FOG:TB Fat Guy in a Speedo can be counted on to provide us with mirthful and high-quality footie material. Unfortunately, I can't always be counted on to read his submissions in a timely fashion. So, if you will, please pretend you're reading this yesterday morning. (If you actually are reading this yesterday morning, through some fortuitous hot tub time machine sort of thing, I've included some score details so you can place bets.)
It's been awhile since the last kickball update. The collective hangover from a World Cup year tends to bleed over into league football the following season. Players get more injuries after working the summer they tend to have off, fatigue, ennui and general malaise ensue. At least this is the general consensus; realistically not much changes. The powerhouses are still at the top of the tables around the world and the best players continue to perform at the highest levels. Then winter rolls around and the world takes a break from soccer to worship, drink, eat and freeze for a few weeks while players regroup and recharge.
Luckily, England continues to flout the traditions of Europe and the rest of the world and doubles down over the holidays. The Premier League teams will play 4 games over the next two weeks; 3 league games followed by FA cup games. Although this is great for the fans and the league in that football fans the world over only have England as an option, the players probably wish they had time off to heal and hang with their families. But dilligaff to them. Plus, this is a great excuse for England to continually underperform on the world stage in national football events. Here are a few games to watch for those of you who opt to nurse A.M. holiday hangovers watching sports that might end up 0-0.
Friday, December 26th - Boxing Day
7:45 Chelsea - West Ham: Normally a wash, West Ham is actually overperforming this season and sit in 4th place. This makes for a London derby worth watching although Chelsea is on a tear this season and should take 3 points. (Time travel note: Chelsea will, in fact, take all three points, through goals by that bastard John Terry and that stud Diego Costa.)
10:00 Manchester United - Newcastle: After starting off horribly, United have woken up and have won 5 out of 6. This is due to some good coaching by Louis Van Gaal (pronounced Van gHhhhhaaaaaal, if you're Dutch, or if you want to sound like a pretentious prick), former national coach of the Netherlands who took over the helm in Manc after the World Cup. This is also due to the fact that United spent a few hundred million pounds on the world's best players who have been hurt all season (World Cup hangover?) and the ones who aren't will be puking their collective guts out after their first working Xmas in the Premier League. Still, watch United take this one by a few goals. (Past tense betting advice: those wankers in red did take this one by a few goals, winning 3-1on two tallies by pasty asshole Wayne Rooney and one by the suave and sublime Robin Van Persie.)
Sunday, December 28th
Spurs - Manchester United and Arsenal - West Ham (This is all we got from Fat Guy, so hopefully he's reading this and can chime in with something for the punters - he's been on point thus far this holiday season. Of note, however, Seattle Sounders and USMNT back DeAndre Yedlin signed with Spurs this week. So that's pretty cool.)
Monday, December 29th
Liverpool - Swansea is the only option here
Tuesday, December 30th
Spurs - Chelsea (Can't really blame Fat Guy. Writing multiple paragraphs is hard work. Give the man a break, jerks.)
There is a boatload of other games to choose from, most of which will undoubtedly be more entertaining than the ones I recommend. Rob might enjoy watching Championship League (one tier below Premier League) side Fulham play mighty Bournemouth (Note from the future/past: I did not at all enjoy this, as Fulham were trucked, 2-0, and currently sit in 15th in the 24-team Championship, though they are 8 points clear of rele-relegation.) this Friday or Brighton & Hove Albion Monday. Or he might want to upgrade to a Manchester Premier League team that won't give his PC ebola when he streams them online. (My daughter is a Liverpool backer, so I'm living vicariously through her. Thus far this season, Brendan Rodgers' boys have sucked. Nice job, kid.) Salud, nostrovia, happy Becksmas. (And Happy Holidays, ladies)
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30 comments:
nice job fat guy! what's with the anti-white bias from rob?
vermont beer recommendations (so far): rock art american amber and sidewinder.
there seem to be too many local beers in the store for me to try all of them, i will have to bring some back to jersey. a good problem to have.
if you bring me a heady topper to obft, i'll get your wife's rack tattooed on my shoulder.
To match rob's shoulder tattooed on her rack.
I just bought new running shoes--same Nike model I've been wearing for 20 years, with all of the new technological advances...
And they are neon orange, neon teal and black. When are plain/neutral color-schemes coming back? I look like a clown
No, you look fly. All white runners are for clowns.
i'm reading zman's comment to shlara in barry white's voice.
When did Rick Pitino start getting plastic surgery? His face looks like the Real Housewives of Orange County
I survived a visit from zfather and his wife and her sister. I had to overserve myself but I made it through only telling him once to stop being an asshole. I'll call that a success.
Sam Ponder doesn't do it for me.
I just discovered emoji's on our new iPad air that my mil bought for us. 👙👔💪👃👣
On that, any great new apps that you go to every day? News? Sports? Entertainment? Do tell.
The Bloomberg app is free and very good for news. It steers towards the markets, but they have a lot of good top news. In a sea of partisan news providers, they do a great job of independent reporting.
USC-Huskers shaping up to be a good one.
and the iFart app will make your kids (and you) laugh a lot. My wife LOVES that I have the kids using that one.
Rebirth brass band with the DLC. Pre party for marls fest in Nola.
bloomberg? et tu, tr? plenty of great reuters apps out there, danimal. just don't ask zman for a referral.
better cheerleaders in america than southern cal's? i say no.
Id agree.Those sweaters are powerful.
I don't get hating bowl games. Are they all good? Shit no. Has today been entertaining as hell? Yes. Yes. Yes.
The Falcons hired a search firm to help them find a new coach after they fire Mike Smith. Is it really that hard to find an NFL coach? Are there so many viable candidates that you need to hire a firm to troll through LinkedIn profiles? Shouldn't it be as simple as looking for coordinators under fifty who have top five offenses or defenses and a handful of successful college coaches? I feel like you could lock me and the DLC in a room with a case of milwaulkees best and we'd have ten good names in an hour.
And Rex Ryan and whoever else gets fired on Monday?
your job in that scenario would be to make sure the dlc had fresh beers, right z?
Yes. And I would write down the names on a piece of paper.
How many G:TBers are off until the 5th? I have a lunch meeting tomorrow but other than that I'm not accomplishing shit work wise until then.
I too am off until the 5th. zdaughter just started crawling so I assume I will spend most of my time thwarting her inadvertent suicide attempts.
Buffalo beat Detroit, GB, and a Pats team with nothing to play for. They also gave Denver a run for their money in Denver. But they lost to Oakland. They're a fucking enigma. But I'll take 9-7 and the associated updside potential.
zgrandmother just told me "Jeez you're pudgy in the stomach." Merry zmas!
That football team from Washington didn't want any of us to head into the offseason with any sentiment other than "this team is total crap."
Fire Gruden
Fire Haslett
Trade Griffin for some athletic tape or whatever you can get for him
Gut the team as much as you can with the cap
Draft OL and DL
Give Sonny a viking funeral
Strap Snyder to the hood of a Buick and drive to Mexico
Oh, and Bruce Allen and anyone who calls himself or herself an "exec" on this team.
Also, the Skins never used to wear the doofy red jerseys at home. Hated 'em. Ever see Gary Clark in the red? Nope. It sucks. Snyder, how do you not know this? Go away, pipsqueak.
Did anyone else see this in the NYT?
This guy went to W&M
http://www.nytimes.com/2014/12/28/business/how-dreams-and-money-didnt-mix-at-a-texas-distillery.html
i will be 'working' tomorrow and tuesday. my primary objective is to complete day 11 of gheorghemas.
Big Boi currently tweeting about the Falcons implosion is pretty fantastic
john manziel seems like a top-notch teammate and professional.
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