Winning Football in D.C.!

The Washington Valor won Arena Bowl XXXI in July, shrugging off a 2-10 regular season to sweep through the Arena Football League's (AFL) everyone-in-the-pool playoffs to bring D.C. its first men's professional football title since 1983. (The D.C. Divas, as we all know, have won three titles in two different distaff leagues since 2006.)

Now, the National Capital region can lay claim to another football champion. Not Dan Snyder's boys, obviously. Few things give me more pleasure than watching that chump's plaything circle the drain, and even fewer than that as much glee as the dismal attendance at the Burgundy and Gold's home opener. (Sorry, Whit. Bygones.)

No, a different squad altogether captured a national title in D.C.'s honor this week. The Washington Generals, pride of the D.C. Gay Flag Football League (DCGFFL), went undefeated in six games across three days, defeating the San Diego Toros, 29-13, to win Gay Bowl XVIII.

The National Gay Football League's flagship event (younger, dumber, less woke me would've had a hard time resisting a terrible, offensive pun there), this year's Gay Bowl brought together 57 teams from 22 cities in the Denver area. The Generals made their namesake hoops squad proud, though the Harlem Globetrotters were nowhere to be found.

And in an era where the National Football League is searching for a bit of positive press, good on the Denver Broncos for coming out in support of the Gay Bowl, backing the event with the team's community improvement staff, as well as financially. Boy, will the fuckwits that hate the NFL for kneeling black people really lose their shit when they find out the gays are involved.