World Cup Review: Week Three(ish)

In all the excitement of England's scintillating 3-2 win over Mexico last night, we lost track of the schedule. Ah, well. On to Cincinnati.

That excitement got to Harry Kane, who scored one, assisted one, and sang one. The latter as part of a team/crowd rendition of 'Wonderwall' which left Kane sounding like an excited Muppet in a post-match interview:

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Now that we're down to the final 12 teams in the tournament, we've lost some of our favorites. Goodbye, tequila-pounding Koreans, sayonara tidy Japanese, farewell dancing Oranje, festive Ghanaians, drunken Scots, and obrigado, mighty Brazil, for the color you brought to the proceedings.  

We'll miss Cabo Verde, too, for their fans and for the players' valiant efforts. Their overtime loss to Argentina means the Blue Sharks have to leave the tournament, but it also means they're the only participating nation in World Cup history to never have lost a match in regular time. Sidny Lopes Cabral's extra time equalizer will go down as one of the great goals of this event.

The players and staff will likely never have to buy a grogue at home ever again, judging by the welcome they received when they returned yesterday.

In a bit more prosaic news, the Aussies found Popeye's before they headed back Down Under.

They found Popeyes. 😭

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— I don't even know anymore. (@sdotcarter.bsky.social) June 25, 2026 at 8:27 AM

And finally, after an epic two-goal performance - some might call it Beowulfian - Erling Haaland led his Norge teammates and fans in their now-iconic row. Norway face England in the quarterfinals, and you'd be a right fool to count them out.

Special Gheorghasbord: World Cup Edition

We're 86 days away from the start of the 2026 World Cup, when Mexico hosts South Africa in Mexico City. Until that time, the organizers will no doubt be holding their collective breath, hoping no more ill-fitting Florsheims will drop. 

Meanwhile, the first (and I'm betting only) recipient of the FIFA Peace Prize is stumbling oafishly through one ill-conceived international crisis of choice after another. His pointless war with Iran may cost the tournament a participant, as the Iranians have made noises questioning whether they'll participate in the event. Says here they won't be the last country to consider withdrawal, and that more than one nation will have a difficult time securing visas for their athletes.

At the same time, America's global follies seem to be off-putting to fans of other nations, who aren't yet booking travel to the U.S. in predicted numbers. This is a shocking turn of events. Harry Carr, Pivot Hotels & Resorts’ senior vice president of commercial optimization, told Forbes, “We are much less bullish about World Cup than we were three months ago," adding that "FIFA sent back some of the company’s room-block holds without a single reservation having been made for the tournament."

Let's be clear about something. I loathe FIFA and its still-corrupt fuck you, pay me approach to the global game. I hate that our President and his toadies will likely try to wrap themselves around the flag while the World Cup take place here (and in Mexico and Canada). I won't be paying the extortionate prices for tickets to a live match. 

But I'll be watching all of it, goddammit. I'm a weak and predictable man.

And while I watch, I'll be enjoying the USMNT's kits. One of them, anyway.

The Athletic released an interesting piece yesterday about the design process for this year's kits. Seems the players were less than thrilled by 2022's fairly basic look and wanted a say. The athletes wanted something iconic, and they wanted something they could wear with jeans to the club. Seriously.

Fair to say Nike delivered on both counts. 

The home kit is uniquely American, with the stripes of the flag waving and offering a sense of motion. I assume (hope) they'll pair it with blue shorts and white or blue socks. It's distinctive, evocative, and even fun. 

On the other hand, the away kit is much more reserved. It's a deep, near-black Navy blue with metallic stars that'll be visible up close but hard to make out at a distance. The badge and the Nike logo are designed to blend into the shirt, as well. Hoping for white shorts and matching socks for this one, which I find just okay. It'd look good with a pair of light-wash jeans, though, and it seems to be the favorite of many of the players.

86 days. Let's hope we get there.