The Mad Wiener Grab of 2021

Nearly 3 million people have been lost to the COVID-19 pandemic.

Global economies have been disrupted, many industries have been hammered, and the state of the world is, even as we crawl out of this morass with vaccinations, fraught with uneasiness and anxiety.

But we will be fine.

Except . . . wait, what??

A looming shortage of bacon and hot dogs could leave big cookout plans up in smoke for July Fourth when most Americans are vaccinated

"Hogs have been in short supply since the beginning of the COVID-19 pandemic more than a year ago. Now analysts are predicting higher prices and a short supply of pork for foods like hot dogs and bacon as restaurants re-open and summer barbecues resume as vaccinations in the US pick up pace."

Apparently America's "pent-up demand for meat" will have trouble being met due to "lower production last year and higher disease losses." In case you didn't know, "the number of market hogs, piglets, and future piglets, dropped 1.8%, 1.4% and 2.5%, respectively." Damn the future piglets, I always say.

What does it mean?

• higher prices on these meats
• fewer discounts
• more people stocking up
• people bargain hunting
• barbecuing being impacted
• people being sad
• people starting to be vegetarian
• no, not really

I have actually been dating a vegetarian for a couple of years, and while it's been eye-opening in lots of ways, I am still highly carnivorous (and hotdogivourous, as you recall) and dismayed by these news.

Also, I got my vaccination shots at/courtesy of Smithfield Foods. Coincidence?

Gheorghemas Interlude with a Side of Bacon

The second half of 2018 was difficult for me. Ours is sometimes referred to as the "sandwich generation" because many of us have to take care of our kids and our parents, so we're sandwiched between them. Since the end of May I've been in a sandwich only mine's a club--I take care of my kids, my mother, and my grandmother. Through all of it G:TB has served as the bacon in my club sandwich. Thank you for giving me a venue to be an idiot and to read other people's idiocy. The past few months would've been much harder without your humor and dipshittery. Mark also gave me tremendously helpful advice on navigating the eldercare delivery system, TR helped me move some furniture, and many others sent me well-wishes and good vibes. I cannot tell you how much I appreciate all of this. Thank you.

via GIPHY

Smells Like Bacon

My Green Mountain homeland has been getting serious play here over the past several months because of its hip, hip artistic bent. It was one thing when the groovy kids at Middlebury College continued their dominance of Muggle Quidditch - college students are supposed to be zanily creative. But even the state's malcontents are getting into the act.

Inmates working at the Vermont Correctional Industries Print Shop in St. Albans developed and printed the decals that adorn State Police vehicles, modifying the traditional logo just a tiny bit to reflect the artists' interpretation of the authorities' oeuvre. It took the state four years to figure out the merry pranksters' digital duplicity, and mere weeks for the world to have a chuckle at its expense. Two pigs' feet up from the art lovers at Gheorghe: The Blog.

Woody Jackson (Middlebury College '70) would be proud.

The Ice Planet of...Bacon Tastes Good

Apparently, I am now the G:TB go-to for novelty Empire Strikes Back items on the world wide web. Which means it is my job to show you this gem, courtesy of the folks at This Is Freaking Ridiculous: The Bacon AT-AT

The vitals:
Three feet tall
40 lbs of cooked bacon
Took 21 non-stop hours to build
Look at this monstrosity...


I strongly suggest curling up in your Tauntaun Sleeping Bag and sleeping for 40 years after devoruing this pork spectacle.