I've already downed two Starbucks ventis today, so I decided to do my Christmas shopping a little early this year. And, as always, I will be using the Skymall catalog to find gifts for everyone on my list...First up, the G:TB staff gifts. These will of course be shipped at the same time rob mails that bottle of Jameson to Mark:
TR - I'm willing to bet you dream of an item like this quite often. So dream no more big guy, it's all yours. And this will make your kid think you actually care about his crappy school projects.
Zoltan - When I think fantastic live musical performances, I think of one man only. The Z Man.
Whit - I wanted your new pad to look super cool, hence these. And in case you weren't getting the best vibes from your place, this will surely help you redecorate. No whining, I got you a toy as well...you're the guy on the right in the pic.
Mark - I don't really care about you, so I got these for your dogs. Fine, you can also have this "practical" item for use when the Jameson arrives.
Dennis - For those days when you can't escape the fam for 18 holes of peace and quiet (and swearing), I got you this completely unnecessary item.
Dave - I think you'll enjoy the randomness of this gift more than anyone else.
rob - Here's a little something that will help our diminutive friend with his nightly struggle to make it into bed. And this will help you get around town.
Don't think I forgot all you other fine people who frequent this space (and if I did forget you, well, sorry, the G:TB corporate card was declined...I'll have to get you next year):
Geoff - It was tough to shop for you, but I believe I found a vinner.
Jerry - Just because. Use those brain waves young man. It's items like this that make Skymall so god damn entertaining. I also got you this because, you know, your from that dumpy state and stuff.
Shlara - Because I'm a blatant sexist, here's two gifts for our favorite female fan, who I assume like all women spends 90% of their time in the kitchen (at least that's what Mark has led me to believe). All right, all right, you can also have this gem.
Dan - Why not? You can use it to keep the bookie at bay after a rough weekend. And since I don't know you at all, this seems like an item you would enjoy.
Work Jerry - I found the perfect thing for your home. And I got you this, mainly so I can come over and eat them while watching your NFL Sunday Ticket.
Mayhugh - Easiest gift to buy of anyone.
Michael Jack - For Mr. Vino, next time you travel, no worries, you won't have to leave a good bottle behind. You'll be the hit of the coach cabin. And, double bonus, in case you're still a creepy voyeur, I picked you up this as well.
Marlin - Sadly, I forgot you at first, but now that I heard you ran the NYC Marathon yesterday, I splurged and picked you up this.
Greg - I failed you as well, frequent visitor to this space. So, to make it up to you, I got you this for the drowning of sorrows and such.
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