zHot Takes on Science Fiction

I finally figured out what makes a sci-fi/fantasy TV show good.  Any show set in some alternate world, whether it's the future, outer space, or some mythical realm of swords and sorcery, has to explain how all the alternate world shit works in addition to explaining who all the people are.  If you botch setting things up, the whole thing falls apart.

For example, I watched a few episodes of The Expanse at Dave's suggestion.  Although I like to break his balls I respect Dave's taste in books and TV tremendously and I expected to like it.  But after a handful of episodes I'm just meh on it and I stopped watching.  There's too many people in too many places, the United Nations has too much power, and there are too many rules about living on different planets and asteroid belts for me to figure out on top of all the criminal plot lines and political maneuvering.  One plot line is clear--Mars and the asteroid belts need water and the only way to get it is by harvesting ice from some outer planets--but it makes no sense.  Yoo mean tuh tell me dat deez fuggin stoonads ken put a civiluhzashin on fuggin Mars, but dey can't make wadduh outta elemental hydrogen and oxygen?  I kawl boolshit.

Seriously though, I have too much to learn when I watch the Expanse and I can't keep it all straight.  Seeing Joey Tribiani's nephew in a spaceship is confusing too.  

I'm too stupid and too lazy to process it.

Similarly, I watched the first season of Wheel of Time and I do not plan on watching the second.  It starts out as your standard medieval type of thing, but then a lady appears who can shoot what looks like DNA from her hands and she saves the day when a bunch of random monsters appear.  

She tells a bunch of people that she's looking for "The Dragon Reborn" and it could be one of them.  It takes a while to clarify all this hooey, and there is blatant theft from Game of Thrones and Lord of the Rings.  Yes, the whole swords and sorcery genre rips off LotR but this is ridiculous.  They're practically running through Mordor at one point.  "The Dark One" has an army of creatures that are orcs with dog heads.  Superpowers randomly flare up in a bar.  A wizard guides a band of trusting, less experienced people through a harrowing journey to defeat an evil force that has been silent for 3000 years, and only one of them can save the world.  

Meanwhile, they run into all sorts of random people in random places that can do random superhuman things and there is no explanation for it.  There are flashbacks to battles where neither side of the fight is identified.  Eventually they explain the lady with the DNA hands--she's part of this sisterhood of badass DNA slingers (the DNA comes from The True Source (but not The Source)), and the whole society of them is very complicated and political, so you have to wrap your head around that while trying to understand how their powers work, when suddenly a man who can sling DNA shows up and that unleashes a whole new set of rules and backstory to digest.  It's ridiculous.

Which is to say there's a fair amount of theft from Dune.  A society of women who can use The Voice/touch The True Source to do stuff and men can't do it ... except sometimes they can.  

And then some guy eats something that makes his mouth bleed.  No idea why.

Game of Thrones got this right.  Season 1, episode 1 opens with a big scary slightly obscured monster killing people.  The rest of season 1 is just regular humans with differing UK accents establishing themselves and their motivation.  When something weird happens, like a Dothraki wedding, there is an outsider who sits in for the audience to ask "What the fuck is going on?" to another outsider who knows the deal.   

By the end of season 1 you forget that that there is any magical shit involved whatsoever, until this:

And then you're like "Oh right, I forgot there was magical shit on this show!" but you're ready for it because you know who everyone is and what they're trying to do.  You can wrap your head around all the mystical stuff starting in season 2.

So if you're going to run a sci-fi/fantasy TV show, explain the people first and the science/sorcery afterwards.

zHot Takes After the 2022 French Open

On Sunday, Rafael Nadal won his 14th French Open in his 18th attempt at the title.  He won his first one at 19 and this year's at 36.  Think about how much changed in your life between your 19th and 36th birthdays.  Now imagine winning one of the world's most prestigious sporting events essentially every year of your life over that span.  It's unfathomable.  It's also a testimony to him and his family that he remained focused and scandal-free (poor Boris Becker) despite success at such a young age.

Nadal now has 22 Grand Slam titles, the most of anyone ever.  Roy Emerson held the record with 12 Slams until 1999 when Pete Sampras won his 13th.  Pistol Pete retired after winning his 14th in 2002.  So Nadal tied the old record just based on his work at the French Open alone.

Nadal is 112-3 at the French.  Those 112 French wins are more than some Hall of Famers had in all their Grand Slam appearances combined, guys like Kuerten, Ivanisevic, Stich, Kafelnikov.

He is 8-8 in other Grand Slam finals.  So if he never played in the French Open, he would have more Slams than McEnroe, Wilander, Becker, and Edberg; he would be tied with Agassi, Lendl, and Connors; and he would have as many as Ashe, Murray, Roddick, and Ivanisevic combined.  All of those guys are in the Hall of Fame except for Murray because he's still playing.  And those non-French 16 finals appearances would be more than anyone except four other players (and tied with Borg).  And he always plays his ass off, even when he loses.

I feel like I've written this before--perhaps I have, just about someone else--so you're probably tired of reading my rants.  Just realize that this age of preposterous tennis can't go on forever, so appreciate it while it lasts.