Michigan, Man

This is a post in the form of a question. Or maybe vice versa. Either way, it’s something I’ve mulled for a few days. In the drama concerning sign-stealing by University of Michigan football, the outing of an over-enthusiastic minion with an expense account, and head coach Jim Harbaugh’s suspension by the Big Ten Conference, why is this anything other than a high-profile case of workplace discipline? 

We’ve been subjected to varying degrees of outrage, calls for stricter or lesser punishment depending on rooting interest, and peeks behind the curtain related to sportsmanship and coaching practices. We’ve heard endless yammering about due process and legal challenges and NCAA overreach and temporary injunctions – a sampling of the elements that make sports a magical draw for so many. The fact that it’s major-college, high-dollar athletics adds layers of passion and gasbaggery beyond reasonable measure. 

Harbaugh sat out the first game of his three-game suspension last Saturday at Penn State when Michigan Big Hats were unable to arrange an immediate hearing in hopes of getting the punishment overturned or at least delayed. The Wolverines dedicated their performance to their absent leader and afterward some reacted as if Harbaugh had perished while rescuing nuns from a burning convent. 

Harbaugh remains with the program each week. He is barred from the stadium for four hours during the final three regular season games, the last of which is the annual blood feud versus Ohio State. He returns to the sideline if the Wolverines make the Big Ten championship game and the College Football Playoff. 

This has been characterized as “unfair” and “extreme” and as much as “irreparable harm” by the Maize and Blue crowd, while others think the punishment insufficient for the transgression revealed. A hearing is scheduled Friday, which figures to be at least a one-ring circus, particularly if Harbaugh testifies. But again, if I may, isn’t it within the Big Ten’s purview to impose discipline or punish people and institutions as it sees fit? 

It’s not as cut-and-dried as some perceived offense at Microsoft or McDonald’s and granted, Harbaugh isn’t an “employee” of the Big Ten. He’s employed by Michigan. Which agrees to certain guidelines and conditions as a member of the conference, one being ‘don’t play us and make us look like feebs.’  

Attorneys both credentialed and armchair have gone all pro bono and talked up the points of lack of due process and fair practices in the Big Ten’s suspension. But this isn’t a criminal case. Heck, it’s barely an NCAA case at this point, only the notice of an investigation and some preliminary findings. This situation strikes less as due process and more about the expectation that the Big Ten should cut the membership some slack. 

Part of Michigan’s defense is: everybody does it, an extension of the old NASCAR credo, “If you ain’t cheatin’, you ain’t tryin’.” It seems that many programs do indeed attempt to steal signs, but using electronics to relay signals to coaches and players is forbidden, and in-person scouting and attempted sign-stealing has been an NCAA violation since 1994. 

Another component is that Harbaugh himself supposedly was unaware of the assistant’s sign-stealing M.O., his visits to various stadia and upcoming opponents to videotape their sidelines. The Big Ten looked at the preponderance of examples of the assistant, Connor Stalions, purchasing tickets at different venues and cozying up to Wolverines’ coordinators and determined that the practice was ongoing and systemic. That other Big Ten schools called out Michigan for its sign stealing methods didn’t bolster its defense. 

The Big Ten stopped short of saying Harbaugh knew, though someone who famously micro-manages his program being completely unaware over an extended period stretches credibility. The conference was careful to say that it was punishing Michigan and not Harbaugh. Jumping ugly on an expendable second-tier assistant coach wasn’t sufficient, however, hence the call to suspend the CEO. 

Certainly, it may be ham-handed or poor timing or hastily considered, or all the above. It hardly needs pointing out that corporations and governing bodies are as entitled to questionable decisions as those they oversee, and they happen to wield the hammer (Here I should point out that I welcome the G:TB Legal Dept., or those in the audience who aren’t self-employed, weighing in to tell me if I’m missing something). 

Michigan’s athletic director was predictably huffy after the suspension, saying in effect: “You’re happy that they banged us? That just means they can come for you, too.” A mite short on the contrition scale, and unfortunately permits them to focus on the process and punishment, and not the violation. No telling what will come from Friday’s hearing. Regardless, the Big Ten offices will want to scrutinize incoming holiday packages. Food tasters may not be a bad idea, either.