Travhelhogue: Louisville

As noted previously in these environs, my wife and I joined five other couples (and a single) for a long weekend along the Kentucky Bourbon Trail. There are details that remain hazy, but I captured a handful of numbers that tell the story with some reasonable accuracy.

433 is the number of feet from the back door of our AirBnB to the back door of Molly Malone's Irish Pub in Louisville's Highlands neighborhood. Convenient, that.

Most of us hit 4 distilleries on a tour that started at 9:30 in the morning and finished up just in time to watch Colorado lose to UCLA. Kicked things off at Woodford Reserve, which is a beautiful spot in the rolling hills of horse country near Lexington, where we learned that a full barrel of whiskey weighs 500 pounds before it's aged. 

From there, a stop at Castle & Key, which is the last distillery the legendary Colonel E. H. Taylor founded. It had fallen into disrepair in the early 2010s when a local lawyer in the throes of a mid-life crisis (my man!) purchased the property in 2012 for less than $1 million. The grounds are beautiful, the gin is excellent, and the bourbon is...getting there. Quick stop at Buffalo Trace for a tasting and gift shop run (more about which later) before closing the tour at Whiskey Thief, a young distillery where guests take samples directly from the barrels.

Because distilleries generally use water to "proof down" their product before bottling it, the 122 proof stuff we tried right from the barrel at Whiskey Thief was the highest-octane tipple we enjoyed. Smooth, it wasn't, but interesting nonetheless.

If you're a bourbon drinker, you likely know the tradition that someone who finishes a bottle of Blanton's at a bar is rewarded with the horse and jockey adorned bottle stopper, each of which is imprinted with one of the eight letters in the brand's name. It's a big deal to collect all of the letters. I've got two in my collection to date. But at Buffalo Trace, they were selling the stoppers for $19.99. Which is fucking cheating, y'all.

Got a bit more edification the next day, hitting the Frazier Museum to learn stuff about Kentucky and Louisville before touring Hillerich & Bradsby, where Louisville Slugger bats are made. The tour is very cool if you're into baseball, and pretty neat even if you're not - we got to watch bats being turned on a lathe, which takes about 30 seconds.

Me and Yaz. Kinda.

I was expecting the tour, but I was not anticipating the opportunity to actually hold history in my hands. There's an exhibit at the museum where visitors can take game-used bats from a murderer's row of big leaguers past and present and take a stance with them. I grabbed Carl Yastrzemski's lumber, which weighed in at 32 ounces. And then picked up one of Babe Ruth's clubs, which was a colossal 42.5 ounces, fully 3.5 more than any other bat in the collection. 

That evening, after we went to a place adjacent to the Louisville Slugger factory where we mixed our own bourbon (Russell Rare 23 in my bar, just waiting for guests), we went back to our place and then walked to one of the most unique bars I've ever set foot in. Neat is a bourbon bar, full stop. Yeah, they'll serve you a beer, and I suppose you can get water, but there's no food and 90% of the menu is whiskey. It's all plush armchairs and deep mahogany and dim light, and they stock a shitload of good stuff, some of which they purchase from customers looking to part with a good bottle. By law, they can only buy things that are unavailable in Kentucky, which is how I came to drink an ounce of Blanton's Gold Takara, which is only distributed in Japan. Set me back $20, but it was one of the two best bourbons I drank over the weekend (the other being the Woodford Double Oaked).

Got up yesterday morning, stepped on the scale, and saw that the weekend had plumped me up to the tune of 6 pounds, which represents a gain of 4% of bodyweight. I feel like that's pretty impressive. And a reason for me not to move to Louisville any time soon.

Those two red barrels at Woodford will be 
bottled for the 2024 Kentucky Derby. Expected retail
value: $2500 per bottle.

This is the mash at Woodford. That vat has been used
for nearly 30 years. It'll be replaced in December.