* If, during a discussion about women, a man tells you that he likes to "grab them by the pussy," you are disqualified from hosting Access Hollywood.
* Asserting that you grab women by the pussy has no impact on your ability to be president.
* When Obama ran as a candidate of hope and change, republicans mocked him:
* When Trump ran as a candidate of change, republicans voted for him.
* Voters picked the candidate from the conservative party because they wanted change.
* Voters thought Clinton was more qualified than Trump--which I interpret to mean that Clinton was believed to be more likely to make good decisions and Trump is more likely to make bad ones--but they wanted change and Clinton was viewed as likely to maintain the status quo; thus, potentially bad change from an unqualified candidate is better than no change at all.
* Voters chose Trump because he would "get things done" despite the fact that many of the things he wants to do appear to be impractical, impossible, immoral, illegal, or combinations thereof.
* Voters wanted a candidate who would help the little guy, so they voted for the billionaire who inherited great wealth and has a history of bending the rules to make money and engaging in sharp business practices to screw over his employees and contractors.
* I'm emboldened to say whatever the hell I want at work--if anyone takes offense I can just say I'm being presidential.
* Beer-bellied white guys over age 45 like to say to me "It's been a great couple of days, huh!" while using the adjacent urinal--I guess there's something about having their dicks in their hands that makes them feel like they can open up to me on their political views.
* How am I supposed to respond to one of the foregoing guys when they ask me if I think the Clinton Foundation is the entity "buying up all these stocks" so that they can dump them and crash the market the day Trump takes office?
* Telephone polls aren't helpful if voters don't answer the phone, or if they don't even have a phone.
* Put another way, market research is useless.
* I don't know how many people on Obamacare voted for Trump or didn't vote at all, but if you're on Obamacare and you didn't come out to vote for Hillary then don't complain to me about anything.
* We should all invest in gold leaf--I foresee some serious decorative alterations to the White House.
* I'm not as bummed out as I was in 2004, I guess I've gotten used to disappointment.
* Speaking of 2004 ... once again, our president is a swaggering privileged wealthy white dunce who can't pronounce straightforward words, invents new words, favors tax cuts for the wealthy and limited government, and has a regressive view of reproductive rights. This worked out great last time around!
* The 2004 and 2016 electoral maps look a lot alike. The ghost of Karl Rove lingers!
* I wonder if hipsters will abandon the shaved-on-the-sides-and-long-on-top haircut from post-WWI and adopt the long-on-the-sides-swoopy-on-top-and-parted-from-the-armpit look from Trump.
* Why don't we still make SDB jokes around here and will we ever do so again now that Bill Clinton is out of the spotlight forever?
* An overlooked first from this election: Melania Trump is the first First Lady to be photographed prone on a fur coat wearing nothing except for high heels and a briefcase handcuffed to her wrist.
* The candidate who bemoaned that the election was rigged before the votes were cast won the presidency despite the fact that he got fewer votes than his opponent.
* If you want to have more of an impact on presidential elections, simply move to Florida or Ohio and vote.
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25 comments:
KT McFarland just said Trump is the smartest guy in the world and compare him to ... wait for it ... George Washington. Fox News!!
Oh vey.
In other news, McSorley's in NYC has had to close for the first time since 1854 due to health code violations, a temporary move until they get rid of the vermin. Am guessing Clarence and maybe even Whitney have made a visit to the institution. On those occasions I get to NY, I try to stop by for a few.
Love McSorley's if only for the fact they boot you out of you ain't drinkin. Not shocked by health code issues there. Shocked it's the first time.
McSorley's is dangerous - you should only go there if you're prepared to really get after it.
NY Times reported that "[t]he president-elect told advisers he wanted to tap Mr. Pence’s Washington experience and contacts to help move the [transition] process along, according to people familiar with the discussions. An executive committee, which will include members of Congress, will advise Mr. Pence as the process moves forward."
Good thing we elected the outsider candidate.
amen, zman. democrats ran an establishment nominee in an anti-establishment election. big mistake.
McSorley's is dope. But dirty. This thing was long time coming.
I appreciate the rationalization of the Trump election and actually don't think he'll be nearly the autocrat he's pledged to be (mostly because he's a lazy doofus) but I do genuinely fear his ability to manage foreign policy and the result of his election from a perspective of how this country views minorities. "Make America Great Again" wasn't just a catchy slogan. It was a call to arms for citizens who abhor powerful women, unapologetic minorities and a sexual orientations outside of the "norm". Those views have, to a degree, been validated at this point. That's a bad thing. A very bad thing. And no amount of convincing yourself that Trump is mostly talk changes that.
I couldn't agree more, Mark. Well put and holy hell, look out. Never felt more in the clear as a white male than I do now, and that is total garbage.
Just put People's Instinctive Travels and the Paths of Rhythm on the turntable. Best I've felt in days. God bless music.
My first year at UF, Tribe played a free show at the on campus bandshell during homecoming weekend. Black Eyed Peas opened up. Pre Fergie BEP. They were really dope. Tons of free styling and break dancing.
Then Tribe came on. They were all wearing either blue or orange tees with the script Gators logo. They proceeded to kill it for two hours. Then they came out for an encore. And dropped "I Left My Wallet in El Segundo". Top 5 University of Florida memory. Top 5 concert of all time.
The Connells played a free show at W&M in 1992 and for the first time in a year we were allowed to have kegs on campus.
DOES NOT COMPARE TO PRIOR STORY
I'll say this for W&M. I spent two nights there on two separate weekends. Two very, very fun nights.
Unfortunate ending in Columbus.
that connells show was fun as hell, but it ain't atcq for two hours.
and mexico just putting an exclamation point on 2016's suckitude.
i believe that we have our work cut out for us
ATCQ played Homecoming 1996 at W&M Hall. FOGTB Slick scored tickets and I rolled down to the Burg excited as hell. They did at most three songs before the Hall lost power and the show was cancelled. W&M!!
Mark's story is orders of magnitude better, yet another reason to go to a big SEC school--fully funded arenas. And El Segundo is a greatly overlooked track and Travels is a greatly overlooked album.
That Miguel Layun guy is pretty cute
(said the cougar)
i laughed, then tried to figure out a response that wasn't as inappropriate as my initial thought. and failed.
Young people's fashion is bringing (relatively) short basketball shorts back. I'm glad I'm not a teenager right now. These thighs, despite growing up on the beach, are far too pasty.
Zman has a point. Open invitation to attend a game in Gainesville for any Gheorghies who haven't already. Looking at you, Bob.
gonna wait until i'm 50 to answer to bob, but i do need to visit my nephew in gainesville. should definitely make that trip on a gameday.
I respect you not being a Bobby, Robby or Bob.
Next year's home schedule includes Tennessee, Texas A&M, LSU and FSU. You won't find a better set of options.
That'd be in the butt, Bob.
If you promise to accompany Rob to Florida I think that dramatically raises the probability, Clarence.
Family culture night - we all went to School of Rock in NYC. My kids did great, except for the 7 y/o, who farted during the show. Wouldn't have been such a big deal, except he was on a hard, plastic booster seat. And a fart on a hard surface makes some noise. He's his father's son.
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