Revenge for Matthew Clemmens? This reporter thinks so.

Last night, a Philadelphia police officer tasered a teen that ran onto the field. The Philadelphia police comissioner is "publicly supporting the officer's actions."

You can check out the video and article here.

But you won't find any mention of the Matthew Clemmens incident in that article . . .

G:TB: we connect the dots.

G:TB Technology Hour

Let it never be said that our man Ghitza isn't cutting the edge. Here, in a candid moment captured by one of our numerous field agents, he's shown making a phone call on an iPad - even though such thing is said to be impossible. His hands are huuuge.

Have you seen my baseball (season)?

So, in honor of May, let's try something new around here...and talk sports. No, not the sports Mark wants...or work Jerry...or regular Jerry...but baseball. We are now a month into the new season, and I am here to catch you up, real quick, so you can return to your Pawn Stars and the new season of Jersey Shore...and of course the NBA and NHL Playoffs...

HOWEVAH, while I am here, the first month of baseball, in typical G:TB fashion:

Have you seen...the record of the hometown 9? That's right, the Nats are 13-12, and playing competent ball all around (minus the Game Changer of course). And they're chasing the Metropolitans in the NL East? That's correct y'all (as some drunken country bumpkin might say).

Speaking of the Nats, a sure fire HoFer who no doubtedly used some sort of performing enhancing drugs is currently batting .400 and carrying a pitching staff composed of a Cuban raftugee and four dudes who were never in your kitchen.

The Orioles are horrific. Yet they just swept rob's Red Sox. In the grand scheme of things, it means nothing. In the course of writing this post, it means everything.

Someone start trailing Paul Konerko's FedEx deliveries...something seems to be adrift on memories bliss.

Robinson Cano is the first Yankee to ever hit .400 and have 8 HRs in April. Sure, I'm a homer, but doesn't that strike you as quite odd given the history of the Yankees?

It's amazing Zach Greinke ever cured his depression issues, because if he reads the following sentence he might just want a Zoloft cocktail:
In his last 85 starts, Greinke has a 2.87 ERA in 540 innings. And he's just 32-27.

This comes off his complete game last night where he gave up one run...and of course lost, because the Royals are a Viagra short of a rally.

Did you know TR's old blog was named after the "Feel My Heat" scene/tune in Boogie Nights? No? Well, it was.

The Pittsburgh Pirates are somehow 10-15 on the year...yet their run differential is -89. To put that in perspective, the next worst run differential is -44.

Well folks, I'd love to stay, but honestly, this much actually typing kills my nails.

Welcome to May...

...and a Brand New Funk*:



*Mock me all you want for enjoying the Fresh Prince and DJ Jazzy Jeff, but all I know is I wore out that "He's the DJ, I'm the Rapper" tape when it came out. Forget "Parents Just Don't Understand" for a second...between this song, "Nightmare on my Street" and "Charlie Mack" I couldn't get enough of the fellas in the Summer of '89. And, oh yeah, F U Jazzy Jeff for remixing this song two years ago because you needed the money.

Worst Driver Ever?

If he doesn't take the gold he's at least on the podium:

As far as I can tell, this is 100% real. Yep, that's half a Mercedes sticking out of a brick wall seven stories up. Some donk in Tulsa got his foot caught between the brake pedal and the accelerator, and this was the result. And to think, he was so close to locking up a 2010 Darwin Award. Maybe next time sir.

Seasick Steve is very Gheorghe

You should add "Later with Jools Holland" to your TV regimen, particularly if you like music. Each episode has four to five guests who take turns playing music. And the combinations of artists are preposterous. Dizzee Rascal and The Hold Steady? DBT and Mos Def? The Streets and Alan Toussaint? Kaiser Chiefs and John Legend and Frank Black? Robert Plant and The Go! Team? Lunacy. The host provides a minimal introduction of the next artist between songs. No Q&A sessions on the couch, no promotion of tours or albums, just song after song after song. If you take my advice you'll find interesting new musicians like Seasick Steve.

You might ask "Who is Seasick Steve and why should I listen to his music?" I'll tell you why. He's got more Gheorgheness than Rambo's got bullets. By way of a non-limiting example, he has an album titled "I Started Out with Nothin and I Still Got Most of It Left." How Gheorghe is that?

Want more Gheorgheness? If Igor was about 10 years older with legitimate facial hair, a three-string guitar, and lots more musical talent, he'd be Seasick Steve. Don't believe me? Watch this (make sure you hear the first four seconds):



Total Igor/Gheorghe (Igheorghe?) move. Seasick Steve also has a one-string guitar.



And a banjo (for Dennis).



And a drum machine (for Greasetruck).



And he likes cars (for me). But he isn't a very good driver.

Friday for the People

Thanks to FOG:TB Dan for the inspiration. Enjoy your Friday, Flogging Molly-style.

Greasetruck Declares: I Like Food

Every so often the stars align, and I create the greatest rock song in the history of music. Sometimes I do it with a little help from my friends and sometimes I do it alone. But despite my lack of aesthetic sense and my even greater lack of musical talent, it happens rather frequently.


It happened freshman year of college when Whitney and I wrote "Bloodfinger" and "Oh Melissa" in the same sitting (and despite Rob's percussion, these were the best rock songs recorded in 1989) and then it happened again in 1991 when Random Idiots recorded a little hip-hop number celebrating the death of children's author Theodore Geisel; then, in 2003, long after everyone thought I was out of the game (and the country) Greasetruck combined a rambling monologue with grunge rock, resulting in "Dirty Girls,"; it happened a fourth time when Greasetruck reflected on the current financial crisis with "The Bear," and it happened a FIFTH time last summer when Whitney and I and a dozen other musicians created the magnum opus collage of bad rock lyrics we call "Dear Ozzy (Thanks For Nothing)."


I know that I am extremely lucky. Many famous rock bands (such as Starship, Chicago and Emerson, Lake and Palmer) never recorded even one song that could be considered the greatest rock song in all of history. This is confusing, and so I should define my terms: to be the greatest rock song in all of rock history (and, paradoxically, there can be more than one) it must be a song, that when heard (drunk or sober) you think in your head: this is the greatest rock song in all of history. Example: "You Shook Me All Night Long" by AC/DC. Anti-example: "We Didn't Start the Fire" by Billy Joel.

They say lightning never strikes six times in the same place, but I beg to differ. After a barely tolerable run of songs about obtuse topics (time travel, the Olympic theme for snowboarders, psychedelia in the desert, free will vs. determinism, and novel writing) Greasetruck has tackled a subject for the masses. A surefire hit. One that can't go wrong. The song is called "I Like Food" and it's all about . . . liking food. And how a lot of the food I like sounds kind of dirty.

There is no monologue, but the song includes a rap, and I got some lyrical aid from Whitney (mad rhymes such as: blew up Jaws, made a lot of sushi/ then I squeezed a jello-zit like Belushi) so not only is this the greatest rock song in the history of music, it is also the greatest rap song in the history of Caucasian hip hop (excluding everything ever done by The Beastie Boys, Eminem, 3rd Bass, Aesop Rock, and House of Pain . . . see the Cauc Hop). So it's better than Vanilla Ice. And it is safe for work, so turn it up. There's also plenty of allusions in the rap, see if you can spot them all. The toughest one is from Raising Arizona. The lyrics are underneath the SoundClick widget.

Now playing: Greasetruck

I like food, yes I do.

I like to chew, that's why I like you.

We like to eat when we meet.
A restaurant, you order what you want.

We like food, yes it's true.
We like to chew, and that's why I like you.

I need protein, you know what I mean.
Give me something lean. Give me Soylent Green

We like food, me and you.
We like to chew, that's why I like you.

Cheese steak, fat cat, greasy gyro--
I say grinder, you say hero.
Hummus is chickpeas mashed to mush,
I'll stuck my pita in your baba ghanoush.
You say tomato, I say tomato,
guacamole is made of avocado.
Wonton, split pea, mulligatawny--
in Alien 3, they ate Sigourney.
Booberry, Crunchberry, Strawberry Quik--
my Tootsie Pop, it needs a lick.
In Chinatown, I ate a mallard,
uptown, Elaine gets a big salad.

Ate long pig, tasted like chicken

Hannibal finds it finger lickin'.

Yodels, Ho Hos, Tastee Cake--

try a little cookie from your EZ bake,

my bread will rise with the yeast,

eat cream pie at the Mayday feast.
Tapioca pudding, pecan log.

Diane suckin' on a chili dog.

Milk fed veal lives in a box,
clog your bagel hole with my lox.
Spread the butter, cut the cheese,
hold the chicken salad between your knees.

Starburst, Ring Dings, Jujy Fruit,
wing of bat, eye of newt,
Portnoy's liver, filet of fluke,
50 boiled eggs for Cool Hand Luke.
Glistening bags of sugar coated candy,
peel my grapes while a double-D fans me.
Crack the bone, suck the marrow--
bottle of rum with John Sparrow.
I like whitefish, I like scrod,
ate the worm and I saw God.

I ate crawdads, I ate sand,
ate your sauce from the can
Violet Beuragaurde chewed the gum.
I'll poke your plum pudding with my thumb.
Peeled the banana, bit the flesh,
drank bugged up milk with David Koresh.

Pizza, calzone, and stromboli--

Leave the gun, take the cannoli.
Buffet had a burger in Paradise,
but Kumar thinks White castle's nice.

A Chicken McNugget's got no bone,
I like Cheetos when I'm stoned.

Ate a rattlesnake then an anaconda,
ate Pad Thai with Jane Fonda.
Chicken Tikka's sauce is orange . . .
yeah, that stuff is really orange.
Blew up Jaws, made a lot of sushi
Squeezed a Jello zit like Belushi.

I ate spam, baked beans, and spam

I ate the egg, then I ate the egg man.

Got some couscous in Morocco,

then I got a rash from a tuna taco.

Pulled the pork off the butt
maraschino cherry, crack my nut.
Smuggling peanuts in your sweater,
bacon makes everything a little better
fill my sandwich with the Fluffernutter,
Brando says pass the butter
I ate cat-food, I ate dog . . .
went to France and ate a frog.
Then I ate nothing, like my hombre Gandhi--

a lot of these rhymes rely on spondee.

We like food . . .

You cook for me and then we eat.
I say it's good, just like should.

I like the food, yes I like the food . . .
We like the food. Yeah we like to chew . . .

That's funny, I feel the exact same way about Tila Tequila

Fashion + Soccer = Massive Idiocy

We have a recurring "fashion is dumb" schtick here at G:TB. And I just don't get soccer. Combine the two and you get the following synergistic idiocy.

Nats Magazine Editors 1, Logic 0

Saw this poster for the Nationals Magazine walking around the stadium Friday:


Before mysteriously appearing on the disabled list with a case of "suck", here were Jason "Game Changer" Marquis' season totals:

• Three games started
• Three games lost
• A whopping 8.1 innings pitched
• 18 hits allowed
• 19 ERs allowed

That all adds up to a tidy 20.52 ERA, 2.88 WHIP and .439 BAA.

Ask the Large Hadron Collider

For the third installment of advice from lesser known sages, G:TB heads to Switzerland. Mr. LHC is predictably unbiased in his guidance, but his breadth of culture is unexpectedly large--he's the Synchroton Booster who knows more than just the Higgs Boson!


Dear Mr. LHC:

When I first started dating my girlfriend, there was plenty of romance and adventure, but now it seems like all she wants to do is watch reality TV and chill out on Facebook. What should I do?

Timing in a relationship is a difficult thing. There are certainly peaks and valleys, and if you can't navigate these, then the relationship is doomed. Perhaps it would be best to remind your lover that soon, in a universal sense, the sun that your planet is orbiting will die out and all life will end in your corner of the galaxy. So why not jump into bed and use all the orifices your species has for pleasure?

Hey Collider,

What is the truth about dark matter? Is there enough of it to prevent the universe from expanding until it becomes a cold lifeless void?

Although many people do not prefer dark matter, it is essential for making a tasty soup stock.

Dear LHC:

Do you think the Giants number one draft choice Jason Pierre-Paul's ability to do thirteen back flips will have any correlation with his potential as a defensive end?



Gravity is known as the "weak force." Pierre-Paul's ability to temporarily defeat this force won't change the fact that the Giants now have five defensive ends vying for playing time. I will list them in order of how cool their names sound to me: 1) Osi Umenyiora 2) Mathias Kiwanuka 3) Justin Tuck 4) Jason Pierre-Paul 5) Dave Tollefson. Tollefson is going to have a hard time competing with names like that.

If this draft choice worries you, remember that in five billion years, your sun will turn into a "red giant" and expand rapidly until it either completely engulfs your planet or-- the best case scenario-- it boils away your oceans and atmosphere, turning your blue and green paradise into a barren lifeless rock. Choosing an inexperienced athlete from a less competitive conference in a position that you already have a wealth of talent at will be the least of your problems.

And what about the McNabb trade?

It is odd for the Eagles to set up a collision with a force they know is potent and momentous. It is my guess that while Michael Vick was incarcerated, he studied quantum physics, and has now postulated what will happen during the next run of experiments inside my bowels. He obviously shared this information with the front office. I don't want to ruin the surprise, and I'm not saying that a black hole may tear your nation's capitol loose from the space-time fabric, but don't be surprised if a black hole tears your nation's capitol loose from the space-time fabric.

More Draft PRETTY Please!

I don't know about you guys, but I was kind of sick at looking at that dude's breasts. If I wanted to spend this evening looking at dudes' breasts, I'd walk into the bathroom, tear off this Indiana State Fair Corndog t-shirt (casual Friday), and stare at my tig ole bitties in the mirror. Therefore, you are getting yet another post in which to comment on Rounds 2 and 3 of the NFL Draft tonight. But wait, I'd be remiss if I didn't leave you with some nuggets from the draft section (re: bowels) of G:TB...a concept column once called "Gheorghe-pourri"...

**Whitney also didn't want to miss out on Filler Week, but unfortunately for him I was too lazy to load this clip up anytime in the last three days. Please, enjoy now. Actually, wait, now I remember what this clip was about. Um, good luck:


**TR left a college hoops post in drafts for a long time entitled"Here's to THE Loser! (and Several Other Losers)". Everytime I saw it I thought it deserved this as a soundtrack, which means I'm posting it, whether it was 21% done or 90% done:
The winner of the 2009-10 0-fer-the-conference award goes to the tri-state area's favorite Jesuit school, the Fordham Rams. The feeble Rams got pasted in all 16 of their conference games this year and finished a meager 2-26 overall. And while the A-10 has gotten some of its strongest press since the Lamar Odom and Yinka Dare days, let's face facts that it's not a brutal conference by any measure. No offense to the alma maters of Lionel Simmons, Jameer and Delonte or the late, great Dare, there are some soft teams in the lower rung of this conference. The average margin of loss was over 17 points in conference play, with only one legitimate squeaker, a 78-76 loss to UMass to start conference play.

After firing head coach Dereck Whittenburg (yes, THAT Whittenburg) in early December, things turned sour up in the Boogie Down Bronx. We salute you, Rams of Fordham. May your fans be allowed to drink away their sorrows in the venerable Dagger John's, the bar that is ingenuously located beneath your home court.

Honorable mention losers:

DePaul: 1-17 in Big East play, 8-23 overall.

Rice: 1-15 in Conference USA play, 8-23 overall. They don't care because they're smarter than you.

Dartmouth: 1-13 in Ivy League play, 5-23 overall. See Rice explanation.
Marist: 1-17 in MAAC play, 1-29 overall.

Toledo: 1-15 in Mid-American play, 4-28 overall.
Air Force: 1-15 in Mountain West play, 10-21 overall. Hard to crush a bunch of pilots that went 9-6 in OOC play.
Bryant: 1-17 in Northeast play , 1-29 overall. Arguably the worst showing in the nation. The Northeast is a putrid conference and the school could barely remain competitive. If you're wondering if your author had heard of the school before March 2010, the answer is a resounding no. The school appears to be located in Rhode Island. Their motto is "The Character for Success." Good for them.

UT-Martin: 1-17 in Ohio Valley play, 4-25 overall. The school is in Martin, TN. It has a friggin'rodeo program. I had no idea it was a rodeo sport. Awesome.

**I wanted to be cute the other day and say "Look, I found John Smoltz, looks like he doesn't want to pitch anymore..."then I got high...
**Finally, I searched the interwebs for the best second round picks of all time, and found a link which I now stupidly deleted, but had these names on it:

QB Brett Favre ’91

DE Fred Dean ’75
RB Thurman Thomas ’88

DE Mike Strahan ’93
RB Roger Craig ’83

DT Howie Long ’81
WR Chad Ochocinco ’01

DT Fred Smerlas ’79
WR Wesley Walker ’77

LB Jack Ham ’71
TE Dave Casper ’74

LB Jack Lambert ’74
OT Dan Dierdorf ’71

LB Rickey Jackson ’81
OT John Elliott ’88

CB Eric Allen ’88
G Steve Wisniewski ’89

CB Lem Barney ’67
G Larry Allen ’94

S Brian Dawkins ’96
C Dwight Stephenson ’80

S Tim McDonald ’87

Wither Darren Sharper?

More Draft Please!

I'll be damned if this extended draft format isn't a big hit. I officially deem it a big hit based on the reaction of the twenty of you who will read this and the four dudes I talk to on my floor. The prolonged suspense of big names falling to Friday is much more significant than I anticipated. Mays, McCoy, Dunlap, Clausen, Spikes, Cody's tits, etc. are all still jiggling out there. My personal sleeper is Cincinnati's Mardy Gilyard. The guy is a beast. He'll be a good value in Round 3 or 4. I wonder how the future Mrs. Colt McCoy feels about possibly ending up in Buffalo. I'm going to mail her my VHS copy of Buffalo 66 and then invite her to my place.

I don't have much to say about Round 1, other than every single mock draft I read had Jermaine Gresham going to the Bengals at 21. I started noticing that trend earlier this week, and then was happy the Bengals took him there, although I have no idea why. Let's hope he turns out better than old Big 12 (nee Big 8) TEs Keith Jackson and Johnny Mitchell. Ugh.

Here is a mock Round 2 draft. I love to critique mock drafts, but I can't get enough of them. The web-site must be legit because it is called nflmocks.com. But who cares anyway? It distracts me from a 15 page white-paper I'm writing on a prodigious oil field in North Dakota. (E-mail me here if you want a copy of that report!)

Good job manufacturing some extra sizzle from the draft, Mr. Goodell. Too bad you looked brutally nervous every time you made a pick.

And somebody needs to find the YouTube of Berman's arm-waving histrionics coming back from commercial at some point last night. What a dildo. I would have posted more on this in last night's comments, but my two year-old took that moment to inform me he had ripped off his diaper and wet the bed. Awesomeness.

Draft Over/Under

It's become fairly common for people to mock the mock drafts and other prediction based analysis of the NFL Draft by stating (correctly, for the most part) that very few, if any, people have watched enough of each individual draft prospect to have an accurate feel for what kind of player someone will be in the NFL. And you know what? I totally agree. If the NBA Draft is an inexact science, the NFL Draft is drunken horseshoes. Sure, some people are more skilled than others but nobody's got a perfect record and everybody has some embarrassing gaffes we can all point to at some point in their careers. With that said, I fucking love both the NFL and NBA Drafts and I love blathering on with my opinions on the players in these drafts even more. The ability to spew my opinion across a platform that reaches tens of people is why I signed a contract with G:TB (that and a free bottle of Jameson.../shakes fist at Rob) in the first place, so I'm certainly not going to miss out on a chance to do such on one of the biggest days on the sports dork calendar. Now that I've gotten that out of the way, here's my top 5 most overrated/underrated NFL Draft prospects: First Round Edition.

Overrated:

CJ Spiller: I love CJ Spiller. He's versatile, electric in the open field and as a good a receiver out of the backfield as you're going to find coming out of college. This is more a matter of where he'll be drafted than my evaluation of his abilities. He's going to end up going in the top 10-12 picks. You could make the case that that's too high for any running back. Much less one who isn't an every down back, hasn't shown a proclivity for picking up tough, inside yardage and isn't all that big or physical. I have no problem with Spiller going in the 20s but there's no way I think he's worth a top 10 pick.

Anthony Davis: I know little of Davis other than the bits and pieces of Rutgers games I watched over the past two years. However, I keep hearing the same things about him. Maturity issues. Weight issues. Lack of work ethic. Yeah, I'll pass on a highly talented yet unmotivated tackle if I'm drafting in the first round. If you remember Winston Justice, you might want to do the same, NFL GM.

Jason Pierre-Paul: Another physical freak. This one isn't supposed to be a head case though. He is, however, extremely raw, as he played just one season of major college football. On top of that, he wasn't all that productive. Just 6.5 sacks while playing in the Big East and on the opposite side of All-American George Selvie? Hmmmmmm. I'd be concerned about spending a 1st round pick on a pass rusher with those types of red flags. But, just in case that wasn't enough there's this: The last DE to play JUCO Football and then find success in the NFL was Leonard Little. So, if you draft Jason Pierre-Paul you're either drafting a bust who'll be out of the league in 3-4 years or a guy who's going to rack up DUIs and possibly kill someone.

Taylor Mays: This may be a stretch as it now seems as though Mays could possibly fall out of the first round, but I've driving the anti-Taylor Mays bandwagon for a couple of years now so I see no reason to hand over the reins on draft night. Mays has everything you could ever want in a safety...except for instincts and anticipation. Which, if all things are fairly equal, are the most important aspects of safety play. Here's what I want to know about my safeties: Can you anticipate what's coming and react quickly enough to stop it or minimize the damage? Nothing I've ever seen from Mays says he can do that consistently. Which might be why he left USC with only 2 career interceptions.

DeMaryius Thomas: A big, physical but extremely raw WR who played in a triple option scheme in college and (I'm guessing) didn't run the full menu of routes he'll be expected to in the NFL. I'm generally down on big WRS who excel due to their physical gifts in college and I never expect them to have much impact early in their careers (see: Kelly, Malcom or Thomas, Devin). The fact that Thomas played in a Georgia Tech offense that basically asked him to run go routes half the time makes me even more skeptical of the impact potential of him.

Underrated:

Eric Berry: I know, how can a consensus top 5-10 pick be underrated? Here's how: When teams that could use a safety aren't drafting him. Not because of a lack of need but because of an antiquated model that says you don't draft a safety high in the 1st round due to a lack of value at that spot. I understand the logic behind this, I just happen to disagree with it. Most experts will tell you that the NFL is now a passing league or "QB driven" and few, if any, will disagree with this notion. Doesn't that mean that the relative value of a game changing free safety has been enhanced by the overall direction of the league? I would certainly think so. Defenses, nay top defenses have been built around the talents of safeties like Ed Reed and Troy Polamalu in the modern NFL. If you can get a player like Berry (who many project as an Ed Reed level impact safety) to man your back line for the next 10 years without overlooking another, more glaring need, why wouldn't you?

Kyle Wilson: A big, physical corner who's been a starter at a quality program for 3-4 years and who brings you an added dimension as a return man. In my opinion, Wilson is the second best corner in the draft behind Joe Haden. Some may point to the lower level of competition that Wilson faced in the WAC, but any fears about his ability to handle a higher level of athlete should've been put to rest by his stellar performance during the week of the Senior Bowl.

Maurkice Pouncey: Arguably the most versatile O-Lineman in this year's draft (It's either he or Trent Williams). A starter since day one of his freshman year at Florida. Team leader, great character and plays with a nasty streak. He was never a secret to me, even going back to high school (he and his twin brother were arguably the biggest impact recruits in the state of Florida as seniors in high school) but I remember when I first knew he'd be a 1st rounder. His freshman year, he played LSU All-American (and eventual top 5 pick) Glenn Dorsey in Baton Rouge all night long with only occasional help, and he fought him to a stalemate. Think about how impressive that is for a true freshman guard (He played both center and guard at UF). Pouncey will play 10-12 years and make at least 6 Pro Bowls. Mark it down.

Brandon Graham: Call him the anti-Vernon Gholston. His measurables don't wow anyone but he was always around the ball in college and led the nation in TFL last year. The he went out and destroyed everybody he went up against at the Senior Bowl. Maybe not a high impact DE/LB but one who will give you 100% on every play, will maintain responsibilities in the run and pass game while still managing to rack up 9-12 sacks a year.


Jerry Hughes: Another guy who won't blow you away with his size/speed ratio but also another guy who was extremely productive in college (led nation in sacks). Hughes plays well in space, so he projects well as a 3-4 LB. While I'm no D-Line expert, I believe that sack production (much like rebounding in basketball) is one thing that almost always transfers from college to the pros. If Hughes is available in the late 1st round, you grab him. His name doesn't hurt either.

Now, since I'm the resident expert on all things University of Florida here at G:TB, I figured I'd include my brief thoughts on the (many) Gators who figured to be drafted over the next 3 days.

Tim Tebow: Look at Jerry's analysis here. I concur with nearly all of it.

Joe Haden: Best corner in the draft. Physical, fast, great character and work ethic and still fairly new to the position, so there's still a lot of upside here.

Carlos Dunlap: When was the last time a player dropped from a sure fire top 10 pick in December to a fringe second rounder by draft time? I can't recall a drop like this in all my years of draft watching. Dunlap had effort issues at times at Florida and (in the interviews I've seen) doesn't come off as a "high motor" kind of guy but dude's a freak of the highest order and was pretty damn productive at Florida over the last two seasons. His DUI during the week of the SEC Championship game certainly has a lot to do with his precipitous drop but this seems extreme considering that was his first ever transgression that we know of. If he's properly motivated by this, somebody's getting a steal and if I needed a pass rusher late in round 1, I'd look long and hard at Dunlap.

Aaron Hernandez: Another guy who was going to be a first round pick in December who's slipped into Round 2. However, this has less do to with the player than the overall depth of this draft. Hernandez is a player who will be a huge asset in the passing game (both as a TE and an H-Back) provided that he's drafted by a team that will be creative with him. Ultimately, as a fan, I'd like to see a team like Philadelphia, Tennessee, Green Bay, or even Arizona get him.

Jermaine Cunningham: A bit of an unsung hero for Florida over the past few years due to a combination of his quiet consistency and lack of explosive plays. He rarely overwhelmed you but he was always creating pressure and involved. I think he can play in space a bit and could be valuable for a 3-4 team. However, I'd like to see him go to a team that values speed on defense like Indy or New Orleans.

Brandon Spikes: It's no secret, I love Brandon Spikes. He was a warrior at Florida while being a versatile and impactful defender. However, he's timed out as much slower than most had expected. The stopwatch says that Spikes isn't a MLB which, not surprisingly, has caused his stock to plummet. Here's my take: Spikes was most effective at Florida in the 'Joker' package where he played as a standup DE and either rushed or dropped into coverage (where he's better than he gets credit for). Spikes' future is as a LB in a 3-4 system. If he's drafted by a 3-4 team he'll not only make a roster but eventually become a starter.

Major Wright: Big hitter, questionable (imo) instincts in the passing game. He timed out much, much faster than most Florida observers imagined he would and, consequently, is sitting higher on draft boards (2nd/3rd round) than most originally thought. I like Major Wright and will never, ever forget this hit but I'm not sold on him as an NFL Safety.

Riley Cooper: Big, fast, physical...and that's just with the ladies. Thank you, thank you. I'll be here all week. Seriously though, the guy's been through half the co-eds in Gainesville. He's a big WR with good hands and lots of toughness. He's still pretty raw but he's got the type of upside you want if you're taking a WR in rounds 3-5.

One last thing: My super sleeper is Linval Joseph. He's a massive DT from East Carolina and a Gainesville native. He nearly went to Florida but had his offer rescinded at the last minute. In high school he was just a big, fat kid with tons of athleticism. In fact, Florida wasn't sure if they wanted him as an OL or DL. Eventually, he ended up at ECU and changed his body while increasing his athleticism. He could project for either a 3-4 or a 4-3 and he's not going to last thru round 2. Place your bets accordingly.

rob wants in on Filler Week

Tiny sent along this link for our afternoon amusement:

Wu Tang Nickname Generator

I got us started...when Gheorghe: The Summit takes place one year from now in New Orleans for Jazz Fest 2011 you can simply call me Sarkastik Desperado*.

*It's really quite sad that an internet meme like a Wu Tang nickname generator is able to peg me so easily.

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In addition to his 6 game suspension, "Big" Ben Roethlisberger lost a sponsor. Big Ben's Beef Jerky was yanked. From shelves. Join me in the comments with witty comments regarding Ben's jerky wrapper.

Greatest Celebrity Workout Video Ever?

Yeah, it's a video heavy day, but then again, when I'm charge it's always a video heavy day. OK, the clip below might be nine minutes long, but I strongly urge you to settle in for the long haul. This is beyond cheesy:

Courtesy of the Z-Man

Your Wednesday filler...it appears many of these videos were removed, but of those that remain, this one still has me laughing:

Wiz Khalifa and Curren$y Like Bowling

Wiz Khalifa and Curren$y are exceedingly Gheorghe. And they clearly like bowling in every sense of the word. I feel like Mark would fit right in if they wanted to form a three-man crew. Wiz Khalifa has a nifty mix tape out too, available free here.

Keep the volume down at work.

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