On Monday night, a group of obviously knowledgeable and motivated thieves snuck onto the property of Firefly Hill Vineyards and harvested nearly 2 1/2 tons of grapes growing on vines over 3 1/2 acres. Zoinks.
To be serious for a moment, if it weren't such an amazingly shitty thing to do to hard-working vintners who've invested their lives in their business, this would be a remarkable caper. The harvesting process usually takes several days - the group of thieves accomplished it between dusk and dawn and escaped with their loot.
According to co-owner Allison Dunkenberger, the stolen grapes were worth $20 - $25,000, and the company's insurance will not cover the loss, nor the loss of income from the wine that was to be made from them. Her husband David minced precisely none of his words in a statement the vineyard released, saying "To the pieces of cowardly, human scum that came in the night and stole the grapes from my vines. I want to thank you for proving our society has hit rock bottom. May you die a slow and agonizingly painful death so that when you are writhing in pain someone will be kind enough to offer you a drink of wine so you know for what you suffer.”
The Dunkenbergers have been in business since 2007, and it's a family affair. We'll keep our eyes out for the grapes, but even more importantly, we'll be looking for their wine. It's a small gesture, undoubtedly.
People suck sometimes, man.
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51 comments:
How does one fence 5000 pounds of stolen grapes?
You sell it on the dark web
That is fucked up. And why doesn't insurance cover this? Where's Phil Connors when you need him?
Tr....It's too late but I did like Vandy getting 14. And it is a homer bet but I say the Jags beat the Pats to tomorrow. Pats were -1 yesterday.
you sell it to grape ape
Nice fan hedge there, Danimal. Irish looking good early.
Terps were a dumpster fire.
Vandy getting 5 in half #2. I like that. BK will do what he has to do to maintain and nothing more. This game closer than the stats show.
D man w first flag game tonight. Giving Under Armour “Under the Lights”league a shot this year. Sat night games for about 6weeks...should keep me out of trouble.
that's what they make solo cups for, danimal
heartbreaking to see florida state suffer so
I’ll leave the insurance commentary to Marls but I wouldn’t expect insurance to cover their expected profits. I would expect insurance to cover the grapes in the event of arson or some other damage. I doubt they have theft insurance for their grapes.
Smart words from a man who had his grapes stolen for a few years.
Nice win for BYU.
Holy shit the Swamp was hot today. I drank a gallon of water and I’m still dehydrated.
tr just low key took a shot at zman. i approve.
much excite for lsu. hurts to see auburn fans unhappy.
Didn’t feel very low key to me.
Some pretty nice kits tonight for TCU.
I was making fun of Zed, not Rob.
Would love to see TCU’s D keep this close b/c their O looks fast.
A neighbor I don’t particularly like is having a party. Tempted to call 5-0 on him out of spite, but I think it’s bad karma.
Nothing Burns like the Cold on the new iPhone commercial. Strong choice.
Definitely bad juju. And yes, I could tell you were going after Z. Fuck that guy...
alabama is stupid good. boringly good, almost.
speaking of stupid, the 500th goal of zlatan's senior career is plaid.
Lemme know if you want me to call them Tr.
Alabama is a fucking cheat code with Tua. They’ve finally unlocked the last level. It’s obscene.
We are all Horned Frogs tonight.
In the span of about 3 min tcu goes from looking pretty good to getting blown out. Not sure I’ve ever seen anything like this.
Possibly getting blown out.
20 pts in 4 min
This is fun.
27;pats in 5 min between the two
Pts. I need my readers.
My grapes turned to raisins for a while there.
Luckily I avoided having them stomped into wine.
It must be the most humid day here of the year if not the last decade. Sitting in shade on my "lanai" sweating my man parts off. Still smokin ribs tho. Gonna go work up a swampesque sweat with a run followed by a beer. Screw you Tom Brady. Today it definitely ends. Possibly. Doubtful but ya never know.
I want this win more bc of obnoxious neighbors and friends whose roots are in NE than I do for my disdain of the org.
This is a weird story. I was busily prepping my basement to flood yesterday, so I missed that it made GTB. Glad zgrapes are still intact after TR's brutal attack!
Boomer Esiason’s stylist owes him an apology.
How ‘bout Shawn Rhoden unseating Phil Heath as Mr. Olympia last night? Crazy upset, right?
unseasonably hot and humid here in jersey too. i'm 2/3 of the way through my sunday soccer triathlon: played pick-up for 90 minutes this morning on the turf, watched my son ian and his buddy ben play for their higher level club team-- they won their state cup game 4 -0-- and now i'm off to coach the mid-level town travel team. if someone would let me commentate on a game then i'd hit for the soccer cycle. this schedule is making it easy to execute my nonviolent resistance to the NFL.
I refuse to accept this Magnum PI reboot. Some things are too sacred to be treated like a commodity.
I'm wearing some magnum pi length shorts, just waiting on the basement to flood. That's as close to reboot of it as I care to be.
Hey, turns out the Redskins suck for pretty much the 35th time in 35 years. Sweet.
I don't watch a lot of football, so I'm not sure what prompted this, but Vontae Davis retired at halftime of the Bills game?
It’s a very Billsy turn of events.
Z, your Bills look just awful. Sorry, man. I don’t know if it’s better or worse that I thought my team was good for 7 days.
Nice win for the Jags.
Fitzpatrick for MVP.
How is Rootsy? Dry I do hope.
It's ok, I'm used to it at this point. I won't be surprised if they get the #1 pick, which they won't use on a QB because they just reached for one in the draft. But I'm used to that too.
What I'm not used to is the fact that when I asked zdaughter to clean up a mess she made in the family room, she went off on a tirade in which she asserted "You're not the boss of me!" She is four (4) years old. I do not look forward to the next fourteen years of my life. TR, please don't make any Eddie from Torrance jokes.
does vontae davis have to give back his signing bonus if he retires? 'cause if so, i'm guessing retirement won't suit him all that well.
I assume he does. I also assume he will un-retire in a few months, by next year at the latest, and sign with a team that isn't a dumpster fire.
I’m with Z on this. Vontae is down to rest up and take some time off and sign one more decent contract with a team better and in a more attractive location than the Bills. Not a terrible plan.
Is there any chance Trump avoids making an ignorant Christine Blasey Ford tweet? This is catnip for his ignorant head, right? It’s a woman who dares interfere w/ his “ruling” of the Kavanaugh appointment. He must be dying to pounce on this.
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