeff Porcaro. Of the Porcaro brothers? In Toto?? His brother Steve also wrote the Michael Jackson tune "Human Nature," and both brothers played on the track. But you can learn all about that here.
Both Steely Dan and Toto have recurring roles in the gritty, unflinching, true-life rockumentary series Yacht Rock. That cinematic masterpiece sprang to life in 2005 and nothing was ever the same ever again ever.
For those readers saying to themselves, "Huh. I've never seen Yacht Rock," I have four words for you.
You. And. I. Aren't. Friends.
Five. Five words. Okay, well, there's a quick way to remedy it on Black Friday. Watching every single episode of Yacht Rock (there are 12) will require the following time to binge:
64 minutes, 34 seconds.
Bingeclock says it takes 6 hours, but maybe that's if you watch it in super slo-mo. That's egregious. The episodes are 5 minutes long! They're wrong. Perhaps trying to scare people away from it.
An hour, basically. There's no excuse not to watch it! Or watch it again, if it's been a while. Let's get you started:
But.. wait a minute... holy... what the... could it be??
Premiering on HBO on November 29... Black Friday...
Somebody call Hollywood Steve!
Yah mo' be there! Can Greg, Teej, Marls, and I have a watch party?
It takes fashion this hideous to awaken me from my blog slumber.
I ask Adidas, "WHAT ARE WE DOING HERE, PEOPLE?"
Also, anyone care to explain to me what this fucking ad copy means? I feel like I am doing Mad Libs after suffering a massive stroke:
"The first ever adidas Originals by Avavav collection is a whimsically recoded exploration of the Trefoil’s timeless DNA. Three Stripes icons get the Avavav treatment as the Superstar, the signature airliner bag, a selection of Track Jackets, and more all show up in unexpected ways."
Look at these "bring out the gimp"-ass sneakers!
With bonus "Ay, shit bro, u headed to Hoth? Do I have just the thing for u"
And when we ponder life's largest piles of dipshittery, what musical duo comes to mind most regularly? (If you thought "Random Idiots," you can go to hell. Even if you're on the mark.)
Yes! Ween!
We've talked a whole lot about Ween over the two decades here at Gheorghe. Why? Well, dummy, because that band is dedicated to the premise that life would be better if we all took ourselves a little less seriously. And by a little, I mean a metric shit-ton. Legendary clowns. They simply make me laugh more than any band I know.
Here's a little story you don't know so well, unless you're Dave. Off-brand for me, but I'm going to abbreviate the backstory.
2 dudes from New Hope, PA have a 4-track recorder in the late 80's.
They follow in the lo-fi no-band footsteps of 2 dudes from Brooklyn who might be giants, and they inspire two dudes in Williamsburg who are definitely not.
They end up releasing a 29-song album in 1990 on Twin/Tone records, a small label in the North Star State responsible for the early records from The Replacements and Soul Asylum. God Ween Satan is a glorious mess.
They release more albums, and actually start getting better. They get on MTV. They amass a cult following.
They release a country album in 1996 with reputable Nashville session musicians. It features a few filthy songs like "Piss Up a Rope" and "Mister Richard Smoker" that some of them Tennessee gents didn't much like. But it's a great record.
They release a prog-rock album in 1998 that's excellent.
They issue White Pepper in 2000. It's as mainstream as Ween will ever, ever get. They appear on Letterman to play "Exactly Where I'm At." Another single, "Even If You Don't," is super catchy and has a video. "Stay Forever" is really quite normal. Dave proclaims this album to be the best. The best album of all time. Ever. (He's the most hyperbolic person in the universe.)
Ween is mainstream and ready for middle America!!!
Well... heeeeeeere's the thing, though. Ignoring a historic discography that features songs called (sorry for the expurgated version, it's a family blog):
You F***ed Up (first song on first album)
Common B***
L.M.L.Y.P.
She F***s Me
Flies On My D***
Poop Ship Destroyer (a Ween original classic if there ever was one)
Hey Fat Boy (A*****e)
Spinal Meningitis (Got Me Down)
Baby B****
The HIV Song (this tune is just two words long)
Don't S*** Where You Eat
Waving My D*** in the Wind
...ignoring all of that, plus a bunch of songs that are hideously lewd but don't have the vulgarity in the title, setting all that aside and focusing on this new (2000) mainstream effort White Pepper... which probably is a racist title, now that I think about it in 2024 terms...
You still can't miss the steel drums, ragga Jimmy Buffett send-up "Bananas and Blow." (It's so good.) And you still can't escape the Steely Dan-ish nod "Pandy Fackler" with its lyrical wait, what?! (Read it here.)
Yes, the same Pizza Hut corporation whose franchise employed rob and me in 1990. (You remember the story. Never trust a big butt and smile.)
So... the story goes like this. In 2002, Pizza Hut, Inc. decided to leap into the stuffed crust phenomenon. (Never been a fan.) Can't blame them, it was an era of hiding cheese everywhere.
According to Dean Ween:
“Earlier in 2002 we were hired by the largest advertising firm in the country to write music for a Pizza Hut commercial. Pizza Hut had hired them to come up with a whole new image to promote their new Pizza, “The Insider” which had all of the cheese inside the crust. In keeping in line with their new cutting edge image, the agency hired Ween to do the music, and we delivered in a big way. Unfortunately, they didn’t like a single piece of the 6 tunes we submitted and they had us rewriting the song every day for a couple of weeks before they hired someone else. In my opinion, it is one of the best tunes we wrote all last year.”
The agency got fired. Ween got dumped. It never went anywhere.
Oh, but Ween leaked the first and best song they submitted to their fans. Please give it a listen. It's a silly little something, and it's clean.
Oh! But they also leaked the 6th and final song they submitted. Frustrated with the annoying back-and-forth corporate BS process and the repeated rejection of songs Ween thought were brilliant, they simply added a little tweak to the first song they'd done and sent that in. Welp, that was the last straw. Please give it a listen. It is very much NSFW and it makes me laugh every time.
Both are in here, back to back. Each is 30 seconds. Enjoy.
To the knowledge of the crack investigative team of interns at Gheorghe: The Blog, Ween has never been asked to do a commercial again. They have done some soundtrack work, including the song "The Rainbow" for Chef Aid on South Park. (Don't google it.)
Whoever greenlit Ween for a Pizza Hut commercial committed, what John Cleese once uttered in the Cheese Shop sketch, "an act of purest optimism." Worth a try, I suppose, but that was the closest Ween ever came to mass acceptance. In the 20 years since, Ween has taken as many extended hiatuses* as they have released studio albums. (Two of each.)
*Hiati? Is that right? Looks like Haiti. That cannot be right.
Anyway, when the boys saddle back up and hit the road again, I'm driving to NJ and going to see them with Dave. Until then, where'd the motherfucking cheese go?
Friends, gheorghies, and silly people, lend me your eyes;
I come to praise Michael Schur, not to envy him.
The dreck that men and women write makes headlines.
The good is oft relegated to the abyss.
Do not let it be so with Schur.
Wel'p, that’s enough Bastardized Bard for one post. Using less iambic pentameter (of the sloppiest variety), today I’m simply espousing the work of someone that most of you are familiar with in one form or another: writer, producer, director, actor, show creator, author, and blogger Michael Schur.
The dude has proven prolific.
Here’s how many folks know Michael Schur:
1.Fire Joe Morgan co-creator / blogger. Between 2005 and 2008, Michael Schur assumed the pen name of "Ken Tremendous" at Fire Joe Morgan, a short-lived but wildly popular blog with the tagline "Where Bad Sports Journalism Came To Die." Skewerings of shoddy, hackneyed, often cloying platitudes posing as thoughtful sportswriting emanated regularly from a pseudonymed trio of former Harvard Lampooners -- you know, sharp-witted nerds using their wits for inane comedy. (A sound methodology if there ever was one!)
This was midlife Misery Loves Company and early years Gheorghe: The Blog, so in addition to some mission overlap, there was some occasional direct hat-tipping to FJM at GTB. Those gents were consistently hilarious, and their fine work (evidenced here and here, just for a nostalgic chuckle) inspired some gheorghey knock-offs. Overtly or subtly.
Whitney Says: I only visited FJM here and there in its day, but it jumped out as a textbook (comic book) template for what rob, Teej, and I wanted to do, even as we were sort of doing it. Ken Tremendous said in the postmortem that FJM was created "to make each other laugh." That's the piece that resonates most directly with me. Why on earth would the lot of folks at Gheorghe: The Blog have posted and commented on 5,300+ pieces of thought-revoking dipshittery over 21 years here if not for that principal premise?
2.Mose (and a writer) on The Office. He played Dwight Shrute's cousin, fellow beet farmer, and barn-mate on the U.S. version of the show from time to time. Mose, he was called. Amusing oddity.
He also penned a dozen episodes of the show, including "Office Olympics," "Christmas Party," and one my favorite episodes of any show, "The Return." Really great stuff.
Whitney Says: I watched each episode of the U.K. version of The Office when it first came out on DVD (you know, those silver coasters in your basement), and it strengthened my abs a wee bit from the guffaws -- but tightened my taint considerably from the puckering at so very many awkward scenes. The Americano variety was far more sippable, to me and to many. My US version viewing story arc was similar to that of Jan Levinson -- five years of decent consistency, then fading away with rare cameos (and some psychosis). By then Mike Schur had moseyed on, except a rare pop-in as Mose.
Others may know Michael Schur as:
3. SNL writer from 1998-2004. I didn't realize he was one until I googled him for this. I don't even know what sketches he wrote or co-wrote. But it's a CV standout for anyone, so there you go.
Whitney Says: Um, nothing. I'm sure he did great stuff, but I don't know what. You may.
4. Parks and Recreation co-creator, (sometimes) writer/director, executive producer. What a solid show. 7 seasons, 126 episodes, 8,316 laughs. The documentarian format from The Office but set in... a government office this time! Despite that carryover, it's utterly fresh and super ridiculous. A-plus characters, with Amy Poehler at the helm of the cast. Thoroughly well-written.
This 4-minute clip from an episode well past the show's accepted heyday does it no real justice, but I like it, anyway:
Whitney Says: I never watched this show in its initial run (2009-2015). Instead, I got my interest piqued and my fancy tickled once it was on IFC in back-to-back-to-back-to-you-get-the-picture scheduling. I watched the whole thing start to finish in 2022-23. It's catchy, and good fun all the way through. Treat yo self if you have the chance.
Intermission: check out this site -- Bingeclock. You can see how long it will take you to watch a series in its entirety. Lord help us.
5.Brooklyn Nine-Nine co-creator, (sometimes) writer/director, executive producer. So while Parks and Rec was still rolling along, Mike Schur does what many a resident genius does, branches out and dispenses more goodness while the honeypot is still full. Or something like that. What a solid show. 8 seasons, 153 episodes, 10,898 laughs. (You know, I think I'm really undercutting them on these laughs; there's far more than 3 per minute.)
It seems the documentary thing had run its course, so this was a throwback to classic sitcom land. I read that it had been since Barney Miller since a comedy show really did the cop precinct thing right, which is high praise. And Brooklyn Nine-Nine did it right. Again, a symphony of great characters, the same stellar wordplay, and another killer lead. (You gotta enjoy Andy Samberg for this one to snag you, and I certainly do.)
Side Note: Fans of The State (which several gheorghies are) will see Joe Lo Truglio as prominent cast member Charles Boyle and Ken Marino as a repeat guest. I contend that this is Lo Truglio's finest hour onscreen to date; his character Charles Boyle just gets better with each episode.
Whitney Says: Once again, I never watched this show in its initial run (2013-2021). The 2010's era was back in my drinkin' days, so I was way too busy rocking out to watch network TV, you rubes. But I absorbed every single episode of Brooklyn Nine-Nine this year, making time amidst my new marital bliss. I saw that it was available on Netflix and dove in. Well, Netflix offers the first four seasons. I had to deftly make the leap to Peacock midstream. [Title of your sex tape.] Worth it. Binge that mofo.
Far fewer people know Michael Schur as:
6. Master of None executive producer. Aziz Ansari's starring vehicle ran for 3 seasons and 25 shows starting in 2015.
Whitney Says: . . . but I haven't caught any of them. Well, I did start to watch the first episode one night. Alas, a combo of Dale's Pale Ale and a sluggish opening derailed it. [Title of your sex tape. Dammit, wrong show.] Maybe someday, as Robert Smith once sang.
7.Rutherford Falls co-creator, writer, executive producer. In 2021, after a slew of major victories, Mike Schur embarked on an earnest new show featuring Ed Helms (featured in The Office and guest on B9-9) and Jana Schmieding. Schmieding is a Lakota woman, and the show is centered around the knotty threads of Native American life in a midwest town desperate clinging to its colonial-era history (and colonialism): the town of Rutherford Falls. Helms is a doofy descendant of the town's founders whose identity is inextricably sewn into that genealogy. Many a barb is hurled at Caucasian ignorance/arrogance and the travails of the Native American, both through the years and now. And it's not the only progressive stride the show nimbly makes. It's quite well crafted, but in a comedic way with amiably amusing characters. It's better than I paint it.
Whitney Says: Yeah, so my sum-up didn't make it sound side-splitting, but compared to Parks & Rec and B9-9, it really wasn't. It entertained and induced many a wry smile from me but almost never made me giggle like the other shows did. The plug got pulled after 2 seasons, just 18 episodes. If you're a Mike Schur completist, which is not actually a thing, it's a quick watch (8.5 hours, according to Bingeclock), but most of you have likely let it slide by and still will.
What some people -- but not nearly enough people -- know Michael Schur as:
8.The Good Place co-creator, (sometimes) writer/director, executive producer. What a solid show, which is what I said twice before but holds up for sure (pun planned out!) with The Good Place. The premise is simple: a fairly young woman (Kristen Bell) dies and winds up in what some would call Heaven -- but only due a clerical error. She was an absolute skunk of a human on earth, and she's trying not to get outed in the Good Place. I'll leave it at that, because you should watch it.
Why? Well, it's a taut four seasons (53 episodes; 17 hours) rife with tip-top comedy that benefits from the same machete-sharp writing, abandoned laugh track, and solidly silly storylines as the aforementioned greatness. But what separates this show was Michael Schur's true, unending passion: moral philosophy. You know, ethics. What makes us better than the animals... sometimes. Schur is neck-deep in this thinking and has an extraordinary wealth of knowledge and deep thoughts on the subject. Like a whole lotta brain time focused on this stuff. Some backstory:
Out of that -- obsession is too much of a pejorative, so I'd call it utter fascination with ethical philosophy -- came The Good Place. If this show is a comedy vehicle, it might look from the street to be a fairly standard sedan with all of the three-punch comedy tropes and resolutions wrapped up by minute :22, but do not be fooled: it's not. The gasoline in the engine, the synthetic blend in the oil tank, the fuel and water in the carburetor, the data in the technology package, the air blowing through the A/C into your face, and even the fine Corinthian leather (h/t to Sentence of Dave) is all imbued with -- steeped in -- the asking, musing upon, struggling with, and answering of pondersome, sometimes ponderous ethical questions about Life and How to Live It.
Welcome back. Anyway, It's important to keep The Good Place's plotlines cloaked, because there are fun surprises along the way. But know this: it's a hilarious ride may far more intriguing when moral philosophy isn't just noted as part of the plot (the weighing of the protagonist's "belonging" in Heaven is complicated by her pairing with a recently deceased Professor of Ethics and Moral Philosophy) but as a constant undercurrent to so much of the journey that the show makes.
It's way better than this generic promo pic would suggest
Whitney Says: Yet again, I never watched any of this show in its initial run (2016-2020). I'm staggeringly cutting edge, I know. But I took a flier on the show in late 2023 without knowing (a) anything about the story, (b) that Michael Schur was a co-creator, (c) what Michael Schur had done prior, or (d) that Ethics and Moral Philosophy could make me laugh so much. Even if they constantly slag my elder daughter's new home state (Arizona, sorry, Zoë) and one of the gheorghies' neighboring towns (Jacksonville, sorry, Dan). Good shit, though.
I was in a strange phase I now call my "Death Groove," one in which I randomly, subconsciously selected certain shows to binge watch during downtime minus the missus (on a plane, late at night when I'm up alone, times when she's traveling the nation in trying to keep the Tree from becoming Timber), all of which feature postmortem humor as a critical component:
The Good Place
Ghosts
Pushing Daisies
What We Do in the Shadows (sort of counts)
And they were all worthy. But maybe I'm dying?
Nevertheless, I sped through all 53 episodes of The Good Place, and I loved it. Not only that, after I subsequently watched Brooklyn 9-9 and Rutherford Falls and dug in whole hog on this Mike Schur phenom, I started re-watching TGP in its best bits and pieces with the ethical bent firmly in mind. Still great. All the way through the final episodes, which really take you into a deep thoughts mindmaze.
So, take this all under advisement -- if, of course, you want to know how to be perfect, ethically speaking.
But wait! There's more!
What only a few of you might know Michael Schur as:
9.How to Be Perfect: The Correct Answer to Every Moral Question author. Act now and you can read a Michael Schur-penned book that also braids this kind of philosophical self-excavating with silly comedy!
"From the creator of The Good Place and the cocreator of Parks and Recreation, a hilarious, thought-provoking guide to living an ethical life, drawing on 2,400 years of deep thinking from around the world."
Alrighty then. I'm game. I just found out about this whilst kicking through the legwork for this post. I'm a ripe huckleberry for the book. Available in audio format as well, narrated by the stars of The Good Place!
But wait! There's more! Come on, Whitney. Enough!!
No!!!
What it would not be possible yet to know Michael Schur as:
10. A Man on the Inside creator, writer/director, executive producer. What a solid show, I hope I'll be saying. It begins airing this Thursday!
Wow.
I can't say for sure what this confluence of talent, television, philosophy, death, afterlife, writing, laughing, blogging, and the least unhealthy bingeing that I do all means, but it feels like it's got to mean something. For now, I'm simply tipping my cap and acknowledging someone who's not vastly unlike many of us herein and who took his wicked smarts and strong penchant for funniness to higher heights than I could ever have aspired to ascend. Wish I could have made such a bad-assed climb.
Sitcoms in the 1980's would occasionally do a "very special episode" which was code for "serious," like when Father Mulcahey did a tracheotomy, or when Tom Hanks played Alex P. Keaton's alcoholic uncle, or when Jessie Spano was so excited.
This post is along those lines. My apologies in advance.
Almost eight years ago I opined that "we stand at the precipice of what's shaping up to be the most transparently corrupt four year stretch of our federal government's history." We're now at a newer precipice that is simultaneously more transparent and more corrupt. I could write at length about how crooked it will be when a major government contractor decides how the government will spend money but I have bigger concerns.
One of the key concepts that makes the oldest democracy in the world so great (despite some people saying it needs to be made great again, I think it's great and always has been) is the separation of powers. Click on that link to the Library of Congress website, they have a nice short summary of the doctrine. I'll wait for you.
You're back! You now know that the Founders separated government powers to avoid a monarchy and preserve individual liberty. You also now know that one of the key separated powers is the appointment of federal officers--the president picks them but the Senate approves them. This prevents the president from putting unqualified cronies and lickspittles in positions of power.
President-elect Trump recently twat from his fugazi Twitter platform that he wants to avoid Senate approval for his cabinet picks, and that the next Senate majority leader must agree. Predictably, the three clowns senators vying to be the Senate leader practically tripped over themselves in a rush to acquiesce to Trump's demand.
This is really bad. It's so bad that National Review's Ed Whelan says it's bad. We are watching Trump aggregate a separated power of the Senate unto the Presidency before he's even sworn in, and no one plans to stop him. It's only going to get worse once he's back in the Oval Office.
The worst way it gets worse is Trump's pick of Matt Gaetz for Attorney General. All of Trump's picks so far are stars of the MAGA extended cinematic universe. I don't know if this is because Trump's Diet-Coke-and-Big-Mac addled brain can only come up with people he sees on Fox News, or if it's red meat for his cult base, or both. They're all bad in their own unique ways but Gaetz terrifies me.
Gaetz was not selected for his legal experience or acumen. He apparently practiced for nine or ten years, and six of those years coincided with his time in the Florida House so I doubt he was billing 2000 hours a year. Wikipedia says that after graduating from Marshall-Wythe he was at AnchorsGordon, a nine person shop in northwestern Florida. I am not being an elitist when I say this is not the right resume for the person tasked with leading 10,000 lawyers, the FBI, DEA, OIG, ATF, INTERPOL, and lots of other important stuff.
Gaetz got this job because he'll do whatever Trump wants--he's one of the aforementioned unqualified cronies and lickspittles. And what Trump wants is to use the police power of the federal government to harass and maybe even imprison people who opposed him. Once that becomes the new norm there will be no opposition because all dissenters will be gagged or too scared to say anything. Can you think of any reason why Gaetz wouldn't do this? Why he wouldn't do this gleefully? You don't think that if all the AUSAs of good conscience resign when asked to corruptly investigate or indict Trump's enemies, a glut of mini-Gaetzes won't rise up to take those jobs?
I can deal with the head of hair at DoD, the doge assassin at DHS and Pat Summerall's kid as CoS. But I fear that Gaetz as AG is the beginning of the end of the world's oldest democracy.
And now back to your regularly scheduled dipshittery.
I’ve yammered about various health issues and concerns in this space previously and y’all have been wonderfully indulgent. As the audience is younger than me, I don’t mind being a canary in the coal mine and providing the occasional non-clinical take on the joys of aging.
Entertaining as it is to read about enlarged atria and mitral valve regurgitation, let me take a different tack and offer a suggestion: Record stuff. Everything. Every condition, procedure, screening, test, diagnosis. Torn ligaments, swollen prostates, lumpy breasts, blood sugar spikes, heart flutters, uterine fibroids, the unwelcome polyp or two.
Put them in a journal, notebook, computer disc, hard drive, video diary, whatever your preferred receptacle. Research your parents and families and their health issues through the years, as best you can, and record them, as well.
To paraphrase the minstrel Gordon Sumner: Every bone you break, every med you take, I’ll be watching you.
The information will benefit not only you, but the youngsters. Health care will become more diverse and specialized as you age. Walking into a doc’s office with a reasonably comprehensive personal and family history will help them treat you and identify potential future concerns.
As your kids get older and become responsible for their own health care and consider starting families, their own records and yours will inform them and their doctors. That info could prompt early and preventive screenings and practices. Who knows, insurance might even cover it. Hey, miracles happen.
Think of a family health history as your kids’ least favorite Christmas present.
I say this as a habitual note taker and hoarder professionally who was pretty cavalier, if not negligent, about personal info. I kept box scores and media guides and news files for decades, but often couldn’t pull when I had blood work or a colonoscopy or stress test. Only in recent years have I gotten more diligent about taking notes and keeping records related to me. Some of you may already do this. If so, salute. If not, there’s time.
Granted, digitized record keeping enables access to years’ worth of tests and treatments quickly and easily, so in some cases one need not carry and pull out the family album. But if you’re referred to a cardiac or gastro or endocrinology doc, there’s no guarantee that their computers, or more likely the staffers who man their computers, will communicate with your primary care doc or whomever did the referring.
I’ve experienced instances where my local cardiac guy’s findings were unknown to a cardiac specialist I see elsewhere and vice versa, even though they’re in the same (gargantuan) network, and neither’s diagnosis made it to my primary care doc before I saw him for a regular check-up months later. Keeping your own records reduces the chances of falling through the cyber cracks, or at least providing some background if the doc standing before you makes a face as if she was suddenly handed a Turkish train schedule.
Also, evident midway through my seventh decade is that the disruptor gremlins don’t politely wait in line or take turns, as some of you are doubtless aware. A thyroid issue may arise alongside heart arrhythmia, joining that touch of arthritis in your knees and ankles for an assemblage of delight. Chronicling all of it won’t alleviate the problems but provides a sense that we’re aware and not a dinghy helplessly caught in a squall. We’re essentially security cams or mall cops when it comes to our health, unable to remedy a situation but at least recognize that something irregular is afoot and alert the authorities.
Which prompts one more recommendation: listen to your body. I get that most of us don’t want to come off as alarmists or hypochondriacs, hustling to the doc for every tweak and ache and ailment. I still tend to chalk up various discomforts as old guy distinctions and tolerate them. But once we cross 50, any condition that lingers is worth exploring. Understand, as well, that some conditions present themselves, others do not. So get screened for the stuff you can’t see or feel right away.
Erosion comes for us all. Give yourself a chance to endure it knowledgeably, if not always comfortably. Sedation remains an option, and methods and ingredients may vary.
If you're like me and still a little bit baffled about the state of the world, or at least our corner of it, and wondering about what comes next, you could do worse than reflect on this from Jeff Goldblum.
Posts
