Netflix's "Arnold" miniseries describes Arnold Schwarzenegger's life in three one-hour segments detailing his experience as the world's best bodybuilder, the most famous actor in America, and a two-term governor of California. It also explains how a bunch of stuff I don't like came to be.
Like big watches. Wristwatches should be 34-40 mm in diameter and they used to be that size, in part because it's hard to make a small, accurate movement so a smaller watch means the movement has more craftsmanship. Arnold likes things to be big and he popularized way-too-big watches, like 55 mm Jacob & Co. monstrosities and 60 mm Panerai eyesores.
And big cars. Most Americans (probably including many of you readers!) have been tricked into believing that they need an SUV. You don't. The profit margin on SUVs is greater than on cars, especially the gargantuan seven-passenger SUVs, so car companies have Jedi mind-tricked you into them. The trunk in most seven-passenger SUVs is pathetically small, and the shape of them is often impractical (the floor is small but the walls are high so you have to stack your groceries). And five-passenger SUVs offer no benefit over station wagons--some people prefer the high "command seating" position but this also raises the center of gravity and sacrifices handling. Modern SUV proportions would make Malcolm Sayer weep. Many look like an SUV stacked on top of another SUV. Here's the rear end of an Escalade, for example.
Doesn't this look better?
It works from the side too.
Anyway, Arnold popularized the wildly oversized SUV when he convinced AM General to sell military-grade Hummers to the general public. According to Top Speed, "The pollution from the H1 was so severe that it was 25 times more polluting than the most pollutive automobile before it, the Chevrolet Impala." Great! Now he heads up the Schwarzenegger Climate Initiative, through which he touts his decades of environmentalism without even a hint of irony.
He also set the blueprint for politicians like Donald Trump.
Schwarzenegger's first foray into politics was a run for the highest office he could hold. He heavily leaned into his status as the most famous entertainer in the country. He overcame a story about his habit of groping women that broke on the eve of the election. The National Enquirer used a "catch and kill" approach to help cover up one of his affairs. He relied on "schmäh" which Schwarzenegger translated as "bullshit" and which Wikipedia says means "gimmick," "trick," "swindle" or "falsehood" in Austrian German. Oh, he was down with Nazis too. He normalized low character in politicians. Thanks Arnold!
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9 comments:
An interesting take, Z. I thought Arnold came off as utterly unlikeable in the doc. Its flavor is mostly “here’s how great I am” and “if you don’t like me you must be a loser.” It’s pretty much Hans and Franz de-parodied.
Lenny Kravitz’s mom is Roxie Roker (Helen Willis on The Jeffersons)???? His cousin is Al Roker???
This explains a lot.
I think his father was the show's producer too.
Arnold lacks self-awareness. He acts as if he became the world's best bodybuilder solely through hard work and ignores his genetic gifts (I will never look like that no matter how much I lift). He acts as if he's the first athlete to become an actor despite working with Wilt Chamberlain in Conan the Destroyer and ignoring guys like Johnny Weissmuller. He acts as if he's the first actor or athlete to become a politician despite Ronald Reagan and Jack Kemp. Jesse Ventura was an athlete, an actor and a politician AND he appeared in Predator with Arnold. He was tremendously successful in three different careers, much more so than I will ever be in one, but he isn't as unique as he thinks he is.
How would those hungarian pepperonis look on zman with arnold pecs? Pretty good, I'd bet.
In my first post college job, I served as a faculty advisor for HS students at the National Young Leaders Conference. When the kids would arrive, I'd ask if they could identify their member of congress, senators etc. I remember a kid from Minnesota who couldn't ID any of those, but he knew Jesse the Body was his governor.
I have not seen the doc, though I take umbrage with Z here. None of those other folks entered the country as non-english speaking immigrants at the age of 21. If he had accomplished just one of the aforementioned, it'd be pretty impressive if you sit back and think about it. In my book, he's the shiznit. And you forgot one - he married a Kennedy.
My WCSAGD car is the worst polluter?? Oh, not good...
Technically speaking, Arnold became Mr. Universe at age 20 before he came to the US. And directly led to acting which fed into politics.
I think Zman would surely concede that Arnold's accomplishments are impressive -- hell, just being Mr. Universe is. But when you wade through a 3-part documentary where the guy onscreen the whole time comes off as smugly self-satisfied and condescending to others rather than appreciative and grateful, I think that leads us viewers to start to look at those accomplishments under a stronger lens.
Just one girly man's take...
Danimal, I agree that Arnold is ridiculous. He won Mr. Olympia 6 times in a row, quit the sport to pursue other ventures, then said "fuck it" five years later and won it again. He was the highest paid actor in the world. He was the governor of the fifth largest economy on the planet behind only the US, China, Japan, and Germany. His accomplishments are preposterous. But it all begins with his insane genetics and crazy luck. There's a lot of hard work in there to be sure. Just watch the show and see how much you like him afterwards.
Whit, I think they were referring to the 1990s Impala sold when the Hummer came out. Everything from the 1960s and earlier is terrible for the environment.
Whom amongst hasn't said "fuck it" in regards to Mr. Olympia?
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