Requiem For a Conference

As we approach the midpoint of the college football season and sample sizes increase, it’s worth highlighting the Pac-12 Conference amid one of the great exit interviews in the history of American sports. It’s equal parts series finale of “Breaking Bad” and the homecoming parade in “Animal House.”  

For the better part of the past decade the league was often an afterthought, with a few interesting figures and teams, and telecast windows tailored to insomniacs. Now, with the league preparing to splinter and members scattering like dandelion seeds, it’s in the middle of a glorious, flawed, entertaining mess of a season that drives home the question: how did they f*ck this up? 

The short answer is Michelin star-rated mismanagement and a level of greed that would make Jeff Bezos go, “Daaayum.” All that’s left is to revel in the here and now, and hope they can keep it up. This week six Pac-12 teams are ranked in the AP Top 25, down from seven the week prior. 

As recently as two years ago, the league finished the season with the same number of ranked teams (two) as the American Athletic Conference. Washington and Oregon remain in the top 10 after their sublime taffy pull last Saturday, and Oregon State and Utah are in the top 14. Southern Cal and UCLA, the schools that kicked the realignment carousel into gear, are also ranked even after losses, and Washington State is among those receiving votes. 

And that doesn’t even take into account Colorado, the combination fireworks factory and blowtorch manufacturer that owned the first month of the season, thanks to Coach Wallflower and his made-over roster and a series of unlikely, dramatic results.

The Pac-12 has reigning Heisman Trophy winner and draftnik darling Caleb Williams of USC. It has three of the top six scoring offenses nationally and four in the top 12. It has two of the top three offenses in total yards per game and five of the top 25. It has the top two quarterbacks in passing yards per game – Michael Penix Jr. of Washington and Coach Prime’s second-favorite child or wherever Shedeur ranks this week – and five of the top 15. Three of the top four touchdown passers and five of the top 14 are in the conference. Four of the top 10 quarterbacks in total offense and five of the top 15 work in the league. 

Washington State QB Cameron Ward is 12th in the nation in passing yards per game (296.3); he is merely fourth in his own league, just ahead of Williams, by the way. And Utah’s dynamic playmaker Cam Rising isn’t even in the picture, still recovering after knee surgery. Washington and its No. 3 offense are currently atop the heap under second-year head coach Kalen DeBoer. Huskies’ offensive coordinator Ryan Grubb turned down a job offer from Nick Saban last winter, choosing to return to a room that includes Heisman candidate Penix, the nation’s passing yards leader (383.5 ypg) and deliverer of a lovely ball, and three quality receivers. Oregon has the nation’s No. 1 offense, its own Heisman darkhorse in former Auburn QB Bo Nix, a stable of skill position folks, and a head coach, Dan Lanning, who goes for it on fourth down as if it’s a contract incentive. 

Utah has been the best program in recent years, largely because the Utes play defense (No. 5 scoring, No. 9 total) and are consistently as ruthless as a Russian bookie. USC, on the other hand, might be the college football equivalent of the Stones’ “Emotional Rescue” or “Voodoo Lounge,” brilliant moments on offense coupled with a ghastly allergy toward tackling and defense. Oregon State and Washington State, the two schools left without a chair when the realignment music stopped, are making plenty of noise – the Cougars with an offense averaging 431 yards per game, the Beavers with the No. 12 scoring offense (38.1 ppg) led by QB and former Clemson pinata D.J. Uiagalelei. 

Even the league’s lower-tier programs are in on the mayhem. Arizona took USC to triple overtime before falling, then last Saturday dump-trucked Washington State in Pullman, 44-6. Stanford authored one of the season’s signature moments, erasing a 29-point halftime deficit to Colorado in a 46-43 win aided greatly by the Buffs’ players and coaches. 

With half the season still ahead, it’s likely that there will be cannibalization within the conference. Here’s hoping that the college football overlords recognize that one or two losses in a deep quality league shouldn’t disqualify teams from playoff and major bowl consideration. For years, we’ve been subjected to the tautology that multiple-loss teams from the Southeastern Conference are better than undefeated and one-loss teams from other leagues because of the SEC’s overall strength. Well, since the SEC appears a little down this season, why can’t another conference fill the void, or at least receive the benefit of the doubt? 

Regardless, may Pac-12 football’s final chapter produce an avalanche of yards and points and drama and chaos. Enjoy it while it lasts. Memos to departing members from their new conference homes will come soon enough about the best places to visit in Stillwater, Okla., and the beauty of the punt.