Chris Davis is currently mired in a 0-for-53 slump. That's a slump on steroids, frankly. But let's leave performance enhancers out of this post.
Pal, I know it sucks, but for the good of the internet (and the good of the Teej) I'm gonna need you to hit 0 for 69 next Saturday, April 20th. This will require the Orioles to bench Mr. Davis a few times over the next seven days, which seems like a proper move for a team theoretically trying to win games. Then I need them to insert him in the lineup against the Twins next Saturday night, and whiff so badly Boog's BBQ blows down.
Oh for 69, on 4/20. May the baseball internet gods smile down upon us.
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| Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... |
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| ...hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh |
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