NY Jets 27, San Diego 21
"Time to Get Ill"
"Went outside my house - I went down to the deli, I spent my last dime to refill my fat belly..."
It's an easy joke, but seriously Rex, have you thought about wearing lesser fitting shirts?
Kansas City 28, Oakland 0
"No Sleep till Brooklyn"
"Our manager's crazy - he always smokes dust, He's got his own room at the back of the bus.."
Hue Jackson, coach of the Raiders, called the trade for Carson "Pick Six: Palmer" a "great trade". Sure, bro.
Chicago 24, Tampa Bay 18
"Rhymin & Stealin"
"We got maidens and wenches - man they're on the ace, Captain Bly is gonna die when we break his face..."
The Bucs were awful yesterday. This one really makes no sense, except I want to work with the pirate theme. Sue me.
Carolina 33, Washington 20
"The New Style"
"Got rhymes that are rough and rhymes that are slick, I'm not surprised you're on my dick..."
Auburn fans, Panthers fans, and anyone that saw Mr. Newton make fools of Redskins' defenders Sunday afternoon.
Denver 18, Miami 15 (OT)
"Posse In Effect"
"I'm schoolin' in the boys' room - coolin' by the locker All the girls in class know that I'm the cool rocker..."
"Rocker" in this instance means coolest God Squad guy around, riiiight?
Green Bay 33, Minnesota 27
"Girls"
Well I'm cruising, I'm bruising - I'm never ever losing, I'm in my car - I'm going far and dust is what I'm using..."
Aaron Rodgers, video game quarterback. Maybe someone on the Vikings just realized Greg Jennings was open.
Dallas 34, St. Louis 7
"Slow and Low"
"It's never old school - all brand new, So everybody catch - the bugaloo flu..."
I am now nicknaming Cowboys rookie running back DeMarco Murray the "Bugaloo Flu".
New Orleans 62, Indianapolis 7
"Paul Revere"
"I did it like this, I did it like that, I did it with a whiffleball bat..."
Scoreboard.
Atlanta 23, Detroit 16
"Fight for Your Right"
"Man living at home is such a drag, now your mom threw away your best porno mag (Busted)..."
This is actually what Lions' defensive lineman were saying to Matt Ryan yesterday when he injured his ankle. It's also the quote several dumbass lacrosse kids submitted to the yearbook my senior year for a poor schlep who had no clue until the yearbooks were handed out.
Cleveland 6, Seattle 3
"Slow Ride"
All the fly ladies are making a fuss, But I can't pay attention - 'cause I'm on that dust..."
This lyric can apparently apply to every offensive player on the browns and Seahawks. What the F were you people doing for 60 minutes yesterday?
Houston 41, Tennessee 7
"She's Crafty"
We got into the cab - the cab driver said, He recognized my girlie from the back of her head..."
I'll let you decide if the cab drive is the Texans or the Titans. You're smart folks, I think you'll get it.
Pittsburgh 32, Arizona 20
"Hold It, Now Hit It"
"I'm down with Mike D. and it ain't no baloney, for real, not phony - "O.E." and Rice-a-Roni..."
Harro, Hines Ward.
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