The State of Play: WFCSAGS

When our readers ask, we deliver. Case in point, Z recently suggested I review the current state of affairs for the football clubs Gheorghies support, either of their own volition or because I bequeathed (saddled?) them a side. This is a thing I can do.

Because Z asked, we'll start with his Norwich lads. They scuffled last season in the Championship (English soccer's second division), finishing 13th of 24 teams, but only eight points from relegation in a very crowded mid-table.

The Canaries are a bit better this season, currently sitting in tenth on 54 points with seven matches to play. They won't see promotion this season, but they've stabilized a bit. American striker Josh Sargent came back to MLS after several seasons on the south coast.

And their fans are funny:

Shlara's (and Prince William's) Aston Villa are in the quarterfinals of the Europa League, and currently in the mix for a Champions League berth next season. The Villans have been a bit up and down of late, but their 54 points are good for fourth in the Premier League with seven matches to play.

Fulham are having another very solid season, only four points from a spot in next year's Europa League and all but guaranteed of survival. But they're playing as if they're in their Ibiza Era. The final seven weeks of the season look to be a lot of "ah, well, that's a shame" in footy form.

As for Whitney's Leicester, I suppose that wide eyes emoji might be a good visual reference. The Foxes are currently in 22nd of 24 teams in the Championship. If that holds, they'd be relegated to League One, which...yikes.

Dave's Brentford are quietly buzzing along. The Bees are two points ahead of Fulham, and very much in the mix for a place in European competition next season. Big London and Gheorghie Derby in two weeks, as Brentford host Fulham in a match neither fan base would've expected to matter as much as it might.

Meanwhile, near the penthouse, fancy man Danimal's Manchester City is stalking Arsenal for the top spot in the division. While the Gunners are the odds on favorites to take the title, up nine points at the moment, City did just defeat Arsenal to win the Carabao Cup, the first major trophy of the English year.

Marls was a Newcastle supporter before we had a chance to attach a different label to him, and his lads are stretched. After a decent Champions League campaign, they've stumbled to 12th in the Premier League after a bitter defeat to local rival Sunderland in the Tyne-Wear Derby. Skipper Eddie Howe is bemoaning his club's spending on talent, never a good sign.

The Teej has been a Nottingham Forest guy from way back, to when we used to call him Little John. Forest are having a weird one. Like Villa, they're in the Europa League quarterfinals after defeating Danish power Midtjylland last week. But back at home, they've been in our near the relegation zone for most of the season. Their mercurial (read: batshit insane) Greek owner Vangelis Marinakis has fired three managers already this season.

Forest's win over Tottenham Hotspur vaulted them to 16th place, three points from the drop, but there's real work still to do.

And speaking of Spurs, who I believe count Rootsy and Squeaky as backers, that club is a fucking shambles. One year removed from winning the Europa League, and only a week after being eliminated from the Champions League, Spurs are in 17th, only one point away from relegation. Worse still, they're unmoored and playing like absolute ass. The other teams in the relegation fight have been hardened by their experience at the bottom of the table. Spurs' expensive roster is in no way prepared for what's to come over the next two months - their relegation would be seismic.