Take a Break

For the first time ever, the footballing world, men's division, is taking a three-week long break from club competition to provide time for international matches. FIFA chose to consolidate traditional September and October breaks into a single, longer period, which seems to be pretty sensible (and thus, very un-FIFA) - teams have more time to train together and gain more continuity, and the travel burden on players is halved. 

The nature of the matches in this window vary from the highly competitive UEFA Nations League and AFCON qualifiers to a bunch of friendlies between minnows (Dominica beat Anguilla, 1-0, on Monday, for example) and Lionel Messi's farewall match for Argentina on October 7. 

Here at home, USMNT skipper Mauricio Pochettino is using the extended break to integrate a number of youngsters into the senior national team setup. Of note, 16 year-old Philadelphia Union winger Cavan Sullivan, who's been tearing up MLS over the past month, is set to make his debut for the now aptly-nicknamed Baby Eagles. He's joined in the squad by fellow teenagers Neil Pierre (18 year-old center back), Mathis Albert (17, MF), Adri Mehmeti (17, MF), Julian Hall, (18, F), Peyton Miller, (18, D), Justin Ellis (19, F), and Zavier Gozo (19, MF). Cole Campbell (20, F) and Frankie Westfield (20, D) are relative codgers, comparatively. 

The U.S. play Peru, Chile, Mexico and Canada over the next several weeks. Grown-ass men on those first sides - the baptism could be a bit toasty.

The lengthy break gives club teams and their followers a chance to assess the season's first month and figure out what's gone well and what leaks need to be patched. It also gives me an opportunity to take a quick look at my preseason Premier League prognostications after five matches. It's too early to draw any conclusions (and thank the soccer gods, because if the season ended now I'd look like an idiot), but we can see some outlines of the story that'll play out over the remaining 33 matches.

So what have we learned?

The level is insanely high and the league is very deep. Among other evidence:

• Brighton walloped defending champs and previously unbeaten Arsenal, 3-0 in the last match before the break and has scored more goals than anyone else in the league.
• Bournemouth and Sunderland both had Manchester City dead to rights at the Etihad before the home side pulled off escapes.
• Leeds and Everton are both unbeaten (two wins and three draws)
• European results thus far are outstanding:
• EPL teams are 5-0 in the Champions League, 3-0 in the Europa League, and 1-1-0 (W-D-L) in the Conference League

Big names on either the front or back of a kit don't guarantee results. Tottenham Hotspur spent over $400m on new contracts this summer. At the time of this writing, and for at least the next three weeks, that entire roster has as many league goals as do the G:TB staff. Manchester United is off to the worst start in the club's 35-year Premier League history.

The G:TB Coaching Primacy Theorem offers mixed returns thus far. Andoni Iraola's Liverpool are unbeaten, but two wins and three draws in five have raised eyebrows at Anfield. Xabi Alonso's Chelsea team look exceptional going forward at times. They've also allowed more goals than any other squad. Spurs' Roberto de Zerbi has overseen a clusterfuck. Meanwhile, we scoffed at Enzo Maresca's potential at Manchester City, and the oddball Italian has his side top of the table with five wins in a row.

Enjoy the break and the opportunity for the young Americans to stake their claim to the future of the program. And maybe don't pay much attention to our preseason predictions.

Special Gheorghasbord: World Cup Edition

We're 86 days away from the start of the 2026 World Cup, when Mexico hosts South Africa in Mexico City. Until that time, the organizers will no doubt be holding their collective breath, hoping no more ill-fitting Florsheims will drop. 

Meanwhile, the first (and I'm betting only) recipient of the FIFA Peace Prize is stumbling oafishly through one ill-conceived international crisis of choice after another. His pointless war with Iran may cost the tournament a participant, as the Iranians have made noises questioning whether they'll participate in the event. Says here they won't be the last country to consider withdrawal, and that more than one nation will have a difficult time securing visas for their athletes.

At the same time, America's global follies seem to be off-putting to fans of other nations, who aren't yet booking travel to the U.S. in predicted numbers. This is a shocking turn of events. Harry Carr, Pivot Hotels & Resorts’ senior vice president of commercial optimization, told Forbes, “We are much less bullish about World Cup than we were three months ago," adding that "FIFA sent back some of the company’s room-block holds without a single reservation having been made for the tournament."

Let's be clear about something. I loathe FIFA and its still-corrupt fuck you, pay me approach to the global game. I hate that our President and his toadies will likely try to wrap themselves around the flag while the World Cup take place here (and in Mexico and Canada). I won't be paying the extortionate prices for tickets to a live match. 

But I'll be watching all of it, goddammit. I'm a weak and predictable man.

And while I watch, I'll be enjoying the USMNT's kits. One of them, anyway.

The Athletic released an interesting piece yesterday about the design process for this year's kits. Seems the players were less than thrilled by 2022's fairly basic look and wanted a say. The athletes wanted something iconic, and they wanted something they could wear with jeans to the club. Seriously.

Fair to say Nike delivered on both counts. 

The home kit is uniquely American, with the stripes of the flag waving and offering a sense of motion. I assume (hope) they'll pair it with blue shorts and white or blue socks. It's distinctive, evocative, and even fun. 

On the other hand, the away kit is much more reserved. It's a deep, near-black Navy blue with metallic stars that'll be visible up close but hard to make out at a distance. The badge and the Nike logo are designed to blend into the shirt, as well. Hoping for white shorts and matching socks for this one, which I find just okay. It'd look good with a pair of light-wash jeans, though, and it seems to be the favorite of many of the players.

86 days. Let's hope we get there.

GTB On USMNT: The Definitive Guide to Picking a New Manager

It is de rigueur for American footie fans to weigh in on the search for the next USMNT manager, and we're nothing if not rigueurous, so we'll plunge right in. In our inimitable style, short on analytical rigor and long on winging it. 

I've heard a couple of good arguments from various pundits on the topic, which I'll repeat for your benefit and use as guideposts for my thinking. First, we compete globally, so it would good to have a manager with a broader perspective than just American soccer. And secondly, this is an 18-month job. We're not looking for a program builder. We need to use the talent we have the best way possible to maximize our achievement in World Cup we're hosting in 2026. Anything beyond that should be the Federation's focus*, not the manager's. Hat tip to Taylor Twellman for the spot-on second point.

*Of considerable note, the Federation is peopled by cronyistic doofuses, which perhaps makes 2026 an even more do or die priority.

Others have suggested that we need a manager who's held the reins of a national side, and while I think that wouldn't hurt, I'm not sure it's mandatory. We need a coach with a track record of building teams that win. Full stop.

There have been a lot of names bandied about in the press, from big names like Jurgen Klopp to Americans having success in Europe like New Jersey's own Pellegrino Materazzo, who coaches TSG Hoffenheim in the Bundesliga, to MLS long-timers like Philadelphia Union's Jim Curtin. Those are all fine coaches, and if we can get Klopp, we should get Klopp - that would be a homerun hire on the field and in the boardroom. But he just left Liverpool because we was burned out, and he's reportedly rebuffed U.S. Soccer's initial entreaties. So we look elsewhere. 

Look at this stud

For me, there are three names I'd like us to take a run at. The first one is a reach, but he did spend part of this summer in Montana, and he reportedly really loves America. He's also the all-time leader in Champions League trophies as a manager, and while he's never managed a national side, he did play for Italy for 10 years, including at the 1990 World Cup. I'm talking, of course, of the great Carlo Ancelotti, in the conversation for the best manager in history. The five-time Champions League winner has won everywhere he's coached, with league titles in England, Italy, Spain, France, and Germany to his name. If he's interested, he's a no-brainer.

And if he's not, I'd like U.S. Soccer to hire either LAFC's Steve Cherundolo or Columbus Crew's Wilfried Nancy. Neither are particularly sexy, and there will be those who are gun-shy about hiring another coach directly from MLS after Gregg Berhalter's mixed tenure. Cherundolo and Nancy have very different profiles than Berhalter, however. The former is arguably the best outside back to ever represent the U.S., and played and coached in the Bundesliga before coming back the America to take the LAFC job. In his first two years in Los Angeles, Cherundolo won an MLS Cup and lost in the final of another. This year, his third in L.A., the club has the best record in the Western Conference. He checks the boxes for me, having international experience and a winning background.

This is the way

Nancy played in the lower rungs of the French professional system before coming to North America to coach provincial sides in Quebec before joining the CF Montreal (then Montreal Impact) youth system in 2011. He joined the coaching staff of the MLS side in 2016 before being promoted to the head job in 2021. The long-time mediocre club finished a best-ever second in 2022, setting franchise records for wins and points (and an MLS record for road wins). Nancy left Montreal after the 2022 season, largely because owner Joey Saputo is a notoriously hot-headed dickbag.

He joined Columbus Crew next (which is the club Berhalter left to take the USMNT job), and proceeded to win MLS Cup by beating Cherundolo's LAFC in his first season at the helm in Ohio. His teams' playing style is proactive, flexible, and positive, all attributes that fit the American soccer mentality, and he's had immediate success at both of his professional stops.

U.S. Soccer's Matt Crocker has a lot of eyes on him as he makes the decision about the next manager for the national side. He's the same guy who flubbed the call to bring back Berhalter, so it's no stretch to say that this hire will determine the course of his career. He may be tempted to go for a known quantity. Wilfried Nancy won't move the needle in the public's mind, but he may well be the best bet for our 2026 hopes.

Geo, Gio, Let's Go USA!

Geopolitical intrigues are an inescapable element of global sporting events, and a World Cup awarded under highly questionable circumstances in a country with a poor human rights record during a time of wide-ranging dislocation has been predictably fraught. I'm here, eventually, to talk about the USMNT's must-win match tomorrow against Iran, but it's hard to do that without discussing context, some of which conspires to make the Iranians a sympathetic bunch, and ain't that something.

There's been plenty of reporting on the Qatari authorities' uneven (read: bullying) treatment of fans wearing things in support of LGBTQ+ and women's rights. I commend to you Grant Wahl's work, for one. As it pertains to Iran in particular, the team and fans have found themselves at odds with the nation's Supreme Leader and ruling council.

In September a 22 year-old Iranian woman named Mahsa Amini was detained by morality police for not wearing a headscarf in contravention of the law. She later died in a hospital in Tehran from injuries suffered at the hands of the authorities. Since then, a large number of Iranians have kept up a sustained show of protest in support of women's rights. More than 400 protestors, including 60 children, have been killed in the time since Amini's death.

The Iranian men's national soccer team has found themselves enmeshed in the protests. Prolific striker Sardar Azmoun posted the following on Instagram the week before the World Cup started, “The ultimate (punishment for speaking out) is to be kicked out of the national team, which is a small price to pay for even a single strand of Iranian women’s hair. Shame on you for easily killing the people and viva women of Iran. Long live Iranian women!”

Coincidentally, the announcement of coach Carlos Querioz's final roster for the tournament in Qatar was delayed by several hours before Azmoun's name was finally added. Iranian right-back Voria Ghafouri wasn't selected for the squad, and was arrested three days ago for his outspoken support of the protestors. The Iranian men stood silently rather than sing the country's national anthem before Team Melli's first match of the World Cup against England. Conspicuously amid reports of threats by the Iranian authorities, the team did sing the anthem prior to their win over Wales last Friday.

To complicate matters, American interests weighed in over the past few days in ways that certainly didn't help. First, former USMNT manager Jurgen Klinsmann came under fire from Queiroz for comments about the Iranian team's (and South American players, as well) gamesmanship and physicality. For what it's worth, I think folks are overreacting a bit, but I haven't walked in their shoes:

This is unbelievable…

Watch @J_Klinsmann dismiss brown athletes, from Iran to Guatemala, repeatedly saying “this is their culture”, while the host and other guests are sitting there listening to him go on and on, live on @BBCSport.pic.twitter.com/RgOR3b1sr0

— Negar Mortazavi نگار مرتضوی (@NegarMortazavi) November 26, 2022

Queiroz came out guns blazing, accusing Klinsmann of character assassination and demanding FIFA remove him from its Technical Study Group. Speaking of gamesmanship.

Then, someone at U.S. Soccer decided to post the Iranian flag sans the logo of the Islamic Republic as part of its social media header image (which included the flags of all of our group stage opponents) in support of the protests by the Iranian people. It appears that this move wasn't coordinated with the team (or the State Department, for that matter), and a small show of support turned into something that forced the U.S. players to answer questions of a hostile foreign media and gave Queiroz one more bit of bulletin board material. Ham-handed, at best. 

So as we finally turn to tomorrow's match, we find ourselves in the strange position of supporting the Iranian men and their courageous, if necessarily limited, stand against their nation's leadership while needing them to lose. After Team Melli beat Wales, 2-0, and the U.S. played England to a scoreless draw, Iran have one more point than the USMNT headed into the final match of the group stage. A draw will see Iran through. The USMNT must win. And that's a dangerous combination for a young team that hasn't shown an ability to score.

Give us Gioooooooo!

The match could go a couple of ways. Iran will almost certainly sit back, dare the U.S. to show it can break them down, and hope to take advantage of the U.S. pushing forward to hit us on the counter. If the match gets to halftime scoreless, Gregg Berhalter will have no choice but to throw on more attacking players, increasing the risk at the back end. If we're 0-0 at the half, I think we're in trouble.

On the other hand, the U.S. will press from the beginning. I expect (hope?) to see Gio Reyna in the starting lineup, even if that means we won't play a traditional striker so Reyna, Christian Pulisic, Tim Weah, and Yunus Musah can be on the field at the same time. If we get an early goal, that'll force Iran out of its shell and would likely mean we'll see a wide open game. I like our chances in that scenario - bar one rash challenge from Walker Zimmerman against Wales, the USMNT back line (with a monster assist from the indefatigable Tyler Adams) has been stout.

Very, very cautiously, I think we win, 2-0. Any other result is possible, and in fact I think the next most likely scoreline is 0-0. 

The last time we met Iran in a World Cup, the famously dysfunctional 1998 USMNT squad lost, 2-1, in France. Team Melli are fast, hard-nosed, and technical. This game is a crapshoot, with some of the off-field cards stacked against our youngsters. Will might matter more than skill tomorrow. 

I picked the wrong week to quit drinking. Though I did bring some gummies home from Boulder.

Baby Nats: Go Time

Eleven days from today, the U.S. Men's National Team ends an eight-year hiatus, opening their 2022 FIFA World Cup group stage play against Wales. Yesterday evening in front of a boisterous live crowd in Brooklyn, Gregg Berhalter and US Soccer unveiled the squad's 26-man roster. And today, you get a typically half-baked and self-centered G:TB view of the team and its prospects.

You can read or listen to a lot of well-informed takes on the squad's makeup online or via podcast. I get my straight soccer takes from Grant Wahl via his excellent Fùtbol with Grant Wahl podcast. He's the hardest working man in soccer journalism, and his newsletter is a bargain at $4/month if you're into footy. For what it's worth, I get my more colorful soccer viewpoints from Men in Blazers and The Week in the Tackle. And if you want a really well-executed six-part pod about the corruption surrounding this World Cup, I highly recommend the collaboration between MiB's Roger Bennett and Pod Save America's Tommy Vietor, entitled 'World Corrupt', available at fine purveyors of pod everywhere.

Those in the know say that Berhalter's selections included a handful of real surprises, highlighted by the decision to leave goalkeeper Zach Steffen off the roster entirely. Steffen started six of the 14 CONCACAF qualifying matches for the U.S., and was widely thought to be in a neck and neck competition with Matt Turner for the starting role in Qatar. The choice to leave both Ricardo Pepi and Jordan Pefok off the squad raised some eyebrows as well - both struggled in qualifying but have played well in recent club matches for Groningen (Dutch first division) and Union Berlin (Bundesliga) respectively. 

Tim Ream is 10th in the EPL in blocks and
11th in interceptions

Turning to home (which in this case means our own selfish interests), another surprise made me big happy. Tim Ream hadn't been part of the U.S. setup since mid-2021, and was widely expected to be left off the World Cup roster, despite playing very well for Fulham this Premier League season. Not only did he make the team, but there's a decent chance he'll start as the left center back in Berhalter's 4-3-3 lineup. If so, it only makes sense to pair him with Fulham teammate and left back Jedi Robinson, which would mean that 22% of the U.S. eleven against Wales would be Cottagers. Gimme some of that.

It's also possible that 22% of that starting lineup could be from Leeds United in the form of Brendan Aaronson and Tyler Adams. The latter is a nailed-on lock to start - he's been one of the Premier League's most impressive holding midfielders this season, second in the league in tackles, and fourth in combined tackles and interceptions. Notably, Aaronson is listed on the USMNT roster as a midfielder, rather than as a forward/wing where he's been slotted in the past. I'm hoping this means Berhalter plans to play him in a central box to box role, where his otherworldly energy and willingness to press could cause havoc for opponents who want to possess the ball.

Fly, you beautiful Canary

Another G:TB beneficiary of a surprising call-up is our man Z. Josh Sargent has been playing extremely well as a striker for Norwich City, scoring eight goals and dishing out a pair of assists in 18 matches. His form and experience playing in the very physical Championship division earned the Canary a role in Qatar.

In other G:TB connection news, right back DeAndre Yedlin used to play for Marls' Newcastle, center back Aaron Long currently toils for Red Bull New York, right in Dave's back yard (and Aaronson and Turner are both from New Jersey), and backup keeper Ethan Horvath hails from Highlands Ranch, CO, not too far from the late, lamented TR.

Berhalter's got some interesting choices to make as the team prepares to take on Wales on November 21 at 2:00 ET (amazingly, all three of the USMNT's group stage games are at 2:00 ET, which is the best possible time for American viewers off all the options - what are the odds?). For me, our best player is Gio Reyna (who might be the first son of an American World Cup player to play in a Cup for the USMNT - someone should look that up). Reyna is extremely talented, and has been very fragile over the past few years at Dortmund. If he's healthy, he gives Berhalter all kinds of good problems in terms of choosing a side. Weston McKennie's health is a potential issue as well, and possibly the reason Aaronson's listed as a midfielder.

You might notice that I haven't spilled much ink on Christian Pulisic, and that's a measure of how much the rest of the team has grown. The Chelsea man remains the most accomplished American soccer player of all time, but he's not as indispensable to the project as he once was. He hasn't been great in England this year, struggling for time under managers Thomas Tuchel and Graham Potter. In fact, I'm hoping he gets a transfer somewhere he can play. His recent form may mean that expectations are lower for him, and that reduced pressure could be a good thing.

If it were up to me (and who's to say it's not?), here's how we line up against Wales, from front to back:

Sargent

Pulisic                                            Reyna

Aaronson        Musah

Adams

Robinson            Ream            Zimmerman            Dest

Turner

This dude terrifies me a little bit

The Welsh will be physical, fast, and big in spots. They'll have Michael Sheen's oratory ringing in their ears and coursing through their veins. Sargent's accustomed to playing physical battles, as are Aaronson, Adams, Robinson, and Ream. Musah's extremely good on the ball and creative, with him, Reyna, and Dest as a gifted trio on the right side, I'd hope for really enjoyable interchanges and chances created. Robinson can fly up the wing on the left, as well.

The U.S. roster is the second-youngest we've ever fielded. We have by some margin the most talented team we've ever taken to the World Cup, and despite its youth, the team has a great deal of international experience. Five of the players in that starting lineup have played in the UEFA Champions League, and McKennie and Tim Weah make two more. Notably, of that eleven, only Zimmerman plays in MLS, and other than him and Sargent, every player competes in one of Europe's top divisions.

Our group in difficult, but not impossible. According to FIFA's rankings (which are, like many things FIFA, a bit sketchy), we're ranked 16. In our group, Wales is 19, England is 5, and Iran is 20. Crapshoot, it would seem. If you assume form holds and we lose to England, it's vital that the U.S. get a result against Wales.

I hope Michael Sheen sprains a vocal cord.

Come On You Yanks

Just one short month ago - a far more innocent time - we took a break from holding our hands over our eyes and practicing nuclear blast defense drills to celebrate soccer's ability to render grown men weepy.

That was just a prelude to the events of the past few days.

As qualifying for the 2018 World Cup draws to a close, national sides both legendary and little-regarded have clinched their berths in the 32-team competition. Their fans have celebrated appropriately.

In Alexandria, Liverpool striker Mohammed Salah scored a pair of goals to send Egypt to Russia, the first time since 1990 that the Pharoahs qualified for the finals. The broadcaster was...happy (the first 1:48 or so will give you the gist).



Iceland became the smallest nation ever to qualify for the World Cup finals, defeating Kosovo by a 2-0 score to win its UEFA qualifying group. 300,000 nordic revelers will wake up tomorrow with the mother of all hangover, and it'll be okay.

Most of them were here:



And those that weren't celebrated Viking-style with the team.



Manchester United midfielder Nemanja Matic has played in his share of big games, but the Serbian was overcome by emotion after his country qualified for their first World Cup since 2010 with a 1-0 victory over Georgia.

And much, much closer to home, the U.S. Men's National team put aside weeks of panicked commentary and punditariat hand-wringing in a stirring display, drilling visiting Panama by a 4-0 score that probably could've been 7-0. Or 7-3, given the several defensive lapses the visitors failed to bank. Christian Pulisic opened the scoring with a bit of skill rarely seen by American players, then added an assist on the second goal. It's already reasonable to argue that Pulisic might be the best American ever to play the game.



The Americans play tonight in Port of Spain against Trinidad and Tobago. A win guarantees our ninth consecutive trip to the World Cup finals. Barring some epic goalscoring binges by Honduras and/or Panama, a tie will be good enough, too. A loss against cellar-dwelling T&T would be both unthinkable and disastrous. So we won't think about it.

Some of the biggest teams in the world still haven't done all the work, and find themselves in the same place as the USMNT. Portugal and Italy will have to win a qualifying playoff to book their tickets, while the Netherlands are all but out. Tonight, Lionel Messi and Argentina currently sit in sixth place in CONMEBOL qualifying, where four teams automatically go through, and the fifth gets to drub New Zealand for the pleasure. The Albiceleste are tied with Peru on 25 points, only three behind second place Uruguay. Paraguay is only one point back with 24 points. Six teams are legitimately in the mix for the final four places.

But at least they're not Wales. Needing a win over rivals Ireland to clinch at least a UEFA playoff spot, the Christian Bale-less Welsh yielded a second-half goal to James McClean to fall, 1-0, and extend its World Cup finals drought to 60 years. The Welsh fans opened the match with an amazing rendition of their national anthem.



But in soccer, as in life, there are winners and losers. Yesterday, the Welsh finished out of the money. Here's hoping (praying) that tonight tells a different story for the red, white, and blue.

Underdogs, Rise Up

And a child shall lead them. We hope.

The U.S. Men's National Team is breathing slightly easier after grabbing seven points from a possible nine in its past three matches. Bruce Arena's boys have risen from dead last in the final stage of CONCACAF World Cup Qualifying to third - and three teams automatically qualify for the 2018 tournament in Russia.

The Americans aren't out of the woods just yet, but the panic that set in after consecutive losses to Mexico and Costa Rica to begin the Hex has subsided.

All of which makes this evening's roadie against Mexico in Estadio Azteca somewhat less nervy that it might be. Had the Yanks needed a result in Mexico City, it'd hard to be confident. Mexico is 19-1-2 all-time against the US in Mexico, having never lost in World Cup qualifying on home soil. We'd be thrilled with a draw against El Tri, but even that's a tall order.

But while we're all focused on the big one tonight, there's an even more compelling David vs. Goliath story unfolding in the U.S. Open Cup. On Tuesday night, MLS side D.C. United hosts pub-leaguers Christos FC, an amateur side from Baltimore, quite literally named for and sponsored by a liquor store.

Christos FC was founded in 1997 by a group of soccer-loving friends. The club competes in the Maryland Major Soccer league, and won last year's United States Adult Soccer Association Amateur Cup, which qualified it for the U.S. Open Cup, the national championship tournament.

After dispatching fourth-division Fredericksburg (VA) FC, 3-0, in the opening round, Christos FC figured to bow out against the USL's Richmond Kickers. But a 79th-minute goal by Baltimore Blast midfielder Geaton Caltabiano held up and send the upstarts to Chicago for a third-round match against Chicago FC. The team resorted to a GoFundMe campaign to cover travel costs to the Windy City, and only dressed 14 players.

And still, they won, topping Chicago by a 1-0 count.

So Tuesday at Maryland SoccerPlex in Boyds, Maryland, Christos FC - the last remaining amateur side in the tournament - takes on one of MLS' most storied clubs. DC United isn't having a great season, but they're still a full-time professional side. Christos is a decided underdog.

But they're not going to Mexico City. Viva Christos.

The Future is Awesome

In the 69th minute of last night's friendly between the U.S. Men's National Team and Bolivia, 25 year-old Darlington Nagbe laid off a perfect pass in the penalty area. 17 year-old Christian Pulisic calmly received the pass and slotted the ball into the lower corner of the Bolivian net. The goal made Pulisic the youngest American to ever score in full international play.

Pulisic was already the youngest foreign player to score a goal in the Bundesliga, and the youngest player of any nationality to score two goals in Germany's top league, where he plays for Borussia Dortmund. Nagbe led the Portland Timbers to the MLS Cup final last season, and is the kind of creative, attacking midfielder that the U.S. has been missing for several campaigns.

In that Nagbe to Pulisic goal, we saw a sign of things to come. Jurgen Klinsmann's squad still has a ton of questions in the run-up to the 2018 World Cup, but with youth comes optimism. And for a team that's lacked that promise for much of this cycle, that's one to grow on.

Lunch with Liberty

Good to see you, old friend. Miss us? That trench warfare sure was fun, right? And where's that thank you for us hooking you up with our boy Hoff? Thanks for the Scorpions, they are most righteous rockers. Maybe by the time today's game is over you can explain what the fuck this new movement is?

USA vs. Germany. Noon. Too many scenarios to explain in terms of result and advancement, so maybe this chart will assist you:

This is extremely helpful. RT @sbnation Here's every possible outcome for #USMNT and Group G. http://t.co/qSPDEgVCc6 pic.twitter.com/GvUeg8vp50
— Will Leitch (@williamfleitch) June 26, 2014

You know the drill by now...

Optimus Prime knows what's up

Even completely outdated MTV bits can get in on the fun

Not at all soccer related, but excellent work Minnesota State Fair. VERY 'murica

Gametime apparel

Patriotism

So, Mark (and now all of Twitter) informs me that the conditions for today's game might be a bit messy...

Flooding in Recife. Teddy Goalsevelt guiding our car through the tough waters. Onwards to the stadium! #LetsDoThis pic.twitter.com/lUEi5Rcxlf
— U.S. Soccer (@ussoccer) June 26, 2014

Kings of the Dive-berian Peninsula, amirite?

Hey, our men's national soccer team hits the pitch (futbol term!) today for a very important match (another one!), facing international playboy Cristiano Ronaldo and Portugal. The Portuguese were blitzkrieg'd in their first World Cup contest, 4-0 by Germany, while the fightin' fifes and drums triumphed over Ghana and their lack of giraffes, 2-1. If what the internet tells me is true, a win by the United States squadron advances 'Murica to the Round of 16, which would be like the tits, yo. *** OK, this now ends the soccer portion of our program...

Since I am 100% sure it was my GTB post that lifted Dempsey and Co. to victory in match #1, we're gonna ride that patriotic sucka back:

Stars and Stripes forevah

Shlara selection. Here, we see Clint Dempsey moments before murdering someone.

Patriotic handling of the meat

Here is Ronaldo flopping. It is not an uncommon occurrence, I am told.

The tie is a nice touch

*** I could be wrong. I don't actually pay attention to what I read.

#ibelieve

Heady days, boys and girls, less than a week away from the U.S. Men's National Team's 2014 World Cup opener against Ghana. While we're unlikely to be real contenders this year (even if advancing out of our very difficult group isn't as daunting as it might seem), the U.S. has definitely closed the gap on our global adversaries in the supporter chant category.

You may have caught this as it made its way around Twitter yesterday, but it's good enough that it deserves a second view. The American Outlaws, the preeminent group of U.S. soccer supporters, appropriated one of the more stirring sporting exhortations I've seen from the U.S. Naval Academy and made it the soundtrack of U.S. Soccer. Like all good things, it'll be overplayed into vuvuzelan oblivion over the next few weeks, but for now, with the anticipation at near-peak, it's damn near perfect.

I believe that we will win.

Fashion is Dumb: Tennis, Anyone?

Though you wouldn't know it by the sub-20 temperatures and five inches of snow outside my door (and counting), we're only four months away from the start of the 2014 World Cup. U.S. Soccer released the official home jersey for the U.S. Men's National Team this morning. It's this:

Nike has teams of designers who've done incredible things with fabrics, colors, and textures. Apparently, those people were busy on other projects, like LeBron's face mask. The team that designed this jersey appears to have spent about 15 minutes on it. My first reaction: "Jesus, that's boring as shit."

Could be worse, as a Deadspin commenter points out. We could've returned to the 1994 World Cup kit, an ungodly mishmash of denim, acid wash, and a child's imagination.

For what it's worth, there's a pretty cool history of USMNT jerseys from 1984 - 2010 here. We've put our boys in some dreadful shit over the years.

INSTANT UPDATE:

Here's a picture of the full kits. I like them a bit better in context, but I still don't love them. Of note, the guy with the flag over his shoulders is the founder of The American Outlaws, the leading U.S. Soccer supporter's organization. That's a pretty cool touch for U.S. Soccer.

Groups of Life and Death

In a matter of mere hours, soccer fans the world over will gather in salons both real and electronic to watch a bunch of old white guys pick names from a hat. Metaphorically, anyway - the production values for the 2014 World Cup Finals draw are likely to be pretty slick.

Sepp Blatter's Blue Balls

For a good breakdown of the mechanics of the draw, go here. For a very quickly rendered U.S.-centric version, keep reading.

The U.S. side heads into 2014 off of one of the better years in its history. Jurgen Klinsmann's squad won a national-record 16 matches in 2013, including a world-best 12 consecutive wins. The U.S. is ranked 14th in the world headed into today's draw.

It's highly unlikely that the U.S. will be as fortunate this cycle as it was in 2010, when fate smiled upon us, slotting the Americans with England, Algeria, and Slovenia and opening the door for advancement to the Round of 16. The 32-team 2014 Finals is loaded with quality sides. There's a scenario in which the U.S. is drawn with Brazil, the Netherlands, and Italy. Zoinks.

There's also a chance that the U.S. gets Switzerland, Algeria, and Boznia-Herzegovina. We'd be advised not to get our hopes up for that one.

For what it's worth (answer: nothing. nothing at all), this World Cup Draw Simulator just gave us Uruguay, Algeria, and France.

As Pro Soccer Talk notes in the link above, though, the U.S. is capable of beating just about anyone in the draw on any given day. In the last 18 months, we've knocked off Spain and Germany, albeit neither nation's full side. Best not to obsess too much about the draw - it's pretty likely rigged, anyway.

Viva Columbus

While we await the Doofus Overlord's opus on his trip deep into NASCAR country, a brief bit of outrage for you in advance of this evening's US/Mexico hexagonal qualifier.

U.S. defender Matt Besler was given a yellow card in Friday night's loss to Costa Rica, meaning that he's suspended for tonight's match. Skip ahead to the 5:38 mark in the video below to see what Besler did to earn the caution:



Joel Campbell, karma is a bitch. Watch your back.

Tonight's match kicks off at 8:00 from Columbus Crew Stadium. It's televised on ESPN. No excuse for a patriotic bunch like you not to watch it. With a win and a nearly-certain Honduras win or tie against Panama, the U.S. books its ticket to the World Cup.

America, The Beautiful Game

That Wheel of Fortune-inspired post title serves to jam together two thematically unrelated yet temporally linked events of interest to the G:TB community.

This morning, the Doofus Overlord and the Bride of Doofus Overlord walked from their place of employment to the Supreme Court to take in the sights and sounds. SCOTUS heard arguments this morning on the validity of California's Proposition 8, which bans gay marriage. Judging from their personal recollections and dispatches from others on the ground, it would be hard to find a gathering of two more polarized groups. From the Christian wingnut right to the Equality is Metal/Unicorn left (picture below), the breadth of human understanding was on full and vocal display.

Veteran SCOTUS observers seem to think that the Court may decide that the appellants
have no standing in the case, in which event the lower court's ruling overturning Proposition 8 will be upheld. This would have the effect of legalizing gay marriage in California, but permit the Court to stay mute on the broader Constitutional question. Punting, if you will. Chris Kluwe will not be amused, though Solicitor Ted Olson is on record as saying that such a result is a win for the pro-equality forces. This very clearly seems a case where the moral arc of the universe is bending towards justice.

Later, in today's other major America, Fuck Yeah news, the U.S. Men's National Team enters its traditional house of horrors to play Mexico in Mexico City's venerable Estadio Azteca. The U.S. has never, ever, not even once prevailed against El Tri in Azteca during World Cup qualifying, compiling a 0-13-1 record. In all, Mexico sports a 68-1-6 record in home qualifiers, losing only to Costa Rica in 2001.

To make matters worse, the U.S. catches an angry side this evening, after Mexico squandered a two-goal advantage in the final 14 minutes on Friday as Honduras escaped with a draw at home. After two matches, the Mexicans find themselves in the unfamiliar position of 4th in the CONCACAF table, while the U.S. sits in second on the strength of Friday's snowy 1-0 win over the Ticos.

Chicharito is a duck.

Further complicating things, the U.S. won't have Jermaine Jones or Tim Howard tonight, with both lost to injuries. Landon Donovan's still wandering on a peyote-fueled journey of discovery, as well, though Jozy Altidore's shown his best form as a national team member of late and Clint Dempsey remains a stalwart. The Jones injury may well be the biggest blow, as his yeoman midfield work was a key against Costa Rica. Coach Jurgen Klinsmann has never lost to Mexico, either with the U.S. or with Germany, but the odds are long tonight.

We'd be thrilled with a draw on the pitch. And, now that I think about it, we'd be pretty happy if the Supreme Court gave us the judicial equivalent when they rule in a few months.

Earth Crisis

Today's rightfully an occasion for somber reflection. It's also a chance to celebrate America in a more enthusiastic manner.

The U.S. Men's National Team takes on Jamaica in Cleveland tonight in the back end of a home and home series that has major implications on our qualification for the 2014 World Cup. The Reggae Boyz slotted a pair of free kicks against the run of play on Friday in Kingston to knock off the U.S. for the first time in history, 2-1. The win gives Jamaica the lead in the four-team CONCACAF semifinal group, with the U.S. tied with Guatemala for second and Antigua & Barbuda bringing up the rear. The top two teams in the group advance to final qualifying.

A loss this evening would give the U.S. absolutely no margin for error over the remainder of this stage. Jurgen Klinsmann's team has had very good results this year in friendly matches, beating Mexico on the road, and topping Italy, but the loss to Jamaica and a desultory tie against Guatemala are decidedly subpar outcomes. The USMNT faces a great deal of pressure tonight at a venue in which they've never lost, and will be without and injured Landon Donovan (big loss) and a card-suspended Clarence Goodson (less big).

ESPN2's got the match at 8:00 this evening. I expect you to be glued to your televisions.

UPDATE:

Because we care about what our fans think, a little equal opportunity.

Fashion is Dumb

It's both baseball week and squirrel week at G:TB (though, in truth, isn't every week squirrel week here). Naturally, we're short on both of those things. But we've got this:

Revel in the pure cheddar, the acid-washed, blown-dry, pegged brilliance of this photo, and ponder the fact that these clowns almost beat Brazil in the second round. Tab Ramos' nugget is probably still sore from Leonardo's Mutombo-like elbow.