Hey, our men's national soccer team hits the pitch (futbol term!) today for a very important match (another one!), facing international playboy Cristiano Ronaldo and Portugal. The Portuguese were blitzkrieg'd in their first World Cup contest, 4-0 by Germany, while the fightin' fifes and drums triumphed over Ghana and their
lack of giraffes, 2-1. If what the internet tells me is true, a win by the United States squadron advances 'Murica to the Round of 16, which would be like the tits, yo.
*** OK, this now ends the soccer portion of our program...
Since I am 100% sure it was
my GTB post that lifted Dempsey and Co. to victory in match #1, we're gonna ride that patriotic sucka back:
 |
| Stars and Stripes forevah |
 |
| Shlara selection. Here, we see Clint Dempsey moments before murdering someone. |
 |
| Patriotic handling of the meat |
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| Here is Ronaldo flopping. It is not an uncommon occurrence, I am told. |
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| The tie is a nice touch |
*** I could be wrong. I don't actually pay attention to what I read.
that girl on the grill has sweet hamstrings.
ReplyDeletegood job giving the us men something to root for.
Actually looking forward to the women's Open finish in Pinehurst. Yes, I said that.
ReplyDeleteDempsey could play a hit man in the next Bourne movie.
Anyone watching the pending Wie meltdown? I didn't think so. An interesting finish it will be. Was 3 up with 3 left....she just doubled 16. If anyone is watching and heard the chapel bells, that is where Danimal got hitched.
ReplyDeleteI hope she wins. Or rather, "Weins". Lolz.
ReplyDeleteTee shot at the par 3 17th.....good shot....15 feet.
ReplyDeleteI dig her legs. Very long, firm, tan. She makes her way to the green. Queue Rolex, Titleist and Geico commercials.
ReplyDeleteAssesses the line.
ReplyDeleteWill be a left to righter and a bit pacey.
ReplyDeleteShe drains it!!!!! Crowd goes absolutely nuts! Sort of.
ReplyDeleteWie is hot. And that draino on 17 was clutch.
ReplyDeleteA 2 shot lead heading to the par 4 18th.
ReplyDeleteStripes the tee shot....finds the speed slot and it is off and running. She is owning this.
ReplyDeleteKudos to you, USGA. Despite your obscenely overpriced pavilion and general admission tickets, the overselling of those pavilion tickets causing outrageously long and slow concession lines, and the inability or maybe the simple lack of desire to create a better fan experience, my hat is off to you for accomplishing what many thought would be a complete shitshow hosting back to back championships.
ReplyDeleteWie sits 20' away and 3 putts from a career changing victory.
ReplyDeleteLet's call it 18'. Apologies.
ReplyDeleteNice lag.
ReplyDeleteLines up the 3 footer....
ReplyDeleteIt's over! I do dig how these players support one another. Pretty cool.
ReplyDeleteOk....that's the us open....I turn it over to you soccer guys!
Now that's what I call marine biology.
ReplyDeleteClue me in here....what happens if we lose?
ReplyDeleteYuck
ReplyDeleteWhen we lose.
ReplyDeleteThat mohawked dude is a huge faker.
ReplyDeletei believe that we will win. because, frankly, we're better.
ReplyDeleteCan't believe we didn't score. Fuck that guy and his stupid knee.
ReplyDeleteWhat a shot! Kind of came out of nowhere.
ReplyDeleteAnd it was preceded by Ronaldo totally doffing a chip shot. Even better.
ReplyDeleteYEAH
ReplyDeleteYESSSSSSSS
ReplyDeleteDempster fire!
ReplyDeleteHe may have scored that with his nuts.
ReplyDelete4 MORE MINUTES. THAT'S AN ETERNITY.
ReplyDeleteSHIT
ReplyDeleteUn fucking real
ReplyDeleteguh
ReplyDeleteThat was gut wrenching. Fuck.
ReplyDeletei realize the equalizer wasn't his fault (hi, michael bradley!), but it'd make me really happy not to see omar gonzalez on the field for the rest of this tournament. bad things happen when that dude gets on the pitch.
ReplyDeleteA Ghana-Portugal draw is our best friend on Friday.
ReplyDeleteWhat exactly happened to Michael Bradley since he arrived in Brazil?
ReplyDeletethursday, we are all ties
ReplyDeletejust looked at the mlb standings for the first time in a while. how 'bout those nats?
ReplyDeletewhat does danimal win for setting the all time record for most consecutive comments by one person? bronze cast of the teej's dome?
ReplyDeletethat was my norm macdonald impression. pretty good heh?
ReplyDeleteMayhugh spoiled what would have been 16 comments in a row. Thank goodness.
ReplyDeleteThis ned chile half was the most exciting scoreless half of any I've watched. Turn it on if you can.
ReplyDeletei have a soccer hangover, so i can't stomach watching yet.
ReplyDeleteWatched some minor league baseball today in 78 degree weather. Like a sore tallywhacker, it's very difficult to beat.
ReplyDeleteDay drinking in Soho with KQ. Beats workin.
ReplyDeletea cloudless 72 degrees in brewster, ma today. sore tallywhacker here, too. might be doing it wrong.
ReplyDeleteThis photo is interesting:
ReplyDeletehttp://espn.go.com/nba/truehoop/miamiheat/story/_/id/11123737/instagram-post-lebron-james-wife-savannah-james-refers-family-summer-vacation
because:
1. They make golf shirts with button-down collars?
and
2. I expected LeBron's wife to be younger than she appears.
this morning, i helped my uncle and cousin move a 3'x3'x7" granite slab into place to form the floor of the outdoor shower at my cousin's new place on cape cod. this afternoon, i had the first shower beer in said outdoor shower. l-i-v-i-n.
ReplyDeleteMexico deserves to advance. The Croats play dirty.
ReplyDeleteAnd Neymar, like Messi, has that open field gear to create space like so few others. Not a bad day of futbol to entertain me while playing Mr. Mom all afternoon.
TR's playing Mr. Mom, and I'm playing home alone for the next 10 days.
ReplyDeleteWhen you find yourself in that situation, what's the over/under to how long it takes to revert back to habits of your 20 years ago self? Feel free to include units of measure, or don't.
Watched the footie at Legends on 33rd st. Think we made some Mexican friends for life.
ReplyDeletezson just walked onto the kitchen naked but for a tshirt and said "this is a big penis."
ReplyDeleteParty at rootsy's!
ReplyDelete5 hogsheads. I'll take the under.
ReplyDeleteYeah. C'mon down once you finish teaching your son clever new ways to refer to the ample size of his man parts.
ReplyDeleteNot sure how long a hogshead is, but the under is probably a safe bet.
generally takes me about 30 minutes from the time i walk in the door from work, rootsy. that's about how long it takes me to leave a dirty dish somewhere.
ReplyDeleteAdd Asian girls to the list of groups that can't twerk. Next to white women and men over 40.
ReplyDeletehttp://youtu.be/0XfUfR5J-_k
At least she won a championship this weekend. So she has that going for her.
yea though we walk through the shadow of the valley of die mannschaft, i have no fear, for clint dempsey walks beside us.
ReplyDeletesince i've been gone we're tending towards kiddie porn?
ReplyDeleteLuis Suarez, three times meaner than Tyson?
ReplyDeleteA player from Uruguay took a bite out of an Italian player, for realz?
ReplyDeleteI watched that bite but didn't realize what was happening until I googled "Uruguay bite" just now because the broadcast was in Spanish. I thought the Italian guy was showing off his shoulder hair.
ReplyDeletesuarez bit someone else? this is not his first vampire rodeo.
ReplyDeleteWe had a biter on the soccer team Cliffy and I coached. He was 6.
ReplyDeleteOver/under on black people who like Phish?
ReplyDeleteJust Khalil?
ReplyDeleteDid he like them? I remember tripping him out to Zappa's 'Hot Rats' in the summer of 95 at the old Bryan Ct. house Zman and I inhabited.
ReplyDeleteI also remember his continuing rebellion over the goddamned jazz his old man used to subject him to in the car.
I set the O/U at 69.
ReplyDeleteThat house was a fiasco.
ReplyDeleteYou sure your period isn't in the wrong place, Zed? You could be right, but that's a lot of rocks to turn over to get to the magic number!
ReplyDeleteIt was a fiasco indeed. I distinctly remember the present left for us just before the water got turned off by the previous tenants, and your mosquito repellent strategy with the puddles out back.
ReplyDeletedoes anyone remember if the original lead game was played in daytona? clarence? rob? pip?
ReplyDeleteAnd the exploded pipe in the bathroom. Which was covered in mold. And the big honey in Johnny Bonghit's room.
ReplyDeleteI must have split town before the exploded pipe. I do remember the big honey in JB's room, who later ended up in the top floor bed in ol' 308, without any real action tho'.
ReplyDeleteyes, dave. the original version was played in daytona. pip couldn't have been less happy about it.
ReplyDeleteYes, Daytona hotel room, Dave. Pillow became made of lead. Trapped us and precluded us from going to the Desert Inn for the sixth night in a row.
ReplyDelete