Friday Mishmash Potpourri Filler

As we await yet another exciting week of college football picks from Danimal and Mark, a new post is needed, because honestly, how many times can you watch a video about magnetic zippers? Because I am devoid of creativity or writing prowess, compiled below is basically whatever the f*ck I felt like putting in a filler post...

***It is well-documented what fans we are of musical mashups, particularly if they involve the Muppets or Sesame Street. Well, today, I present to you a mashup just one notch below the Sesame Street gold standard (here's some others too if you care to waste time today):



***It's a tired topic, but unbelievably, I think crusty old Charles Krauthammer might have hit the nail on the head with this "Redskins name" column. Though I'm sure Mike "Over 1 Million Dead Horses Beaten" Wise will have a retort in the Post by Monday.

***Further proof that ESS EEE CEE fandom is in fact fanatical...

Confirming @wrightthompson's report. Now 7 LSU RV's in Oxford's Walmart parking lot. It's 10am. Here's 1. pic.twitter.com/31eFwL8auM
— Pete Roussel (@coachingsearch) October 18, 2013

***Some people 'round these parts seem to care about el futbol. Then how about a little something for that crowd, Teej? Here you go - it's the 2014 FIFA World Cup Group Stage Draws Simulator. Let me know when you find us a quality Group of Death.

***The horror. The tragedy. No, not the new sitcom "Dads", but this news out of the ole Bluegrass State: "Bourbon heist | Pappy Van Winkle stolen in apparent inside job". I, being a novice liquor drinker, did not realize Pappy was "one of the nation's most sought-after bourbons", but apparently both zman and rob were well aware of this Pappy story, as similar links were forwarded demanded this be mentioned in a post. Senor Van Winkle sells for about $130 a bottle and is apparently worth “$300 or $400 a bottle” on the secondary market. So, while not exactly the Lufthansa Heist, the culprits are likely going to do quite well for themselves...until of course they get drunk off their stolen product and stupidly brag about it on some social media outlet. It will happen.

I said Mishmash, not Mushmouth...

Gheorghe-pourri Lives

It's baaaaaaaack..."Gheorghe-pourri", the excuse for me to clean up the G:TB editorial drafts. Let's jump right in:

rob:

"untitled"

Something about Pussy Riot and Vladimir Putin's fear thereof

"untitled"

Flat-D Flatulence Deoderizer | ColonialMedical.com http://www.colonialmedical.com/flat-d-flatulence-deoderizer-P-1004.html

Some breaking news from TR, unless he has talked himself down off the ledge:

"Declaring for Fandom Free Agency.  Coming to Terms with My Broken (Sports) Marriage."

It is with a heavy hear that I am officially announcing my break-up from the New York Knicks.  It has been a wonderful ~30 years, but I feel that our relationship is now irrevocably broken, and I must move on.  I would like to thank the 1980's players such as Bernard King, Gerald Wilkins, Marc Jackson and Patrick Ewing who led me to the team, and the warriors who gave this team an image in the early/mid 1990's, including Charles Oakley, John Starks, Pat Rileyand even Xavier McDaniel.  I would also like to thank the players who kept the fire alive in the post-Riley era, which featured ugly (though highly competitive) basketball, notably Larry Johnson, Marcus Camby and Allan Houston.

I have very little to say about this franchise over the last twelve years.  It has been a consistent churn of mid-level talent that bore the stamp of mediocrity imprinted on it by Isiah Thomas.  The team challenged my heart over and over again, and has finally broken it.  I feel nothing for these guys.  A younger, idealistic version of me might still idolize the team and its superstars, but the adult me, with finite free time and finite discretionary income, has decided to take my talents elsewhere.

The constant in the narrative of failure this millenium has been owner Jim Dolan.  I pin the blame for the failure of this marriage squarely on his tubby shoulders.  He has run this franchise like the frenetic spoiled brat he remains in his mid 50's.
s.


I'm pretty sure Rich Danko, Levon Helm and Robbie Robertson are all rolling in their grave over this sacrilege. And Robbie Robertson ain't even dead yet. 

zman wheeling out his hype machine for notoriously humble Kanye West:

"Mighty Healthy G.O.O.D. Music"

Kanye West continues to dominate, this time by borrowing the drum line and a line or two from "Mighty Healthy," one of my favorite Ghostface songs.

There are actually quite a few more items in drafts that need to be cleaned up, but these should suffice for now. Carry on.

More Draft PRETTY Please!

I don't know about you guys, but I was kind of sick at looking at that dude's breasts. If I wanted to spend this evening looking at dudes' breasts, I'd walk into the bathroom, tear off this Indiana State Fair Corndog t-shirt (casual Friday), and stare at my tig ole bitties in the mirror. Therefore, you are getting yet another post in which to comment on Rounds 2 and 3 of the NFL Draft tonight. But wait, I'd be remiss if I didn't leave you with some nuggets from the draft section (re: bowels) of G:TB...a concept column once called "Gheorghe-pourri"...

**Whitney also didn't want to miss out on Filler Week, but unfortunately for him I was too lazy to load this clip up anytime in the last three days. Please, enjoy now. Actually, wait, now I remember what this clip was about. Um, good luck:


**TR left a college hoops post in drafts for a long time entitled"Here's to THE Loser! (and Several Other Losers)". Everytime I saw it I thought it deserved this as a soundtrack, which means I'm posting it, whether it was 21% done or 90% done:
The winner of the 2009-10 0-fer-the-conference award goes to the tri-state area's favorite Jesuit school, the Fordham Rams. The feeble Rams got pasted in all 16 of their conference games this year and finished a meager 2-26 overall. And while the A-10 has gotten some of its strongest press since the Lamar Odom and Yinka Dare days, let's face facts that it's not a brutal conference by any measure. No offense to the alma maters of Lionel Simmons, Jameer and Delonte or the late, great Dare, there are some soft teams in the lower rung of this conference. The average margin of loss was over 17 points in conference play, with only one legitimate squeaker, a 78-76 loss to UMass to start conference play.

After firing head coach Dereck Whittenburg (yes, THAT Whittenburg) in early December, things turned sour up in the Boogie Down Bronx. We salute you, Rams of Fordham. May your fans be allowed to drink away their sorrows in the venerable Dagger John's, the bar that is ingenuously located beneath your home court.

Honorable mention losers:

DePaul: 1-17 in Big East play, 8-23 overall.

Rice: 1-15 in Conference USA play, 8-23 overall. They don't care because they're smarter than you.

Dartmouth: 1-13 in Ivy League play, 5-23 overall. See Rice explanation.
Marist: 1-17 in MAAC play, 1-29 overall.

Toledo: 1-15 in Mid-American play, 4-28 overall.
Air Force: 1-15 in Mountain West play, 10-21 overall. Hard to crush a bunch of pilots that went 9-6 in OOC play.
Bryant: 1-17 in Northeast play , 1-29 overall. Arguably the worst showing in the nation. The Northeast is a putrid conference and the school could barely remain competitive. If you're wondering if your author had heard of the school before March 2010, the answer is a resounding no. The school appears to be located in Rhode Island. Their motto is "The Character for Success." Good for them.

UT-Martin: 1-17 in Ohio Valley play, 4-25 overall. The school is in Martin, TN. It has a friggin'rodeo program. I had no idea it was a rodeo sport. Awesome.

**I wanted to be cute the other day and say "Look, I found John Smoltz, looks like he doesn't want to pitch anymore..."then I got high...
**Finally, I searched the interwebs for the best second round picks of all time, and found a link which I now stupidly deleted, but had these names on it:

QB Brett Favre ’91

DE Fred Dean ’75
RB Thurman Thomas ’88

DE Mike Strahan ’93
RB Roger Craig ’83

DT Howie Long ’81
WR Chad Ochocinco ’01

DT Fred Smerlas ’79
WR Wesley Walker ’77

LB Jack Ham ’71
TE Dave Casper ’74

LB Jack Lambert ’74
OT Dan Dierdorf ’71

LB Rickey Jackson ’81
OT John Elliott ’88

CB Eric Allen ’88
G Steve Wisniewski ’89

CB Lem Barney ’67
G Larry Allen ’94

S Brian Dawkins ’96
C Dwight Stephenson ’80

S Tim McDonald ’87

Wither Darren Sharper?

I'll take "Gheorghe-pourri" for $400 Alex

As any member of the editorial staff will tell you, I drive everyone absolutely nuts each and every day asking for content, though I myself supply very little. I am sure this leads to frustration (and Mark kicking his dogs), the kind of frustration rob feels every time he is turned away at Disney's Dumbo the Flying Elephant ride (but at least your girls wave to you, right?). Anyhoo, I think my constant pestering leads to folks starting posts just to keep me off their back, but the problem with that move is my OC(AD)D kicks in and I want to instantly delete all draft posts within a 48 hour window. Well, I finally reached my "Michale Douglas in Falling Down" stage this morning in regard to all these draft posts, so under the guise of yet another soon-to-fail filler feature I will call "Gheorghe-pourri" I present to you the crap sitting in Gheorghe: The Blog's drafts (well, no longer sitting in there, cause this is the clearinghouse, whatever, you get what I'm saying)...

We start with this - it's the beginning of Mark's Magic preview for this year:

"I was listening/watching some inane sports talk show recently and one of the Talking Heads or Screaming Trees, if you will. Seriously. I can do this all day. Anyway, one these guys starts talking about the Magic and how they're going to struggle this year (struggle for the Magic is a relative term but, yes, that's a possibility) because they have to integrate new players into the system (again, a fine point) and blah, blah, blah. Then, to emphasize his point, he points out that the Magic have lost 3 starters from the team that went to the Finals. That stopped me. Not three. He was right, technically. The Magic lost Hedo, Courtney Lee (still love him...Jerry's gonna love him) and Rafer Alston. That's where it gets tricky. Alston was great at times in the Playoffs and certainly deserves credit for helping get the Magic to the Finals. However, there is no comparison between the impact of a healthy Jameer Nelson and Rafer Alston. Its not even close. Nelson made the All-Star team last year and was murder in the 4th quarter. Everyone seems to have forgotten, or ignore, this fact. Not to play the what if game, but the Lakers got killed by small, quick PGs who could score all year. Aaron Brooks got them in the Playoffs. Parker killed them all year. Nelson too (link). So, doe sa healthy Nelson push the Magic over the top and win that series? I have no idea. I do think its a 6 or 7 game series, for sure. Anywho, might point it is that yes the Magic have plenty of questions. They also have a point guard (who also happens to be the team's #1 leader) who had the best season of his career cut short just days after making his forst All-Star team who then had to watch as his team repeatedly blew late lead after late lead throughout the Playoffs due to poor execution and a lack of palymakers. Then, had the experience of playing The Finals at far less thatn 100% and being somewhat helpless to affect the games in his customary way. What's theis mean? He's going to be more motivated than he's ever been. He's going to push everyone harder and, more than likely he's going to have the best season of his career. He's going to will the Magic to some early season wins while they are still figuring guys like Vince Carter and Brandon Bass i"

Then I stumble upon this doozy of a revelation from TR:
"I slept with Tiger Woods. It was magical. He was tender. We talked about sports. We talked about Cadillacs. We talked about famous alumni from our schools - I told him about working at a bar with the guys from Seven Mary Three and he talked about late night lattes and discussions of early fame in Palo Alto with Danny Pintauro and Fred Savage.

Tiger never called me back. He left me alone, walking bowlegged to the laundromat with soiled sheets in a sack over my shoulder and a crack in my fragile heart. And a rash on my privates.

Damn you, Eldrick."

I think rob intended this to go up right after Veterans Day...not sure what exactly occurred with the non-posting:

"We promise to stop blogging about military issues at some point, but if the following clip of a different kind of homecoming doesn't make you smile a little bit, well, then this might not be the blog for you. Anyone who's ever owned a dog knows this feeling:"

And for anyone who thinks I waste too much time finding links/video clips, you'd be surprised how good the Tiny Dictator is at unearthing internet gems. I believe this is an item rob will be giving some folks for Christmas, and I'm not sure where he was headed with this link, but it's certainly worth a quick perusal.

It appears Dennis had a meeting with Hans Gruber? Dennis, am I interpreting the draft title of this post, "Carl and Mr. Glass", correctly?
"I'm as self-effacing as the next G:TB staffer, but in my "real" life I do occasionally find myself scooped up by the corporate wolves, handed my standard issue sheep's clothing and power-point presentation, and sent off to unnamed Government agencies in attempts to reel back in some portion of the tax dollars they pilfered from me the month prior....
....
....So I walk into the conference room expecting to find men in green suits with stars and birds on their shoulders...and I see these people:"

Finally, I leave you today with a filler video I had left in drafts for days (shame on me)...yep, it's Jared Allen discussing mullets. Enjoy.