Saturday, June 21, 2014

There But for the Grace of God

On August 31, 2011, Daniel Bard was one of baseball's most dominant setup men. The hard-throwing right-hander handled the 8th inning for the Boston Red Sox, keeping opponents at bay far more often than not before handing the ball to Jonathan Papelbon. Bard, then 26 years old, was widely expected to be Boston's closer of the future, except by those in the know that figured he'd find his way to the top of a rotation that also included Jon Lester and Clay Buchholz. He pitched a scoreless 8th in a win over the Yankees that night, striking out one and lowering his ERA to 2.03.

One week later, Bard walked three and allowed five earned runs in a loss to the Toronto Blue Jays, starting a chain of events that culminated earlier this week with his release by the Texas Rangers. In 11 innings that forgettable September, Bard walked nine batters, allowed 13 runs, and was charged with four losses, spiraling out of control as the Red Sox similarly spiraled out of contention.

Bard posted a 1.736 WHIP in 2012, walking 43 and allowing 60 hits in 59.1 innings. He only appeared in two games for the Sox in 2013, making his last major league appearance on April 27, 2013.

Claimed by the Cubs and then waived, Bard was diagnosed with Thoracic Outlet Syndrome and underwent surgery in February before being signed by the Rangers.

He faced 18 batters this spring for the Rangers' Single-A Atlantic League franchise, the Hickory Crawdads. None of those batters got a hit, and only one of them put the ball in play. But 16 of them reached base, nine via walk and seven via hit by pitch. Bard's 175.50 ERA and 13.50 WHIP are among the saddest, most cringeworthy numbers this side of Steve Blass and Rick Ankiel.

"Of all sad words of tongue or pen," wrote John Greenleaf Whittier, "the saddest of these, 'it might have been'". Watching someone tumble from such heights threatens us with our own sense of emotional vertigo - if that could happen to someone among the most elite in his field, what might happen if we stop delivering spotless TPS reports? Baseball mortality mirrors our own, forcing us to think thoughts we prefer to leave laying quietly unthunk.

Daniel Bard pitched for parts of five years at baseball's highest level, so he's not likely looking for our sympathy. But we're rooting for him to figure it out, because his potential redemption means we've got a few years left, too.

68 comments:

  1. wow--heavy stuff for a Sat AM.

    on a lighter note--Marls, I'm in for the Capital Classic on NYD--working on tix.

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  2. zson is the Daniel Bard of potty training.

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  3. Ahhh, Rob heads off to the Cape and we begin the thoughtful, introspective, literary portion of our program. I am looking forward to the post on the protestant work ethic through the prism of a glass of Ron Z...some real John Irving level stuff.

    Shlara: Good stuff on the Capital Classic, keep me in the loop.

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  4. mostly, marls, i get maudlin when i get drunk by myself. so, yeah, deep thought kinda shit in the forecast.

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  5. hope solo seems like a sweet person

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  6. I get drunk alone often, and with great relish.

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  7. Messi is doing a hell of a job getting Argentinians to love him.

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  8. TR drinks relish. Mustard too.

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  9. messi drinks lion's blood

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  10. Teedge drinks Liono's blood.

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  11. we're all germans this afternoon, friends. except greg.

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  12. There's a guy at this bar watching soccer who looks like Riff Raff. Well, not so much his looks but his beard, hair, clothing and jewelry.

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  13. Apropos of nothing, fuck spinach.

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  14. Which results in creamed spinach?

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  15. spinach tastes good, man. what's your beef with spinach?

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  16. I was forced to eat canned spinach as my vegetable du jour often as a child (we were kind of poor when I was in elementary school...powdered milk and such). I've had a disdain for it ever since. Last night the wife and I ordered some baked oysters as an app. They featured spinach, among other things. I haven't had spinach in years but thought the oyster, cheese, onions, etc. would drown it out. Nope. Could barely finish one baked oyster. So, once again, fuck spinach.

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  17. I love spinach as the base for a cold salad. I love sautéed fresh spinach with garlic, and I love creamed spinach. In fact, I sometimes buy extra creamed spinach from Boston Market and throw it into an omelet the next morning.

    But I hear ya on canned spinach.

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  18. canned spinach is an abomination - i can see where you're coming from. but fresh spinach with a little bit of bacon and some tomato and red onion? that shit is tasty.

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  19. Ruud can Nistleroy looks like he can't wait for his next Brazilian orgy.

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  20. Yeah, I enjoy baby spinach in a salad but can't get past my issues with cooked spinach no matter how I've tried. I don't like to be a "I hate that food" kind of guy but my childhood ruined some things (spinach, Lima beans, corn niblets) for me.

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  21. Gym for a 4-mile run at 5:45 AM, took boys to karate, went food shopping and then mowed the lawn. Enjoying some couch time and a Summer Shandy.

    Schweinsteiger!

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  22. Lima beans is a polarizing food. I'm a succotash guy myself.

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  23. I can't imagine what Ruud's threshold is for a good time. Dude was a stud for Man U, Real Madrid and the Dutch national team. He probably kissed a couple girls and went to 1-2 European parties in his day.

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  24. My Mom made sure we had vegetables every night growing up. Like I said though, we were kind of poor so it was rarely, if ever, fresh vegetables. It turned me off on all kinds of veggies. I've come around some as an adult and I love salads but some of that damage is irrevocable.

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  25. Agreed. Ruud's probably lived a fairly enjoyable life.

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  26. Teej - any word what Eddie from Ghana is up to these days?

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  27. i eat a whole lot of stuff i never would've considered when younger. but lima beans are shite. good beets, tho, are a revelation.

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  28. I hated pickled beets as a kid. Love them now. Wife and I cook up brussel sprouts quite a bit too. Olive oil, garlic, salt and pepper and bake the fuckers for half an hour. Grilled asparagus is our summer staple.

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  29. My wife loves brussel sprouts. They don't do much for me. Asparagus with some blue cheese is cool.

    Nothing beats corn on the cob for me.

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  30. Fun start to the second half.

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  31. i know i'm supposed to root for germany but i can't.

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  32. brussel sprouts with maple syrup and bacon works. not sure if those ingredients negate the healthiness of the brussel sprouts . . .

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  33. Oh man, Eddie from Ghana...I'm gonna guess he went back home and is some sort of kingpin.

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  34. My mother ruined Brussels sprouts and cabbage for me. It's irreparable. But I love asparagus and parsnips. I like peppers but they give me abominable gas.

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  35. I eat roughly one million times more vegetables now then ever before, thanks to Jess. Which still isn't very good given the almost nonexistent amount of veggies eaten for the first 35 years of my life.

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  36. this world cup is the gift that keeps on giving! did he have that planned?

    if we really believe we will win, then let's knock germany out of the knock out round.

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  37. That's an enjoyable dance by Ghana.

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  38. We're potty training zson with some batshit crazy method a neighbor gave zwoman. There's piss everywhere. Vast puddles of the stuff. No idea how someone so small can make so much nitrogenous waste.

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  39. Anyone who says "We're all Germans today" clearly doesn't have immigrant parents.

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  40. you should try diapers. they work pretty well until the kid decides to pee into the toilet (although even once they decide, they only get 50-60% of the urine into the bowl).

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  41. how about a card for douche move by joachim low?

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  42. That was odd. And, yes, pretty douchey.

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  43. you certainly can't say that in my town . . .

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  44. you certainly can't say that in my town . . .

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  45. Joachim Low could never get this low. Joke for at most one.

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  46. Z, Here I go, deep type flow

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  47. TJ just proved Zman wrong! Jacques Cousteau is proud.

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  48. Spinach. Yeah.
    Blue cheese. FUCK YEAH. My wife and I will often bring it into the bedroom.

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  49. You need to get some Humboldt Fog if you're into cheesy bedroom escapades.

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  50. Back to the hipness of these stadiums vs ours....what's up with that? Aren't we, America, the best at everything in the world? Or am I just another ethnocentrist?

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  51. I ponied up and bought Lego Movie in HD for my On Demand library. My kids watch it every day and it (mostly) sedates them. Best $21.99 I've spent in a while.

    Zman - don't be afraid to bribe the kid to train him. Lollipops may do it. And remember what Dave said - on his best day as a boy, he'll get 69% or less of his pee in the bowl. My wife laments that our toilets smell like the Port Authority. I am as much to blame as my kids, although she doesn't know that.

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  52. We're using dark chocolate covered pomegranate seeds as the reward. Still have more shit on the floor than in the bowl.

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  53. Anybody other than me watching (or watched) the TV version of Fargo? I'm a fan. I was a little skeptical because I love the movie so much. I'm now halfway through the season and totally in.

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  54. Not yet but I'll check it out. I've seen three episodes of Penny Dreadful and it is indeed dreadful.

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  55. Have entertained the idea of starting that series.
    Louie is highly recommended...I always liked watching it but this season it has become something more. Very good story writing.

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  56. I enjoy Louis immensely. A very different type of show. A comedy, but not really. The story telling is terrific.

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  57. As I understand it, Fargo is going to be like True Detective. A story all told in one season and then they wipe the deck and start anew the next season.

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  58. Hello Georghies. Top O' the mornin to ya.

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  59. Last Saturday night in NYC has been slightly aggressive.

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  60. futbol filler/open thread post is up

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