RIP Schlitz

The title of this post begs a pun involving the term "ripshit" but I'm feeling more maudlin over the discovery that Pabst Brewing Company will discontinue Schlitz beer.

When I was a younger man, there was a dive bar on Washington Street in Bergenfield that sold beer to go, no questions asked, and their cheapest was Schlitz.  I, accordingly, have a few memories of evenings that involve too much Schlitz.  We should pour one out for Schlitz but if you do I encourage you to pour out something other than Schlitz given that cans of Schlitz will soon be collector's items.  We will not be drinking Schlitz served by AI robots despite this predictive marketing:

The Twelve Days of Gheorghemas: Day Nine

On the ninth day of Gheorghemas, Big Gheorghe gave to me:

Nine internet moments of levity

Eight Tribey moments
Seven books for reading
6.9 Non Sequiturs
Six All-Star Nods
Five podcasts for listening
Four posts zman meant to write but never did
Three French Hens
Two in-state rivalries
And a dork with a split personality

Anybody else spend Christmas day in the emergency room after thinking that they were having a heart attack? No? Just me? Crap.  Maybe we need to update the G:TB death pool odds.   Clarence may no longer be the odds on favorite.  In the end, the hospital and cardiologist advised that I need to get more sleep, drink more water and avoid some work stress.  Apparently getting up at 4 AM to head to NYC two days before Christmas for meetings and an 8 hour deposition is not good for the overall well being.  Who knew? 

Anyway, Big Gheorghe, being the giving sort that he is, decided to offer nine items of internet levity that he thought might bring a smile to an ailing heart. As always, Gheorghe's choices were just what the doctor ordered.

1.     Raccoon Meets NWA:   This one kills me every time.

Nothing more needs to be said.

2.    Roderick On The Line:  Earlier this Gheorghemas, Dave shamelessly plugged his own podcast as one of five indispensable listens.   While I actually enjoy The Test quite a bit, as well as the other podcasts that everyone's favorite master of self-promotion listed,  I thought Dave left out some really solid podcasts. Not the least of these omissions is Roderick on The Line, which can be found here or on iTunes.  Mr. Roderick, who heads up the band The Long Winters, uses the podcast to showcase his skills as a raconteur and I laugh every time.  Here is a good introductory taste.

Also noteworthy is that Roderick recently toured with Aimee Mann & Liz Phair, which means he actually lived Clarence's and Rob's wet dream.

3.  ORF Rock:  You have seen it in the comments every Monday night and tried to ignore it.    However, if you let it, ORF Rock is like a fungus...it grows on you.  Maybe it's the technical snafus, maybe it's Penny Baker's momentary flashes of cleavage, maybe it's Les Coole's rapier wit, maybe it's the idea of two well post collegiate professionals broadcasting a weekly college "radio" show on a station that is not actually on the radio (internet only)...whatever "it" is, ORF Rock is a weekly break that is worth watching and live texting if only to make fun of Whitney.  

4.     Yacht Rock Episode #5:   As the series that launched a million OBFT quotes, Yacht Rock has a special place in heart of many G:TB'ers.  This particular episode makes the list because of the inclusion of Vincent Price (the Act-tor), Skunk Baxter's love of the spirit world, and the fact that it is often the subject of late night texts from FoG:TB Greg/Joe Kickass.  Gheorghe, like most eastern Europeans, loved Michael Jackson so this one is a personal fave of the big man.  

5.     Robert Loggia selling orange juice:  This year we lost Robert Loggia.  You may remember him as Frank Lopez from Scarface, the boss from Big, the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs in Independence Day, or the coach that gave Kathy Ireland a chance to play in Necessary Roughness.  

All great roles, but Big Gheorghe and I will always remember him for this classic.

If the Academy Awards forgets to include Big Bobby L in the "In Memoriam" segment there will be hell to pay.  

6.     Scott Van Pelt and Tim Kurkjian: SVP's penchant for sending Timmy K into fits of laughter has been well documented in this space.  That does not make it any less funny.  Thanks Big G for the reminder...


7.     Schlitz Malt Liquor Ads:  I don't know why these ads make me happy, but they just do.  Maybe it is the fact that malt liquor was once marketed as somehow having "more taste" than beer or maybe it is just the guy from the Average White Band singing into the can.  




8.     Buzz Bissinger vs. Will Leitch:  I don't know how I missed this back in 2008, but I was only recent alerted to this back and forth between Deadspin founder Will Leitch and Friday Night Lights author Buzz Bissinger.  Buzz's seething hatred for the faceless "blogosphere" is fantastic, totally unbridled, and really takes off about the 3:50 mark. This one is awesome if only for the awkward tension and the repeated use of "balls deep".  

Will Leitch On Costas Now by Machochip

Buzz continues to tilt at windmills, as evidenced by his recent fight with Michael Moore, but this may be the high point of "get off my lawn" journalistic holier than thou-ism.

9.     Mike Tyson on a hoverboard:  Because this is what the internet was invented for.



Thanks Gheorghe, I knew I could count on you.

I mean, was this seriously a commercial?

Holy Shit, this commercial gets a whole lot better with a little googling. The breakdancing group in this spot? (which is 100% real) The Lockers.

Wikipedia...(originally named The Campbellock Dancers) were a dance group formed by Toni Basil and Don 'Campbellock' Campbell eight years before MTV and 32 years before any of the current TV dance competitions could give them a hands up. Active throughout the 1970s, they were pioneers of street dance. Don Campbell is the founder of the locking dance style and originally, Locking was called The Campbellock - a style that was based on the dance and song that Don Campbell created.

And yeah, if you're thinking that Toni Basil name sounds familiar, you are correct. And it leads to awesome clip #2 in today's morning filler, Toni Basil's seminal 80s classic "Mickey"...