While our diminutive founder searches for ways to work hemlock into every dish his in-laws eat, he found time to send me this link with his tiny little fingers. A clip entitled "The Science of Morning Wood" seems like something we might all enjoy:
And good luck with the poisoning, rob.
[clip via Andrew Sullivan at The Daily Beast]
Saturday, November 24, 2012
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117 comments:
recommenting from the previous post:
my sister in law is letting her 3 year-old play with adult scissors.
...which of course makes you jealous, as your hands are too tiny to work adult scissors.
why is gheorghe not happy with me?
natch
because you misspelled his name
also, danimal, from the post below - email me your phone number. we will need to chat during tonight's ND/USC game at some point
Will do.
Not a great feeling about tonight.
And baby just sneezed all over this iPad.
Just got a txt from buckles who is childless and tailgating w wife in columbus....expecting 300k there today
Oh...and I gave myself a buzz cut last night.
pics or it didn't happen
father in law is insisting my stockbroker brother in law teaches him how to trade options. no way this ends horrifically.
Reposting my comment from the last post"
Ask your mother-in-law if she ever had two strikes on Rico Petrocelli. That's how the story starts. "Did you ever have two strikes on Rico Petrocelli? No? Well I did. I was a freshman at Brooklyn Tech ..."
our next post will simply be reposts of our comments from the previous post
my wife is mocking me for taking my ipad to the shitter. does not everyone take their ipad to the shitter?
I don't have an ipad but I'm sure I'd shit with it if I did.
iPad. Shitter. Always. That is why they were made.
I wish I had an iPad to read on the shitter
Rob...can u email me tj's digits....his email not popping up on iPad and I am not about to turn on computer.
Because you're shitting.
done and done, danimal
qpr sacked sparky hughes yesterday. sorry, mark.
perhaps not coincidentally, they lead man u this afternoon.
boy, did i jinx that. dumbass.
barn burner in the shoe
we can talk shit about the gators here, guys - mark's still yammering on in the last thread.
I'm reading this post on the shitter with my iPad. And this is a regular occurrence in my household. So you can pass that along to your wife, Rob.
You can't anymore, Rob. Actually you can. I can't do anything about it and I fully expect Florida to lose today.
Teej...shoot me an email
Danimal, done.
My 2 year old daughter can fart with anyone.
clarence and i got together, but we didn't figure anything out
My stomach is upset right now. Can't tell if it's because I drank beer, whiskey and tequila yesterday or because of the Florida-FSU game. Probably a little of both.
does any coach in history owe more to one player than chizik does newton?
Zwoman walked in on the final scene of Dune. I've never seen such disdain and confusion all at once.
cause your pants were around your ankles?
The worm! Grambling/Southern battle of the bands!
No one does halftime like HBCs.
Raphael Saadiq, pushing Priuses?'
eddie lacy, strong like bull
Rooting against Notre Dame is as fun as rooting for any of my favorite teams. No offense to you fans out there. Can't wait to see them choke out in SoCal.
On the topic of USC, I work with a guy who is a huge booster of the program. His dad was a founding partner of Cap Guardian, a monster investment firm, and a USC alum. He named his son Troy. The guy retired to zoom around Europe in his 145' yacht. Troy is a bachelor with a loft in San Fran and a beach house in Malibu. He drives his Range Rover in San Fran and his $120K Mercedes in LA. He pretty much works b/c he needs something to do when he's not partying with the USC cheerleaders. For real. Sometimes life is not fair.
But would you want to live such a shallow unearned existence, as opposed to spending quality time in the emergency room?
this doesn't suck. at all.
I have a terrible feeling about nd game. This uf fsu game is gettimg interesting. OLEARY if you did not know is Jack Nicklaus' grandson.
wow, saban is a dick. excellent.
top this week of gluttony of with a shit ton of sushi and sake? don't mind if i do.
Boomer sooner pulled that win out of their ass. And Mark, congrats.
Mark will be rooting a bit harder for Lane tonight.
This is like waiting to go into surgery.
Gators. Gators. GATORS!
I'm really, really happy right now.
Thanks, Danimal.
Tried to explain to a friend as we drank beers why I was pulling for the Gators:
"Well, I don't usually root for Florida, but I have this friend Mark who's a huge fan, so sort of..."
"College buddy?"
"No, uh, we have this, uh, blog, and . . . uh . . ."
[not registering at all]
"Never mind."
"Yeah."
So I guess this game is going to start at 9? 930?
dune . . . no jokes in that book.
good luck to you irish fans. i'm intrigued by the possibility of a bama/notre dame championship. provided the tide can get by georgia, of course. which ain't guaranteed by any stretch.
I smell turnovers
I just saw on the Holtz twitter feed that Mark May has to wear a leprechaun costume. Isn't that enough to root for the IRish?
Golson can throw it.
Irish. Yes. Good. Do more of that.
Ugh.
If Wittek asks, Brent will certainly let him put it in his mouth later.
domers getting a bit touchy, eh? implied priest joke completely unintentional.
No you dih'n
mother in law just came in from dinner, asked if we really intended to keep watching the game. pretty sure the forthcoming assault is gonna be justified.
Rob's in laws <<<
Thank You for pulling for the Gators, Clarence. I had numerous similar conversations while trying to explain to people why I was going to DC for TJ's wedding this summer. There's really no way to call someone your 'internet friend' without sounding like a total creep.
Sorry to change the topic, but this is a hilarious comment from a Jets blog:
"Rex Ryan is like a guy with a bunch of badly behaved dogs (players). He loves his dogs so much. The problem is that they keep crapping in the house. Everybody in the house is miserable and everybody who comes over and views the house is disgusted by what they see and smell. Everybody but Rex.....who loves those dogs......and keeps cleaning up after them.
Rex has gotten used to the odor and loves the dogs anyway. There aren't any consequences for the dogs. As a result the dogs keep crapping in the house
Bellicheck house breaks his dogs and he learned from Parcells not to put up with any CRAP.
He trains his dogs and instills discipline and a sense of purpose! Bellicheck isn't afraid to put a really bad dog to sleep......and the dogs KNOW this
There's a thing called discipline and that comes from the coach.....and the 2012 Jets don't appear to have any....."
oh, wizards
Found a bottle of Crown Royal in back of my liquor cabinet. An odd Xmas present last year. Have to say it's not bad. And it don't cost nothing.
I've also been working through some leftover Makers. Have to say that I prefer my Johnnie Black to North American brown liquor. No offense.
No offense taken. I prefer good bourbon like Pappy, Black Maple Hill or Colonel EH Taylor but its easier and cheaper for me to keep it with Crown or Makers for regular weekends.
M old man drinks scotch and I don't hate it but I prefer bourbon. That's what happens when you grow up in the south.
Really want a USC TD here.
Why does a kicker need eye black?
Why does anyone really need eye black?
Matt Elam made turf angels on the field in Doak Campbell tonight.
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/A8g_RnVCcAAGDrw.jpg:large
Oh noes...
hey now
I don't see how Manziel is remotely worthy of the Heisman. Good (but not insanely good) numbers for a 2-loss team. Te'o has a much more impressive résumé, IMO.
I brined an organic bird and made 9 side dishes. MIL ate turkey and bread refused to even try anything else. Gave 1/2 of turkey/bread to the dog. I was upset--but then started giggling remembering her telling me how great Sandra Lee is....the woman who has an actual show on the food network by opening canned ingredients.
If the kid just turns around he picks it off
Agreed. It's like people have forgotten that he lost and was shut down in the second half against LSU and Florida. He's had a very good season but not god enough to be the first freshman to ever win a Heisman.
shoulda put ketchup on more things
Kudos to Teej for trying my cooking.
Nice late in law story. Apple doesn't fall far from the tree, evidently.
Brian Kelly looks like the dad from Teenwolf.
I spoke too soon. Good for Teej. You are expanding his horizons.
Unrelated: GO GATORS!
This is some of the worst play calling and clock management in the history of mankind.
I'm pretty sure he was just rebelling by trying everything. I appreciate the rebel.
manziel and jessica.
aaron murray has had a better year than manziel.
Why did Kiffin go for it there? A FG is disappointing, but the only logical choice there.
Lane Kiffen is my new bff
Irish, wow.
And I loved all the food made. And have been eating it for 3 straight days.
Holy shit. Six chances from the one. Heavy jumbo offensive set every time. No play action until the "trick" 4 down play. Good Lord, Lane Kiffin is a fucking boob.
I pooped when I saw them go for it...wtf?
Joe Theisman!
Calm down, Herbie. He's about to toss Te'o's salad.
Kiffin ate a massive dick on that drive. I know it's tough w/ a redshirt frosh, but that was a shitshow of a drive.
Kiffin < Rich Kotite
Lane Kiffin's play calling was embarrassing. How do you not go empty or play action before 4th down? Notre Dame is built for short yardage run plays. Kiffin's awful.
I'll take the Sugar Bowl. And be damn pleased with it.
Why is there a guy with a sledgehammer? And how can Brent say "put the computers away"? How does that make sense for Florida, Oregon or K State?
Sledgehammers are cool.
I am drunk.
I ate about 2 pounds of spinach dip at my neighbors. Former tribe rugbist and lammie.
What is really extra funny about the lane fuck up was the timeout he called as his team was scoring a touchdown. See ya Laner!
What is really extra funny about the lane fuck up was the timeout he called as his team was scoring a touchdown. See ya Laner!
That was particularly, Laneish. I am also drunk and listened to the Kendrick Lamar album (again) after the Florida-FSU game tonight. Still dope.
No one liked my mustache. It was a social hindrance. But my shoes and music were better than everyone elses's. Turns out flaming asshole is a true story. Boogie Nights is on! Juan Carlos bailed.
Teen Mom is not available on demand. We have a problem in zhome.
Boogie Nights is one of my all time faces. Spending holidays with Z and the fam is on the bucket list. Good booze and better music. I look forward to it.
Faves instead of faces, natch.
Kendrick Lamar: Drank.
mother in law closes out a tour de force holiday performance with a thorough criticism of my sister in law's kids. who are 4, 4, and 3. the crowd roars.
Sounds like she deserves a clampunch.
Chelsea - Man City on at 11 AM ET. Should be a great match.
Klampunch?
and one final 'ha ha' for gene chizik and auburn.
/muntz
pretty tasty mid-on-mid crime happening in the old spice classic final. davidson and gonzaga close at the u12.
also, hot canadian on canadian action in the 100th grey cup on nbcsn. argos all over the stampeders at the half.
are the green bay packers headed to obft xv after this game?
mustache-o-rama.
toronto argonauts, the team of pinball clemons, are your 2012 grey cup champions.
I love science and the relations to the tent pitching morning wood is wonderful. Amanda Vanderpool
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