The Twelve Days of Gheorghemas: Day 4

On the fourth day of Gheorghemas, big Gheorghe gave to me:

Four legal mic drops 
Three woodland animals and a cool little otter
Two names
A fat guy in a jer-sey

Gheorghe: The Blog makes no apology for our historical focus on whimsy and our generally self-serving editorial output. But lurking below the surface mix of filler, inaccuracy, and navel gazing is a consistent thread of  professional and personal expertise. Put more simply, one of my favorite things about being a part of the G:TB community is the fact that I learn things on a regular basis.

In recognition of that, a big Gheorghemas huzzah (the official G:TB exclamation of the season, along with 'Hi, Gheorghies!') to zman, who staked his claim in 2013 as the internet's leading authority on the intersection of rap and the law.

To be sure, Z'd done good work on this topic previously, raising awareness of Jack Urbont's legal beef with Dennis Coles (d/b/a Ghostface Killah). But his efforts this year cemented his place in Super Lawyers' list of the industry's top purveyors of legal wisdom. (Don't bother searching for him, though, his modesty requires that his name not be included - he's a bit like a superhero in that way.)


Method Man - The Turn by mastho50

After spending the first part of the year focused on legal issues unrelated to rap (and automobile porn), Z turned his considerable analytical acumen back to dropping science in July. In the first of several cases involving the Beastie Boys (who seem to be the target and instigator of quite a bit of litigation - news for crews who'll be sucking like a leech, I suppose), Z noted the dichotomy between Judge Paul A. Englemayer's incredibly distinguished resume and his complete lack of understanding of the rap game:

Monster asserts the defense that "Hey, we thought it was ok to bust the Beasties' loops, Z-Trip said it was dope."

Honestly. That's what they told Judge Engelmayer. More specifically, they told Judge Englemayer that "Mr. Sciacca said 'you can use the music on my website.' That was a separate contract, [then Monster asked] do you approve? And he wrote back, 'it's dope.'"

At which point the learned judge said "It's dope?"

Z-Trip's lawyer explained “It’s dope means it’s good. He says, ‘well they showed me this video and yeah, it looks good. They say ‘oh, that gives us permission to use all this music.' But there’s no contract between my client and the Beastie Boys.”

To which Judge Engelmayer replied, “I take it on a summary judgment motion that I have to treat ‘dope’ in the light most favorable to your client." I'm not sure if His Honor realized how funny that quip is. You probably don't either, particularly if you didn't take civil procedure. But trust me when I say it's a hoot.

The persistent Mr. Urbont reappeared in the pages of G:TB in August, as Z chronicled the latest in the ongoing legal saga. In a noteworthy programming update, discovery for the case is scheduled for completion in February 2014. We eagerly anticipate Z's pre-trial analysis.

Judge Alison Nathan stands in sharp contrast to the aforementioned Judge Engelmayer, in rap-world knowledge, though not professional achievement. Z praised her skillz in September, acknowledging both her definition of 'MC' in a footnote, and her obvious affinity for G:TB. (As an aside, as courts across the U.S. have increasingly cited online materials in their opinions, the challenge of 'linkrot' has arisen. For this reason, we'll have to keep G:TB alive in perpetuity, as it seems next to certain that Judge Nathan will cite Zman's work in relatively short order.)

Finally, just a few weeks ago, Z weighed in on yet another Beastie Boys-related legal matter, siding with the makers of Goldieblox in their minor kerfuffle over the fair use of the former's 'Girls' in an advertising campaign. Notes Z on the band's standing policy of not licensing its music for commercial purposes, "While I respect that position, MCA's will doesn't override our copyright laws." (That right there may well be the legal reasoning cited by Judge Nathan at some point.) That Z applied legal principles in a way that supports Goldieblox over the legendary rappers on serves to strengthen his position as a neutral arbiter of legal flow.

Beyond issues of the law and rhyme-spitting, Z also weighed in on judicial misconduct, the Redskins' trademark, and Congressional claims of court-packing this year, a banner annum for legal productivity. (Here, anyway. I guess he ought not submit this post as a part of his performance review.)

As Method Man might say on the occasion of this, the 20th anniversary of 'Enter the Wu-Tang (36 Chambers)', "Respect when a grown man is speaking".

zman Bouillabaise

This is the first in what will likely be a series of one post about a few random things in bite-sized format. I've been meaning to write these up as individual posts but haven't been able to because:

1. I fucked up my writing hand, that's my check.

I wrote about my wrist injury previously and TR suggested I post some post-surgery photos. Here's the final layer of bandages covering my bloody gash. TR's reaction: "Ew, hairy arms."

And here's the gash itself without stitches. The puckering is especially choice. So I have a puckered gash.

Finally, here's the screw that went into my gash.

The Ghostface reference to my fucked up writing hand brings me to:

2. Ghostface doesn't pay his legal bills.

It's been a while since I updated you on Ghostface's copyright issues. It doesn't seem like much happened substantively, probably because Ghostdini doesn't pay his legal bills. His lawyer (he of the AOL email address) moved to withdraw from representing Pretty Tone because The Kid hasn't paid for any of the work done to date. The judge complied so the Wallabee Champ doesn't have representation at the moment, at least not that I know of. 10-4 good buddy Tone got his RFP's up!

Speaking of rap-related legal disputes ...

3. Judge Englemayer plays his trill card, dismisses Z-Trip from Beastie Boys v. Monster Energy.

Judge Englemayer must've read a bunch of old GTB comments because he quoted me ... quoting the Beastie Boys. And he did so while granting Z-Trip's motion for summary judgment in the complaint brought against him by Monster Energy. His Honor concluded that "[i]n musical terms, Z-Trip can now, therefore, rest at least 'as cool as a cucumber in a bowl of hot sauce,' because Monster's Third-Part Complaint against him has 'got the rhyme and reason but no cause.' Beastie Boys, So Watcha Want (Capitol Records 1992)."



On the subject of trill and law enforcement ...

4. True Detective ended like that?

All that metaphysical psychedelic mumbo-jumbo ended like that? For real dough?!? That's not at all what I expected.

But you know what I did expect ...

5. Tribe hoops breaks your heart again.

You shouldn't let it. Yes, I have a somewhat irrational disdain for all things W&M, but there's something cool about never making the NCAA tournament. First and foremost W&M is an academic school whose athletes are students first and foremost. No one in the history of sports has attended W&M in order to boost their likelihood of becoming a pro athlete. W&M's inability to win a conference championship highlights its academic focus. And as soon as they make the tournament once they're in the same company as Houston Baptist and Prairie View. If Charlie Brown ever kicked the football he'd just be a baldheaded kid who never changes his shirt. Marls jokes aside, no one wants to be that guy?

And while we're talking Tribe,

6. I finally saw the Tribe Called Quest documentary.

It's fantastic, a must-see if you love Tribe, Native Tongues, 90's NY hiphop,or if you ever suffered through the experience of living with me. If none of the foregoing apply to you, the first half of the movie will establish why I've been continuously pumping their music for over 20 years.

Dope Little Lawsuit

You can always spot hardcore fans of the Beastie Boys because they know all rarities and oddball joints like "Dope Little Song" which was released on "Ill Communication" but only in Japan, and as the B-side to the Sabotage/Get It Together single.



I would bet everything I own that The Hon. Paul A. Engelmayer is not familiar with "Dope Little Song." Judge Engelmayer is a District Judge on the United States District Court for the Southern District of New York. According to his Wikipedia page, he graduated summa cum laude from Harvard College and magna cum laude from Harvard Law School. He then clerked for the Court of Appeals for the District of Columbia Circuit and followed that up with a SCOTUS clerkship for Justice Thurgood Marshall. He went on to be an AUSA and an assistant to the Solicitor General. Eventually he headed up the New York office of a fancy law firm, and was nominated to SDNY by President Obama in 2011. The Senate approved his nomination 98-0.

In legal circles, this is about as prestigious as a resume can get. The closest comparable is Chief Justice John Roberts who slightly trumps Judge Engelmayer because he was Principal Deputy Solicitor General at one point and his first bench assignment was an appellate court. But don't be surprised if someday you see Judge Engelmayer's name on short lists for higher posts. Hopefully these posts will not involve slang literacy.

I say this because Judge Engelmayer is assigned to the case of Beastie Boys v. Monster Energy Corp. The complaint is interesting for a few reasons, the most charming of which is the discovery that the Beastie Boys operate as a New York Partnership:

I use the word charming because a partnership in New York does not require any special filings with the state or even a contract between the partners. A partnership is simply two or more persons carrying on as co-owners of a business for profit. The partners owe each other a duty of loyalty. Of course there are ways to formalize a partnership or to limit liability, but these three bad brothers you know so well didn't do that. Trust me, I looked. Instead, they've been carrying on together as partners for over 30 years essentially without a net, just trusting each other and being loyal. We should all be so lucky.

But I digress. The Beasties sued Monster Beverage for copyright infringement because Monster used various Beasties songs to make a promotional video for their "Ruckus in the Rockies 2012" event. Monster then sued (natch) a DJ named Zack Sciacca, stage-named Z-Trip. Apparently, Monster used remixes available on Z-Trip's website to make the promotional video with Z-Trip's permission:

U-Tube!! Ha! Also "ha!" worthy: Monster asserts the defense that "Hey, we thought it was ok to bust the Beasties' loops, Z-Trip said it was dope."

Honestly. That's what they told Judge Engelmayer. More specifically, they told Judge Englemayer that "Mr. Sciacca said 'you can use the music on my website.' That was a separate contract, [then Monster asked] do you approve? And he wrote back, 'it's dope.'"

At which point the learned judge said "It's dope?"

Z-Trip's lawyer explained “It’s dope means it’s good. He says, ‘well they showed me this video and yeah, it looks good. They say ‘oh, that gives us permission to use all this music.' But there’s no contract between my client and the Beastie Boys.”

To which Judge Engelmayer replied, “I take it on a summary judgment motion that I have to treat ‘dope’ in the light most favorable to your client." I'm not sure if His Honor realized how funny that quip is. You probably don't either, particularly if you didn't take civil procedure. But trust me when I say it's a hoot.

Anyway, it goes without saying that it's really hard to win a case when the judge doesn't understand what you're saying. As the Beastie Boys would likely tell Monster's attorneys, don't play no game that you can't win.