zman Bouillabaise

It's back, this time with an automotive theme.

1. Gheorghe has an F40?

The Ferrari F40 is one of the greatest supercars of the late 1980s. It represented the pinnacle of Ferrari's engineering skills at the time and is largely considered to be the best analog car of all time. Only 1311 were made and they are highly collectible, fetching prices over $1 million at auction. Most people keep these things in a garage and never drive it, they just rub it with a diaper.

Remarkably, some guy in what appears to be LA parks his F40 on the street.

There's so much going on here. First there's the green wrap. It's one thing to wrap your Dodge Challenger, but it's a totally different kettle of fish to wrap one of the most desirable cars to ever leave Maranello. Then there's the green duct tape on the hood--apparently that's covering damage incurred when a neighbor ran over the hood with her Toyota Yaris. And then there's the spare tire in the passenger seat.

Someone clearly doesn't take his car too seriously. Does Gheorghe own an F40?

2. Gheorghe lives in NJ?

On my way home from work today I saw this parked in the public overflow parking lot for the neighboring town's train station:

That's a Pantera. Not Pantera. A Pantera, a DeTomaso Pantera. Based on the front bumper it's a 1971, 1972 or 1973. It's worth between $70k and $125k. And it has regular license plates, not historic plates ("QQ" plates in NJ), which means the owner drives it with more than insignificant frequency. And it's parked in the public overflow parking lot for a train station, between a ten-plus-year-old BMW 5 series and a Toyota Corolla.

Someone clearly doesn't take his car too seriously. Does Gheorghe live in Madison? (Probably not, he's too big to fit in a Pantera.)

3. Jerry Seinfeld is not very Gheorghe.

Jerry Seinfeld bought a 1958 Porsche 356A T2 1500GT Carrera Speedster, the only GT Speedster ordered in Auratium Green with black interior (only 13 Speedsters were finished in this color from the factory) for $1.2 million in 2013. Here's the car and the guy who sold it to Seinfeld:

Three years later Mr. Seinfeld sold the car at auction for $1.54 million, along with 17 other cars from his collection. At the auction, Mr. Seinfeld's cars sold for a collective total of $22,244,500. Mr. Seinfeld has been collecting rare Porsches for many years. Mr. Seinfeld is widely known as one of the world's most prominent Porsche collectors and owns one of the world's largest collections of Porsches.

I know all of this and more because Seinfeld sued the guy who sold him the little green car that looks like an upside-down bathtub--apparently it's a fake and the guy who bought it from Seinfeld is ripshit.

In addition to the aforementioned self-aggrandizement, Seinfeld's complaint also states that "Mr. Seinfeld, who is a very successful comedian, does not need to supplement his income by building and selling counterfeit sports cars." I'M JERRY SEINFELD!!!



Stunningly, Seinfeld's automotive $1.2 million purchase was accomplished via a "Motor Vehicle Purchase Order," whatever the hell that means. He didn't have a contract with reps and warranties about the car. I had a tree taken down in my yard for $3200 earlier this year and I had a contract. Seinfeld is either lazy or such a baller that he wipes his ass with $1.2 million. Or both.

I'm going with "baller" or "both" because Seinfeld is represented by Gibson, Dunn & Crutcher. Gibson Dunn represents major multinational companies like Apple, Ford, Deutsche Bank, Facebook, Citigroup, Chevron, Lockheed Martin. I can't imagine they have a partner billing under $900 an hour. And that's who Seinfeld gets to represent him in a $1.54 million dispute.

Someone takes his reputation as the world's most prominent Porsche collector a little too seriously. It pains me to say it but Jerry Seinfeld isn't very Gheorghe.

The Twelve Days of Gheorghemas: Day Two

On the second day of Gheorghemas, Big Gheorghe gave to me:

Two more automotive wormhole websites

And a bald guy and some random hor-seys

My earlier link to bringatrailer.com rousted a surprising amount of interest around here. In fact, I'm not sure what's more surprising: the interest it sparked here, or the fact that I went to college with so many southern guys and almost none of them have any interest in cars.

I think BAT's appeal in this space stems from the unique cars advertised on the site. Sure, there are plenty of 911's and M3's, but when was the last time you saw a Lancia Delta Integrale, a Mercedes-Benz GD240 Wolf, or an Allard K3? Probably never, but all three of those cars are up for auction even as you read this.

So for Gheorghemas I'm giving you two more websites with which to waste your time looking at cars you've never seen, forgotten existed, or that you may or may not be able to afford.

First up is Duncan Imports. Gary Duncan's shop is the largest purveyor of right-hand-drive Japanese domestic market ("JDM") cars in the US and Canada, and they also sell more conventional classics. They're located in Christiansburg, VA, which, according to their website, is right by Rootsy!

Our facility is centrally located within one mile of Interstate 81 and is just 30 minutes from the Roanoke Regional Airport. There are two convenient hotels nearby for your visit and a Cracker Barrel restaurant or Due South BBQ for some great country dining! We hope to see you soon at our Japanese domestic car dealership in Christiansburg, VA!

Perhaps you're wondering what makes a JDM dealer so interesting? Have you ever heard of the Toyota Sera? It looks like this:

"Meh" you might say, "it's just a little hatchback." Indeed. But this is how you open the doors:

This particular Sera is rated by Duncan as a 4.5 out of 5 with 66,000 kilometers (about 41,000 miles) on the odometer. He wants $11,900 for it. This is just the tip of the iceberg. I won't ruin it for you, but I can't encourage you strongly enough to at least look at the Nissans. There is one absolute bucket car in there for me along with a few other Nissans that seem like fun. Duncan also has a huge personal collection of JDM cars and trucks that he lists along with the cars for sale. He has some pretty amazing cars.

Next up is carandclassic.co.uk, which is sort of like an international Craigslist of cars (without any anonymous sex or creepy stuff). People from all over the world list their cars here and the selection is deep--they have 55 McLarens listed for god's sake. The interface is clunky but you can easily find what you're looking for if you have something particular in mind and the scrolling and clicking that go with the clunky browsing make it easy to turn up stuff you've never seen before.

For example, I have a soft spot for French cars and I'm pretty familiar with Citroens ... or so I thought. Did you know that Citroen made a rotary engine? Neither did I. It was called the Birotor and one is for sale in Budapest:

According to the ad:

A two rotor GS was launched in 1973. Dubbed the Citroën GS Birotor, it featured a much more powerful 107 PS (79 kW) Wankel birotor produced by the joint NSU-Citroën Comotor project.
The Birotor version achieved poor sales and was quickly pulled from the market, after 847 units were sold.

The sales were so disappointing that Citroën attempted to buy back and scrap each Birotor, as it did not want to support the model with spare parts. A few of these remarkable vehicles have nonetheless survived in the hands of collectors, many without titles for some time as Citroën did not want to recognize the cars.

As we know it currently, there are for of them to find in Europe.

One of them is for sale after full restoration. GB (UK) registration!

Perhaps your palate isn't as refined as mine and you don't like five-door Wankel-engined French cars from the 1970's no matter how rare. Fine. How about this:

That's a 1962 Ferrari 250 GTO, one of the most desirable cars in the world of high-end car collecting. Thirty-nine were made between 1962 annd 1964. They sell for over $50 million. And they have one on Car and Classic. I assume none of you ball that hard but if you're tempted I suggest you do some diligence before you pull the trigger.

For more than 5,000 times than the GTO less you could get a GT--the former clearly inspired the styling of the latter and the Opel has to be cheaper to insure and maintain.

Because I'm a hell of a guy I'll give you one more Gheorghemas gift, a zstocking stuffer if you will (as opposed to a TR stuffer, did you know that TR stuffs?). ERClassics.com is a dealership located in the Netherlands and they ship directly to various places in the US including Linden, NJ (!). So poke around their inventory, find something you like, and I'll meet you in Linden to pick it up. What more could you ask for? Merry Gheorghemas!

There's a Fowl in my Ferrari?

Joe Flacco's brother, Waka Flocka Flame, has a new song out titled "Rooster In My Rari." It's about a guy in a Foghorn Legorn suit and a Ferrari F430. At least that's what I gather from the video.



Who says mainstream hiphop has stupid lyrics?