TR and I have a lot in common. We are middle-aged guys from New Jersey. We are the sons of immigrant fathers who were raised by mothers who divorced said immigrants. We both grew up middle-middle class, but in the bottom tier of that socio-economic strata so we didn't get everything we wanted as kids and from time to time we indulge ourselves with things we feel we missed out on (looking at you, Jets PSL). We now live among upper-middle class people and we're proud of what we accomplished, essentially on our own, and feel smugly (if secretly) superior to those around us who got here with minimal effort. As a result we both revel in our outsider status and brazenly flaunt our contrarian views.
That said, TR gives even fewer fucks than I do. Way fewer. His no-fuckery is downright brash at this point.
TR and I differ in several ways, many of which I learned soon after we first met. For example, TR loves everything relating to the 1970s. The depth and breadth of his knowledge of adult film is astounding--his smut scholarship is nonpareil. And attendees of Pledge Auction 1993 recall his immodesty (no matter how hard they all try).
TR loves PT Anderson movies and he LOVES "Boogie Nights." I mean, he LOVES "Boogie Nights."
TR should drive a 1977 Corvette with a 350 cube, three and a quarter horsepower, four speed, 4:10 gears, ten coats of competition orange, hand-rubbed lacquer, with a dual-plane manifold ... full fuckin' race cams, whoo.
Unfortunately, no such car exists, at least not stock OEM. By 1977, EPA standards had strangled the 350 cubic inch engine down to 180 hp. The go-fast version of the 350 only made 210 hp. There were no other engines available that year. Further, there was no color called "Competition Orange," it was "Corvette Orange."
TR would want the bigger engine. So he gets it.
This C3 is just right for TR. It's brash but vintage. It is simultaneously a workingman's car and a collector's car. Orange is the perfect color--plastered on a C3, it essentially gives his entire neighborhood of German and Swedish black or gray seven-row SUVs the middle finger. But it's still a classic car eligible for QQ plates in NJ so it passes snooty muster. None of his neighbor's dads ever drove a Corvette in the 1970s or 1980s--they were afraid of the guys who did. TR also gets T-tops because, well, they're perfect for TR. Aluminum wheels, no luggage rack. Boom.
Every American man has at least a small part of him that wants to be the louche with the cigarette and the chest hair and the gold chains and the mustache and the sex and the drugs and the rock and roll driving an orange C3 Corvette. And some of them are that guy. It’s fast and brazen and loud and self-confident and I-don’t-give-a-fuck-eriffic. That's what TR should drive.
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This is the greatest series in the history of G:TB.
ReplyDeleteI might have put TR in a 1970 Chevelle SS 454 like the one that Wooderson had in D&C.
ReplyDeleteI already have your car picked out.
ReplyDeleteThomas Jane’s turn as Todd Parker deserves more consideration.
ReplyDeletewe know what car whitney will drive. now we know what axe he will swing:
ReplyDeletehttps://pitchfork.com/news/wilco-are-selling-an-axe-yes-an-axe-and-a-dollar1200-box-set/?mbid=social_twitter
righteous, man.
ReplyDeleteI saw Boogie Nights alone in NYC. I had read an article in the Village Voice that got me excited. I dragged folks out to see it the next night. Never done that before or since - gone to the theater two nights in a row.
ReplyDeleteWell done, Zed. I do love me a Corvette, but my lack of phallic deficiency makes me feel less compelled to buy one. That and my 1-car garage.
That box set with an axe is just weird. And too expensive or I’d buy it.
ReplyDeletewhen i win mega millions this evening, i'll buy a box set for all the gheorghies. we'll have matching axes.
ReplyDeleteIf you're in the market for a C3 (and who isn't?) I would recommend the 1970 because it's the last year of the big bonkers engines and it's the first year of the cheese grater front grille and side intakes. The convertible looks really clean, even when it's scruffy.
ReplyDeleteTR, maybe a specialty license plate can let people know that you're packing a hammer.
ReplyDeleteAnd I agree with Marls - this series is tremendous!
just wait until zman gets to you, rootsy. i'm thinking an international harvester scout is in your future. you can put a lot of band gear in those gas-chugging badboys.
ReplyDeletejust wait until zman gets to you, rootsy. i'm thinking an international harvester scout is in your future. you can put a lot of band gear in those gas-chugging badboys.
ReplyDeletei really liked that comment, apparently. much like i really like the scout.
ReplyDeleteSpeaking of vehicles....just entered an 11 year old Lincoln Town Car - uber. On the radio...On Top of the World by I think Karen Carpenter? This dude is old school.
ReplyDeleteBand gear is part of the calculus for rootsy. I considered the Scout for several Gheorghies but I don't see one in rob's future, at least not in WCSAGD.
ReplyDeleteStanding by for "entered" comments
ReplyDeletehard for me to get into the driver's seat of the scout, z. i understand.
ReplyDeleteworlds colliding this evening in the european basketball champions league, as marcus thornton and banvit play terry tarpey's le mans squad. i'd tell you how each guy is doing, but i can't read turkish, and euro hoops stats websites are more trash than merman's game.
ReplyDeleteThis is a tremendous series.
ReplyDeleteAnd what’s not to love about Boogie Nights? Easily one of my favorite rewatchable films. I was working at a video store (with a porn section) when I came out on video. I may or may not have stolen a copy...as well as some others of, um, lesser production value.
When IT came out on video. I haven’t come out on video just yet.
ReplyDeleteI hope mine is a 2006 Chrysler Town and Country minivan with CD/DVD AND Tape Deck, cause I already have one of those, and I still get tempted when a low mileage one pops up for sale.
ReplyDeleteWe are all here to support you when you do.
ReplyDeleteJust laughed out loud at these comments. Somehow made me think of my favorite line from Heathers: “I love my dead gay son!”
ReplyDelete+5 on greatest series ever. Well done Z.
ReplyDeleteI hoped TR would make a "Tracy I Love You" reference in response to Danimal's "entered" comment but I guess he's lost a step in his dotage.
ReplyDeletei love this series! what a portrait of TR, and he couldn't have earned a cooler car.
ReplyDeleteThis post is excellent
ReplyDeleteMore please
At the Modest Mouse show. In a seated theater. Should be interesting.
ReplyDeletenobody show tr the tribe soccer score
ReplyDeleteModest Mouse is fantastic in concert. They have two drummers. Big sound!
ReplyDeletejayson tatum is almost a fully operational battle station
ReplyDeleteThe pushback from the followers of @wmtribesoccer on Insta has been amusing. No post yet from them on tonight’s game.
ReplyDeleteBill Parcells used to say “you are what your record is.” W&M soccer is 3-8-2. That is terrible.
Fitting that we went 0-3 against the ACC, ending with a 3-0 loss to VTech.
Modest Mouse was packing some fucking muscle a la Melba Toast. They made the crowd wait overlong to both start the show and come back for the encore, and their runtime would make The Boss raise an eyebrow, but like Social D always does, what they pack into a brief set rocks quite large. I’d see them again any time.
ReplyDeleteAfternoon, everybody.
ReplyDeleteI guess everyone hates Modest Mouse.
ReplyDeletei think i just bought a car via text. i hope it's what zman would have me drive.
ReplyDeleteIt's not what I have planned for you but I applaud your efforts. Everyone should own a convertible at least once.
ReplyDeleteWhat’s the car?
ReplyDeleteit's a 2014 mini cooper convertible with 29k miles. reynolds texted me and said he could get it at auction, but the auction was ending pretty soon. i rolled the dice.
ReplyDeleteGood luck with that Rob! I had my dad do my bidding on an auction today with some equipment, computers and other stuff from a print shop that closed last year. I had to balance the "I could practically steal this stuff" with "do I really need it?"
ReplyDeleteIn the end, I ended up with just a couple of nice ladders and a pallet jack. And I don't have to build a pyramid of cardboard boxes in my shop.
Who can turn down a discounted pallet jack?
ReplyDeleteSeems like the gheorghies like auctions. Interesting.
ReplyDeleteWhat could go wrong with a four year old Mini procured by Weenie at an auction, sight unseen?
ReplyDeleteIt’s painted like the General Lee and the horn plays Dixie.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful night in Frisco TX
ReplyDeleteAnd it has an LS1 swap.
ReplyDeletesometimes you gotta say ‘what the fuck’, z. you can’t say it, you can’t do it.
ReplyDeleteBetter be a LS4 with the Mini’s front wheel drive.
ReplyDeleteI agree rob. The Weenie factor just makes it that much more ridiculous.
ReplyDeleteI have purchased 2 vehicles from the Weenie family. No regrets about either one.
ReplyDeleteI purchased one. NO RAGRETS
ReplyDeleteI can imagine the call. “Rob! It’s me! Ahm et in awkshin out in Lynchburg en ah seen a Mini with yer name awn et! Ahm fixin ta git you squared away! Only twinnie gran! You got cash?”
ReplyDeleteHey, Yankee, Lynchburg is known as Lunchbag ‘round them parts.
ReplyDeleteSweet goal by Wayne Rooney last night and another DC United win. Maybe Wayne can coach the Tribe.
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