Speaking of tempting, Shlara gets the first edition of this reboot because (a) she responded enthusiastically when I asked for her zip code, and (b) there are some legitimately cool cars near her.
Shlara's original WCSAGD car was a Fiat Dino, so it only makes sense that her local car should also be a Fiat: this 2017 Fiat 124 Abarth in Alexandria. The original Fiat 124 from the 1970's was very cool and very unreliable--it spawned the joke that Fiat stands for "Fix It Again Tony." The modern 124 is a Mazda Miata with a different body and engine. So it's reliable, but has the heart and look of an Italian sports car. These are legitimately cool cars and the Abarth versions are the fastest. This one is an automatic, but I don't know if Shlara can or wants to drive a stick, and it's more practical in DMV area traffic.
KBB says this is worth around $16,000. Let's hope Shlara wants a toy car!
But maybe she doesn't. She's a practical sort and I can envision her saying "What the hell am I supposed to do with that tiny car! I have stuff to haul!" I get it. Luckily for Shlara, there's a 1970 Ford Ranchero for sale in Rockville.
Perhaps this whip is a little too salt-of-the earth for Shlara, and like the Fiat it only seats two people so Shlara might decry "I have friends! I need more seats!" Fortunately for her, a guy in Springfield is selling a 1964 Cadillac Coupe DeVille with a 6.0 liter Vortec V8 swapped under the hood. Oh, it has flames painted on it too.
Hopefully the fuzzy dice are included in the sale. I think this is the perfect ride for Shlara, it's as if someone turned her into a car. But if she thinks this is too loud (literally and figuratively), I have one more great option for her.
There's a 2019 VW Golf Type R in Herndon. The Type R is one of those perfect cars that appeals only to people like me and is thus doomed to go extinct in the US. It handles like a dream (it's a Golf, after all), can be maintained by any decent mechanic anywhere in the country (again, it's a Golf), comfortably seats four people and a holds lot of cargo (more Golf), and gets over 30 MPG (Golf!!) while simultaneously churning out 288 horsepower to all four wheels so it goes like stink and handles snow well too. The Golf R is essentially an Audi S3 in a more convenient, stealthier package. Everyone should want one but no one does because most people are knuckleheads. But not Shlara! She's ready to Uber out to Herndon to pick this up.
That's all for now. Send me your zip code if you want your own list of regional, attainable cars curated just for you.
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43 comments:
love this
don't tell my kid about the golf.
Lots of good options for Shlara to consider. Not sure where in the area she lives, but I'll warn that Rockville is a haul from DC.
I was in DC over weekend before Christmas. My wife's brother rented an AirBnB near Dupont Circle. 4 floor walkup with roof deck, not far from the Obama's DC home. Since it was my wife's side of the family, I did a lot of the cooking and driving.
On Xmas eve I volunteered to give my kids and their cousins a ride to Georgetown to do some shopping. I planned to let them take transit back. Then my sister in law and her 82 year old mother decided to tag along. I decided to do a little sightseeing tour on my own after I dropped them off. After driving around for a couple hours, I headed back to Georgetown and executed the most flawless pickup I could have imagined. Everyone got to the pickup spot at exactly the same time.
I was obviously pumped by such a well executed outing, and we got back to the house around 5pm, at which point my niece sent me the address to where were eating dinner. She and her 22 year old brother picked the spot - a hot pot/ korean bbq spot in, you guessed it, Rockville. Just a short 40 minute drive from our house. I could rant on about the dining experience, which was extremely meh, but driving from the heart of DC to Rockville did not put me in the holiday spirit. And I was too annoyed to disguise that fact very well.
But would you make that drive for a baby blue 1970 Ford Ranchero with a black hood, hood clips, and graphic decals on the side?
the question answers itself, z
in other news, i just saw this on bluesky: the quebecois version of "not the sharpest knife in the drawer is "elle n'est pas le pingouin qui glisse le plus loin". which means, "not the penguin that slides the furthest". i shall be using this phrase from this point forward.
I think Ranchero may be worth the drive. To get to a spot where you have to cook your own dinner, consisting of a soup and sauce you choose, plus platters of rolled up mystery meat ordered by your 22 year old nephew, not so much.
Rootsy is a better man than me. Rockville would have rockveto'd. Probably 50 restaurants within a 3-mile radius of your crib. Eff that noise.
At least 50, Danimal. Probably way more, and better options.
It just reminded me that kids in their 20s are still mostly unaware of how to function as a grown up. When I met up with my uncles and told them where we'd gone to dinner, they couldn't believe that we'd ventured all the way to Rockville.
My nephew is a first year teacher, and made a big show of "treating" us all to dinner. His dad confirmed it was a credit card cash back scam, and he was actually covering the cost.
We were fully functional adults in Braxton Court and Unit M.
We were?
Z's auto posts are always a treat. I wonder if he might expand them to include stuff such as levels of car swag. What's appropriate, what's excessive, what's douche-y. Color schemes, accessories, vanity plates, muscle car packages, etc. Like, are school bus yellow roadsters acceptable? Guys wearing Tesla clothing? (I've seen both, by the way). Anyway, just a thought, since Z obviously has many car-related opinions.
I have many automotive opinions and I don't share them all because I don't want to offend anyone. That said, I am 100% down with yellow cars. Pastel yellow is a personal fave but so are all the others. Audi used to offer the S4 wagon in yellow and it's a treat to behold. Porsche's Bahama Yellow is under appreciated. Speed Yellow, Fly Yellow, Racing Yellow, all good stuff.
Auto brand attire - okay with it here within certain parameters - any non-luxury brand - Ford, Chevy, Honda, Gremlin....run with it.
If you are an F1 person and support a team - sure.
If you drive one of the luxury branded vehicles and wear their attire - that pushes it. I saw a guy a couple of weeks ago who recently acquired a maxed out Cayenne wearing coordinated hat & golf shirt. Not to cut corners, his tennis shoes matched the black & red color scheme. That's varsity level douche-y in the Danimal's book of Douche-y-ness.
Have y'all seen the bumper stickers on Teslas that says, “We bought it before we knew how awful he is.”
Let me add another scenario that's okay...if you are employed by any of the manufacturers, luxury or not, you're good to go.
Z, this is amazing! You know I love a Fiat, and I drive an Audi now, so that Golf is in my wheelhouse. The '64 Cadillac is a statement, and I don't know if I have enough swag to drive around in that one
Here’s more positive feedback for you, Z. This is awesome.
i also think the caddy would be tough to drive in the city. shame, really.
i'm generally on danimal's wavelength as it relates to car merch. i don't own any myself. but i would make an exception for a morgan t-shirt. size medium. aspirational, and everything.
Canyonerooooo!
https://youtu.be/rQepHGxrifs?si=J4gIKngcEuudJC5T
Zero sympathy for virtue signaling Tesla owner who claim they didn’t know how awful Elon is/was. Guy has been a douche since the Pope was a private.
rootsy, you familiar with appaloosa festival (https://appaloosafestival.com/)? looks like it could be a fun mini-summit venue for those that are roots musically-inclined.
i don't think the pope served in the military.
Whit went to Kindergarten with one of the performers
i think he’s know him longer that even that
suck it, lapierre, you absolute cynical prick.
I hope Shlara's BaT handle is lotzapaws because they won the Ranchero for $20k on the nose. I would crow that I know my stuff but that would be unseemly.
I don't love car branded clothes, but there are certain items that you can only get if you're invited to brand events, and that stuff is fine with me, especially if you wear it at other branded events. You know it when you see it because it's obscene.
For example, I went to an Audi track day and one of the other guys was wearing a Porsche 918 hat that he clearly got at a Porsche 918 launch event. Being invited to such an event means you own a plurality of Porsches, really desirable ones, and you ball so hard that Porsche suspects you will buy a 918. He wore it to an Audi event because it's all Audi guys. That's the situation where it makes the most sense to wear your branded car gear.
An autophile’s way of trolling. Approved
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3dJO47d26kc
if you think that boston video was spinal tap, check this out. just saw this for the first time last week: vanilla fudge invented every rock'n'roll trope in 1968 on the ed sullivan show. it seems fake.
We got a home security system today which includes a camera that not only lets you hear what's going on outside, it also allows you to talk to whoever is outside. It took zkids about 15 seconds to realize they could use this to haze and heckle everyone within a 50 yard radius of zhouse, which they did for I don't know how long. Now I'm scared to look my neighbors in the eye. Technology is terrible.
allow me to commend to you the wham! documentary on netxlix. at its core, a story about friends. right in the center of my wheelhouse.
Saw this deadline in my email:
The Post Most: Obama, worried about Trump, …
I thought, maybe he’s coming back for another term??! Wow!!
Alas, just:
…urges Biden circle to bolster campaign
your wrens, 1-1 in conference!
Fingerless driving gloves - Unless you're on a track, extra douchy IMHO
Ello’ Gheorghies
so the secretary of defense of the united states of america was hospitalized for four days last week and he told the chairman of the joint chiefs of staff but *did not tell* the president, the national security advisor, or the interim secdef. i know we live in a post-outrage world, but that seems fucking outrageous. like fireable shit.
and who turned on the italics?
the eagles getting just pasted by the giants? you hate to see it.
Eagles fans on the X are lit
That’s not short for literate
I don’t think we can fire the President, Rob. I think the constitution requires the people to vote him out. Which is what may happen if the Democrats don’t get their head out of their keesters.
josh allen is giving us the full josh allen experience
This isn’t Russia, Marls. Is this Russia? I didn’t think so. And I think it’s “keisters.”
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