New Jersey News is Weird

I subscribe to a small hyper-local newspaper because I like to see hyper-local news and I like to support newspapers and newspapering.  Sometimes hyper-local New Jersey news is really weird.

For example, there's the article titled, "Budd Lake fire chief arrested, accused of masturbating in ShopRite parking lot in Sparta."  In a nutshell, "Budd Lake Fire Chief Joseph Compano was arrested and charged with lewdness after he allegedly masturbated with his penis exposed while making eye contact with a woman in the parking lot of the ShopRite in Sparta."  Here's the chief under happier circumstances:

According to the article, "Compano told police that he was the only person driving the vehicle and that he went to ShopRite to get lunch and proceeded to eat it while parked in the lot .... Compano denied the allegations, stating had a tray of watermelon on his lap and was eating it with a fork, suggesting that may have been the masturbation motion the woman observed."  I don't know how you eat watermelon, but the way I eat it isn't easily confused with masturbation.  Anyway, the cops pulled the surveillance video of the store and the chief never went in to buy watermelon or anything else so he finally broke down and admitted that he was indeed masturbating in the ShopRite parking lot.  So don't buy groceries in Sparta.

Not to be outdone, a Bernardsville Planning Board meeting generated this headline: "Not quite the application: Nude scenes put end to virtual Planning Board meeting in Bernardsville."  Here's the gist of it:

Around 9:18 p.m., while board members were discussing testimony from a developer’s professional planner, the ‘N’ word was suddenly heard.  

Almost instantly, project site plan drawings on the screen were replaced by a series of scenes of naked men, most of whom were African American, having sex with each other or fondling themselves as loud, pulsating music with repeated use of the ‘N’ word all but drowned out the voices of planning officials. 

After a couple of minutes, the videos and music stopped and the meeting appeared to be back on track.

“That was interesting,” said one of the planners.

“That was more than interesting,” said another.

But then the videos and music returned, and after about six minutes the board opted to terminate the Zoom feed and start over.

When the feed resumed, the videos and music were gone but within a few moments they started up again. Board members and representatives for the applicant, straining to be heard above the noise, mutually agreed to end the meeting and resume at an undetermined date.

I'm not sure why the reporter felt the need to make the aside "most of whom were African American," but I'll give him the benefit of the doubt and assume that it was to provide context for the N word.  Board Administrator Frank Mottola asserts that this was "a professional hack by people who knew what they were doing." I agree that this was the not the result of people who didn't know what they were doing, but I doubt professional hackers spend their time concocting ways to disrupt Bernardsville Planning Board Meetings, choosing instead to concoct hacks that will make them money.  I bet it was a rival Planning Board, maybe Basking Ridge, trying to make Bernardsville look stupid.  Or maybe it was just some kids screwing with old people.

Jersey is weird!  But you probably already knew that.