Thursday, October 15, 2020

Elon Really Wants Us to Buy a Tesla


I am not a Tesla guy. They look cool. They sound cool. Some models have a legit "ludicrous speed" function. Two neighbors of mine have them. They like them. I like the idea of EVs displacing ICEs (internal combustion engines, for you laymen and laywomen). And I like the idea of getting the far left's collective panties in a bunch by reminding them that cheap, abundant natural gas produced from hydraulic fracturing is the likely source fuel powering their car. But I don't have one. My primary car is a leased 2018 Jeep Cherokee. The lease is cheap (sub-$400/month), the technology is decent, and my primary need with that vehicle is to lug kids, sports gear, shrubs for the town mulch area and other detritus around my town. So I drive that. My wife drives the "nice" vehicle in my family. She keeps the inside in a shabby condition, which drives me nuts, but perhaps that is a post for another day. 

One day, I would like to have a toy vehicle. Maybe a three-wheeled motorcycle or one of those fun looking dunebuggy-type vehicles you can take on the road. 

But maybe a Tesla would work too. And Elon Musk sure knows how to whet my appetite. Tesla announced on Tuesday that it was lowering the price of its Model S "Long Range" sedan to $71,990. But Mr. Musk announced another cut last night (a mere one day later!), bringing the price below $70,000. 

The exact price, you may ask? $69,420. Those numeric strings sound familiar to anybody around here? Elon Musk and his "I'm worth $90B, people love my car and I have no fucks to give" attitude are on full display here. 

If you buy your car and then want to show your Tesla pride, feel free to buy some red satin shorts with a Tesla logo. They're nice for the ladies in your life. The shorts sell for...wait for it...$69.420. Honest to God. Take a look here if you want. 

19 comments:

Whitney said...

Another W&M national news article:

https://www.forbes.com/sites/karenweaver/2020/10/14/can-the-faculty-save-olympic-sports-we-might-just-have-our-test-case/

rootsminer said...

That's such a sick price, bruh.

My wife is making rumblings about getting a new Subaru now that our oldest is finally getting comfortable with the idea of driving. It sounds like she takes care of her current car in a similar manner to Tiara. I'm torn between taking advantage of attractive financing options for new cars and finding a good used car.

rob said...

on the one hand, i laughed, because juvenilia still makes me laugh. on the other hand, juvenile male dipshittery ain't a great leadership trait, and is probably one of the root causes of our current fuckage. i'm glad i have an outlet here for my immaturity.

Anonymous said...

My dad got a Model S a few years back. He hasn't let me drive it yet. He let my daughter, who was 17 at the time, drive him around very briefly in it. It seems like a toy.

zman said...

As is often the case, TR is correct: lots of electricity comes from burning hydrocarbons like natural gas or coal so all those Teslae aren't really helping the environment too much, and the wealthy vegans driving them hate it when you remind them. So of course I love it.

Teslae are also impractical. Their range is short, charging locations are limited, and it takes a while to charge them. Their motors generate negligible heat, unlike internal combustion engines, so if you want to warm your buddy's feet in the winter you have to use the battery to do it and thus shorten your range. But they're quick and that's cool.

A weird dude in our neighborhood bought one and his wife wasn't prepared for all that thrust (this guy definitely isn't thrusting much) so she ended up taking it off-road after jumping a curb. The Model S was not designed for froading so there was some not insignificant damage to the undercarriage.

rootsminer said...

I once slightly damaged the underside of a 911 with too much thrust.

When I visited Portland, OR I saw a Tesla with customized plate : TY ELON.

Whitney said...

I enjoy Zman’s leveraging of “warm your buddy’s feet” quite a bit.

zman said...

I was going to bid $6900 on Lew's Landy but the auction got ahead of me and I don't have the minerals to go to $16,900.

zman said...

This isn't Squeaky's car but it's close and it has one of the coolest non-gated shifters ever.

https://bringatrailer.com/listing/2007-volvo-v-70-r/

T.J. said...

I enjoyed this part of the short shorts description: "Run like the wind or entertain like Liberace with our red satin and gold trim design."

TR said...

I downloaded the Reface app today. All my family’s personal data is probably being uploaded to a server in Beijing, but it’s a fun time-waster.

TR said...

No Thursday night football!? What is this shit?

Danimal said...

Anyone watching the town hall?

rob said...

which one?

rob said...

i'm flipping between two baseball games and two town halls. it's amazing how much trump hates being questioned by a woman. biden's going all wonky, which isn't scintillating television, but it's such a contrast with his opponent.

TR said...

19 days until this is all over. Or 1,480.

Danimal said...

Flipping between the two and now watching Big Brother.

TR said...

Anybody else know that Edwin Encarnacion has 424 career HRs? That is much higher than I would have guessed.

Whitney said...

Trump says the Bin Laden killing was a hoax? Okay now.

I want some ideas from the Gheorgherati as to what amazing whoppers he will tell between now and Nov 3. There is quite literally nothing off the table.

Here’s a tame one: someone in his administration is going to die from COVID-related illness. Trump will then have Barr press charges against Joe Biden, claiming his team murdered the person and made it look like COVID to discredit him.