Judging Eli

Eli Manning retires this week after a storied NFL career.  It seems like just yesterday he and pop Archie were pulling the somewhat douchey "Eli should be able to decide where he plays" a la Joe and Jack Elway. Ah, the time, she does fly.

Like John Elway, Eli Manning played in the NFL for 16 seasons. Like Elway, he stayed with the same team for his entire career.  (As well they both should have.)

Like Elway, he quarterbacked teams to a pair of Super Bowl victories. He bettered Elway with not one but two Super Bowl MVP trophies.  Giants fans will always have a soft spot in their hearts and their heads for Eli's improbable wins.

Elway: 51,475 yards, 300 TD passes, 226 interceptions, 79.9 QBR
Manning: 57,023 yards, 366 TD passes, 244 interceptions, 84.1 QBR

Eli "Lester" Whitney

Not sure I would have guessed how well Eli measures up against ol' Elwood, for whatever these statistics are worth.

How does Manning measure up against other people in history named Eli?

Well, there's industrialist Eli Lilly, actor Eli Roth, and university benefactor "Dancing with" Elihu Yale.  There are many others, listed here for your convenience.

The one you know best of all from days of old is Eli Whitney.  Mr. Cotton Gin. The reason I get called "Eli" now and again by clever, clever sorts.

There are many ways to judge a man.  You certainly have yours.

But here's how I gauge Eli Manning's ultimate standing in history. One of the dumber, goofier sketches on SNL in the last decade, and Eli performing sans hubris like an idiot in a clip that always tickles my funny bone: