While the staff thrusts G:TB into uncharted territories, such as Pod-casts and Twitter, I am working on something more traditional. Something that will spring G:TB into the consciousness of every American. Something BIG. That's right: Gheorghe: The Movie.This is what I've got so far.
Gheorghe: The Movie
Interior Shot: A GUY sits at his computer in his cubicle.
The GUY reads a G:TB post entitled "What Do You Call a Tribe of Griffins?"
The GUY chuckles, then frowns.
Insert Shot: Text of post. "Its difficult to imagine a more . . ."
The GUY'S expression indicates that he notices Improper Apostrophe Use (this will take a very expressive actor to convey this).
The GUY clicks and the page shifts to a comment page. He scrolls and reads and chortles.
The GUY types something. He looks it over and then posts his comment. He copies and pastes a tiny URL into his browser. He watches a "Major Lazer" video with a confused expression on his face.
A MAN WITH A FOLDER enters his cubicle. The GUY minimizes Gheorghe: The Blog.
FOLDER MAN: Here's the rest of the information on the report.
GUY: Thanks, I'll finish it up this afternoon.
The FOLDER MAN exits.
The GUY scrolls down the comments. There are new comments. He snickers and types another comment.
Then he turns his chair towards the camera. The GUY is sporting a thin mustache.
THE END
I know it's a good start, because I'm a screenwriter. Or I was. If you'd like to know how my screen writing career ended before it began, ask Igor. It's a sordid tale of betrayal, incompetence, and laziness, and it would take too much energy for me to tell it here. But I'm finally over it, and the ideas are just flowing through me, as you can see from this preview. My only concern is that I wanted Gary Coleman to play Rob, but now that's not possible. Herve Villechaize will have to suffice. He's not dead, right?
Posts
21 comments:
I'll be the guy at the presser demanding goatation.
Rep. Anthony Weiner (D-NY) "plans to bring a live goat" to a Capitol Hill presser today "to denounce an old nemesis in the federal budget: the subsidy for mohair" ("Metropolis").
As a consequence of his health problems and troubles in his professional career, Hervé Villechaize began to abuse alcohol and suffered from clinical depression in the last few years of his life, which led to erratic and sometimes violent behavior, including an incident in which he allegedly held his agent at gunpoint in a booth at a restaurant in Los Angeles.
In the early morning hours of September 4, 1993, Hervé shot himself at his home. He was found by his longtime girlfriend, Kathy Self, and rushed to the Medical Center at North Hollywood, California. He died later that day as a result of his injuries. Villechaize left a suicide note saying he was despondent over longtime health problems.
...and Rob could take a lesson in owning up:
In later years, he insisted on being called a midget, rather than "little person", irritating activists like Billy Barty.
And I assume the "betrayal" in your screenwriting career was directed at me.
al pacino is probably available to play me, or michael j fox. also, warwick davis.
They should just use a leftover Gelfling muppet. They could make the rob/Gelfling muppet do a rap video and we can post it here as sort of a preview of the movie. Cross-promotion is huge.
I could use a little breather.
Blackhawks. drexdrago and bruno can suck it.
i know a little breather!
he's forty and his name is rob.
So, wait. Dave gets jokes here, but not at his own blog?
i'm the straight man on my blog.
here i'm a clown.
where are the quality posts?
the last two are bordering on retarded and i'm still baffled by that "major lazer" video.
fuck you, dave.
fuck YOU, mr truck.
Oh boy...
i've got an extremely stupid one coming tomorrow, dave.
By the way, the "We Have A Winner!" post below ended with exactly 69 comments. On 6/9.
The Frat Gods smiled upon G:TB yesterday.
http://tbz.me/nY8kg
Crap.
Link was to TJ's new food conquest.
Stupid Blogger login.
I like health food.
"No means no" is my favorite heckle of all time.
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