See You In The Second Round, Bitches**

Bro hugs

The Washington Wizards, yes, the Washington Wizards, vanquished the higher-seeded Chicago Bulls last night in their first round playoff match-up. The Wiz last won a playoff series in 2005, coincidentally also on Chicago's home floor (we were at Champps post-softball when Gil hit the game winner), and prior to that I think the last playoff series win was in the early 80's (this is why we need a research intern). For some reason (the history of the franchise), not many folks gave Washington a chance in this series. I wasn't one of those people:

So, adios Chicago, adios Carlos Booze and his Wooly Willy beard, adios Kirk Hinrich and his Rec Specs, adios Mark's boy Joakim Noah. Only two first round playoff series have concluded so far, and amazingly one of them includes the victorious Wizards. Washington now awaits the winner of the upstart #8 seed Hawks vs. the vomiting-all-over-themselves #1 seed Pacers (seriously, I CANNOT wait until we find out what actually happened amongst the personalities in that locker room). Here's hoping that series goes a full seven games so Nene can rest his Elijah Price-esque body a few extra games.

Hey Kirk, check out this loin bump

No Washington pro hoops post would be complete without this video:




Other bits I want to include in here before I begin beating them into the virtual ground via hashtag overload:

#Phase3LaronProfit

#TheCerealKillers (for those unfamiliar with this team, they have a rather unhealthy and insatiable love of (kid's) breakfast cereal

Fruity Pebbles it is
— Trevor Booker (@35_Fitz) April 30, 2014

**Cannot take credit for this headline. That is Shlara's doing. Now let's hope this team can make it to the Eastern Conference Finals.

WIZARDS WIN!

Ghita excite:

Necessary Les Boulez clip:


2-12 HERE THEY COME, MOFOS!!!!