I was saddened to hear last week of the passing of Joseph Laurinaitis, one half of the legendary wrestling tag team The Road Warriors, at the age of 60. The Road Warriors were my heroes as a kid. I was too young to know the tag team's moniker was an easy/lazy grab from the Mad Max franchise. And I was too young to know any other Black Sabbath song than the Warriors' original intro - Iron Man. But I was old enough to know their makeup kicked ass, their brutal domination of opponents kicked ass, and the song Iron Man kicked ass. They were the trailblazing antiheroes, paving the road for future wrestling stars like Steve Austin.
My folks got divorced when I was in 4th grade. It was, like many divorces, long and messy. I would spend most weekends at my old man's apartment, and he would often leave me home alone to go out and do whatever guys in their early 40's do on Saturday nights when they are newly single. Fridays were for sons and Saturdays were for dates, I guess. When I was home alone, I think I was looking for an escape on the telly. At this time, we had basic cable. Sports was always something I gravitated to, but I started falling in love with pro wrestling. The WWF aired multiple times a week. The NWA aired on TBS late on Saturday afternoons. WCCW wrestling aired late Saturday night. And the AWA aired in the late mornings on Saturdays. It was through the AWA, a regional network based in/around the Twin Cities area, that I became acquainted with the Road Warriors. In retrospect, their schtick appears crude, but it was a shot of pre-pubescent adrenaline for me when I first saw them. I was hooked and they were my dudes.
Here's where we get to the weird part. When they came to the ring, they used to be announced at 567 pounds. I loved that number b/c it decomposed nicely. It was 3 to the 4th power times 7. That's the first thing you all thought, right? I was happy their weight was not a prime number. I hate prime numbers. Except when I microwave things. I only microwave things with prime number times. Anyway, I would spend a lot of time dissecting that weight in my head. Animal was the power guy and Hawk was the speed guy in that duo, so Animal probably weighed more, right? Maybe he was 294 and Hawk was 273. Or maybe he was 287 and Hawk was 280. I never used a prime number for either wrestler's weight in my head. Both had to be divisible by 7 or by 3. So 288 and 279 was possible, but not 290 and 277 or 295 and 272. Get it? Me neither. But that's how it had to be in my head.
In the days of my youth, before my brain was occupied by thoughts of boobies and beer, numbers spun around in my head. I couldn't really control it. The fact that the Road Warriors' announced weight (which probably wasn't accurate in the first place) was a fun number to decompose made me like them even more. Yeah, I know that's weird. But I was home alone quite a bit and this was all soothing to me as I parked in front of the television.
The Road Warriors had a fantastic run and are arguably the greatest tag team of all time, even if their peak was cut short by the typical issues facing wrestlers from that era (injuries, partying, erratic behavior, contractual disputes). They tore up regional circuits from 1983-1990, and then joined the WWF from 1990-1992. Their WWF run proved to be disappointing and each member kicked around for another 10+ years before finally retiring.
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Trump tested positive.
I knew you liked numbers and math generally but I didn't realize you only like prime numbers when you cook food. I used to work with a woman who was obsessed with prime numbers. Truly obsessed. She made small talk about prime numbers, stuff like "When I made partner I insisted on taking office 3209, it's a prime number you know." She went to MIT and I didn't so she assumed that I was too stupid to know how to figure out if a number is prime (I told her "Just take the square root and divide every whole number from there into the number, I'm not as dumb as I look"). Once she said "I want to change my extension to 3119 because it's a prime number and it's available but facilities won't let me" and I quipped back "It would be cooler if you took 3169."
The middle three digits of my phone number is a prime number and it KILLS me. Each portion of my SS# is divisible by 6, which I love. Not divisible by 9 though.
i love this glimpse into tr's mind. makes me feel a little less weird. for as long as i can remember, i've spelled and pronounced words backwards in my head. or sdrawkcab ni ym daeh, as it were. it's a fun little mind game/psychosis.
to the previous thread, my wife is convinced trump's covid diagnosis is a hoax designed to move the discussion away from the myriad ways in which he's fucked up. i wouldn't put it past them.
I appreciate TR popping into the previous post comments to let us know there was a new, and quite wonderful, post up.
I woke up to this news and it's been a fruitful morning for this guy on the ol' twitter machine.
I like the numbers thing. And I'm with Samantha (figuritively), maybe Joe needs to quarantine and not get to out to states he needs to since clearly tRump was spewing on him?
In the days of my youth I was told what it was to be a man.
I was a huge wrestling mark in the mid 80's/early 90's, and I was generally agnostic regarding the wrestling outfit. I always liked the high-fliers like Steamboat, Superfly Snuka (his cage fights with Don Morocco are legendary) and Flyin Brian Pillman. Not technically a high flier, but Bam Bam Bigelow was a freaking revelation when he came on the scene for the things he could with his size/shape. I always wanted to get his outfit in pajama form (still do).
For some reason, I always liked the tag teams. Something about the combination moves and the high five to alternate the wrestlers really got my adrenaline flowing. And there was a reliable model deployed by several of the two-man teams: have one big barrel of a guy, and one lighter/more aerial guy. Road Warriors may have perfected that, though each had a little bit of the other's characteristics. The Hart Foundation (Jim the Anvil & Hitman) was another classic example. I'm not sure whether this adds to or detracts from my credibility, but I always loved the Killer Bees, who didn't really follow the model. I was enticed back into wrestling briefly in the early 00's by the Hardy's and Dudley's, and I don't regret it.
On the Trump news: Marls eloquently bottom-lined the general state of media a few weeks ago (regardless of the side of the aisle you're on), but reading the comments section of a Fox News article on this story is probably the closest sensation I'll ever get to visiting another planet. Lots of "there's no scientific evidence that masks stop you from getting COVID" and "my grandmother wore a mask 24-7 and still got it." It boggles the mind that we are half a year into everyone - news outlets, scientists, members of the Task Force, and ultimately Trump in a more milktoast way - stumping for advisability of masks and some still miss the point; it's not about not catching it, it's about not spreading it.
I eagerly await Hugh Hewitt's well-sorted thinkpiece congratulating Trump on his brave and canny decision to allow the virus to infect him in solidarity with millions of other Americans.
reupping squeaky's message about the 'good music to avert the collapse of american democracy, vol. 2' compilation available today and only today:
https://goodmusic2020.bandcamp.com/album/good-music-to-avert-the-collapse-of-american-democracy-volume-2
The Saints have a wide receiver named Lil'Jordan Humphrey?
The prime numbers things is amazing, TR. I liked numbers growing up but never to that level.
Revisiting Whit's list of music documentaries, I don't know if these were on the list but you all don't have to slog through these two:
Drivin' N' Cryin' - Scarred But Smarter: Life N Times Of Drivin' N' Cryin' - Somehow this has 4.5 stars on Amazon. It's your typically story how dysfunctional a band was from the eyes of the leader of the band. Nothing of substance. Did send me down the rabbit hole of playing this album all last weekend. 2 out of 5 clicks. It also jogged my memory of seeing them in a small bar (located in a strip mall?) somewhere near Norfolk with maybe one or two of you. After the show there might have a been a fight outside.
Every Everything: The Music, Life & Times of Grant Hart - This is a passive aggressive documentary from the forgotten other half of the band. Grant wrote and sung about half the songs but really he is seen as a footnote in the history of the band due to the success/continual output of the other half of that songwriter and singer duo, Bob Mould. This one has some interesting insights like Grant did all the artwork for all the albums, which is probably only interesting to me. So unless you like Husker Du it's not worth your energy. 2.5 out 5 clicks.
we saw drivin n cryin at the boathouse, squeak
This is a fascinating look into the demented mind of TR. I wanted to be mad that it bumped my beautiful VW bus from the top of the blog, but I can't.
I can't see how this morning's big news can be a positive for Donnie. It may help some of his diehards consider wearing a mask. Yesterday I took my youngest to the chiropractor. He was #3 in line, and two people came in behind us. One of those knew the guy getting off the table, and they apparently hadn't seen each other for some time.
What did these fuckers do? They sat down next to each other to catch up and took their masks off. Apparently they get in the way when you need to discuss the educational efficacy of the various christian schools in the area.
TR and I once had an (inebriated) conversation about how when we're walking on a sidewalk, we count the number of steps we take without stepping on a crack. I usually take 3, 5, or 7 steps. Tim was appalled (primes!), I think he goes in perfect squares or cubes.
You dudes are weird.
Another number game I have (yes, I have several) regards the number value of letters. You total the value of letters for a word/phrase and then break them into two groups: one that is 2/3 of the total value and one that is 1/3. A=1, B=2, Z=26, etc.
Rootsminer has a total value of 146. Can’t divide that by 3, so you’d have to lump the o/o/s to get to 49. I have spent the majority of my time at boring meetings doing this. Or thinking about boobies.
W&M AD doing the “we’ll be better going forward, but there’s nothing to see here so let’s move on” routine. That ain’t gonna work, Sammy.
https://tribeathletics.com/news/2020/10/2/general-a-shared-path-forward-for-athletics.aspx?utm_source=wm_weekly&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=oct_2_2020
Melania got COVID from who knows where and Trump wants us to think he’s sleeping with her so he copped to it phony style.
Also, there’s the logic that whatever Trump says is a lie, so he ain’t got it.
We need a post of TR's number games.
And Coby's reindeer games.
As expected, Other Half DDH Double Citra Daydream does not disappoint.
I'm making sauerbraten tonight but I forgot to pick up spaetzel. Dagger.
When they say they are moving Trump to Walter Reed “out of an abundance of caution,” that’s horseshit, right?
Does Don Jr know he doesn’t get to take over?
Kevin Kline actually gets to take over. It's true. I saw it in a movie.
Too sick to tweet.
He’s got to be, right? He NEVER goes this long without tweeting. Much less when he’s in the news to this degree.
Number game I always liked to play was taking a many digit number like a telephone number or SSI or even a bus number and using the four basic mathematical functions to get to zero.
Dwight Howard winning a title in Orlando is pretty funny. Maybe not to Magic fans.
American Murder: Family Next Door is fucking heavy.
Tonight’s SNL - will it be the most watched SNL since the 3 network days?
So much to unpack and inform on here, including the fact that I wore my Drivin N Cryin T for the first time in over a year last night to bed. Weird.
Also, am in Va where I have spent the majority of my last 6 weeks helping to take care of my dad, Ed, who died in his sleep shortly after midnight this morning, Have begun more than a couple times to write a post. But can’t yet. Mom, in hospice care herself, doing ok, but God Damn let this year end already.
I'm sorry Dan.
Thanks Z. Sorry for the thread kill. Carry on bc it is a good one.
Interesting take from Whit, and others I see in the tweeter, on the possibility of this being b.s. Refsrdless, someone needs to put together a book of the best covid/trump tweets when this is over. Can’t get enough.
That’s heavy stuff, Dan. Sorry to hear this news. Take solace in knowing they saw you grow up and build a great family of your own.
No thread kill at all, Dan. We’re a weird internet family but we’re still a family. All the love to you and yours. I don’t pray often but you’ll be in my prayers tonight.
So very sorry. May your family give support to each other through the memories you share during this sad time! Prayers, too, with your mom being ill. That’s a lot at once.
Aww, I’m sorry Dan. I wish you and your family peace and a lifetime of great memories of Ed.
Just saw TR’s comment on Dwight. The magic are a shit franchise but we’re not pining for Dwight Howard. He remains a clown.
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