I am fit as a goddam fiddle, alternatively titled "The Streak Redux"

Almost four years ago I touted my Peloton purchase in a Gheorghemas post.  I have continued to use it regularly and although I haven't been able to drop my weight significantly below 169 pounds (and really, why would I want to) I am fit as a goddam fiddle.  I routinely crank out rides of 11-13 kJ per minute (Danimal scoffs at that) and work up a mighty sweat but cool down in about five minutes.  When I'm not doing rides I'm lifting weights or doing yoga.  Not heavy weights or good yoga, but I'm trying (I hate lifting weights).  If I'm away from home I'll do a run on the hotel treadmill or even outside (!) on the street.  I have convinced myself that this shit is fun, worthwhile, and too expensive to collect dust in the basement.

So thorough is this self-inflicted Jedi mind trick that yesterday I completed my 365th day in a row of doing at least one Peloton activity.  A streak, if you will.  rob's wife streaked with me.  She also participated in the ride I took to make the streak one year long. 

Some of you will remember my last streak which ran sometime during the spring semester of 1996 when I went after Buck's house record for most consecutive nights out.  This was a streak of an entirely different tone and tenor than my current health kick.  Eventually I broke the record, and when I saw Buck I told him so.  He replied "I don't remember setting a record like that" which means his streak destroyed his memory or he was full of shit when he told an impressionable freshman about his drinking exploits.

Unlike my streak of 1996, I feel no pressure with this one.  In fact I feel good!  I'm not keeping it alive just to say I did, I'm enjoying myself.  I'm sure this streak will come to an end but it won't be a relief when it does.

Return of zbouillabaisse

zbouillabaisse, aka zman bouillabaisse (not to be confused with B-Boy Bouillabaisse), is back!  

1. The QAnon Shaman is running for Congress.  Of course he is, because our politics doubles in stupidity every 2 years.  It's zman's law.  Jacob Chansley is running for Arizona's 8th district as a Libertarian.  The current representative, Debbie Lesko, isn't running again and the Shaman is a natural fit to represent Maricopa County.  And he already knows his away around the Capitol.  

2. Nooner, Shocker.  The coach of the Wichita State Shockers' women's basketball team is named Terry Nooner.  We love nooners around here.  Here's Nooner the Shocker giving the shocker.  

A big happy birthday to the one and only Coach @terrynooner! 🎉 pic.twitter.com/BHUkvpZv7T

— Wichita State Women’s Basketball (@GoShockersWBB) November 12, 2023

Can't make this stuff up.  H/t to the DLC. 

3.  I got a heat pump!  That isn't a euphemism, it's a device split between my attic and my back yard that can heat or cool my second floor without burning any fossil fuels, thus solving the problem of my undersized HVAC system that doesn't push air hard enough to reach the bedrooms, allowing me to turn the furnace way down at night but still sleep warmly without burning natural gas, and most importantly, offsetting my carbon footprint so I can drive for pleasure without invoking as much ire from Dave (although I bet the two little cars I drive the most have better fuel economy than Dave's behemoth vehicles).  And I will get a tax credit.

4. "You can't end sex on even numbers."  I'm sure you've seen Terrell Owens and Chad Ochocinqo reminiscing about their 12-hour, 17-woman orgy.  When TO suggests it was only 12 women, Ocho retorts "You can't end sex on even numbers!"  I suppose that's right given my experience--one is an odd number.  It would be nice if these guys did a PSA for PrEP though.  I'm no expert, but if you plan to attend an orgy you should get your shots first.

Good zNews

Thanks to my genetic and professional predisposition for high blood pressure, I got my second covid vaccination on Friday night.  There were a ton of people at my county's vaccination center but the National Guard moved us along like clockwork, it took maybe 15-20 minutes from check-in through dosage and then a 15 minute observation period to make sure I didn't have an allergic reaction.  I woke up on Saturday with a sore arm but no other ill effect.  This surprised me because based on what I've read and seen, I expected the next day to go like this:

For clarity, I would be Arnold Schwarzenegger in this scenario and zwoman would be Sandahl Bergman.  TR would be the wizard.

But now I'm like this:

I'm still wearing masks, distancing, washing my hands, etc. but it feels good to be vaccinated.

I might feel good because I've also started taking better care of myself.  I haven't had a drink since Christmas and I've exercised all but two days since January 1.  As a result I've lost at least five pounds, I get decent sleep, and I have fewer aches and pains.  Thanks to my employer's wellness benefit plan I have a bicycle for the first time in about 30 years and I look forward to riding around with zson as the weather get better.

zmom is slated for her first dose on Thursday and zstepfather on Monday.  So there's good znews all around.  Saying this in pixels practically guarantees a meteor strike or some other calamity, but I'll enjoy the positivity for now.

***DAY 2 UPDATE***

I'm still like this:

Check Ya Rec(tum)

Last night, I had a delicious meal of pork dumplings and Asian slaw, which I followed with a large chocolate chip cookie. I had a beer at about 9:30 (Rogue 7 Hop IPA, if you're curious, courtesy of the new Total Beverage in my hometown - and ain't that a gift from the Gods). And I won't have anything else of any substance until 3:00 PM tomorrow.

I'll be subsisting on Jello, coffee, broth, and water today, and I can't have anything at all tomorrow morning. Beginning at 4:00 PM today, I'll be cranking 12 oz. of SuPrep and 80 oz. of water to Roto Rooter my insides. Then, tomorrow, a doctor's going to knock me out and shove a tube up my ass.

I'm doing this for you, friends.

You see, my family's got a history of lots of different kinds of cancers, chief among them colon, with esophageal and prostate running close behind. As a result, my doctor suggested that I accelerate the normal timeline for men to get their shit checked out (literally, I guess), and I'm scheduled for my second colonoscopy tomorrow. The first one was a thing of beauty. The pictures, anyway. My colon's a kaleidoscopic marvel. I'll spare you actual visual.

So if I'm cranky online today, you'll understand why. Just remember that I'm sacrificing so that you'll have me around for a good long while, and make sure you ask your doctor about your own colonic health. The life you save may be your own.