Soundtrack of a Season, Part 1: The 2011-12 Washington Wizards

The 2011-2012 Washington Wizards are bad. Historically bad. "Worst start in franchise history" bad (which actually is hard to believe, right?). The Wiz just got worked in a home-and-home with the Philadelphia 76ers, and are now a stellar 1-11 this season. I'll stop after this note, and get to the fun stuff: the Wizards have one win. EVERY OTHER TEAM HAS AT LEAST THREE.

In other words, Washington needs to spice things up, ans I have a suggestion. Intro songs for each  individual player. As chosen by me. These songs should also be played anytime the Washington player appears on the Jumbotron. Ted Leonsis, I hope you're listening...

You 2011-2012 Washington Wizards roster, set to music (Part 1** of how ever many I actually do):

#7, Andray Blatche, F
For some asinine reason, Ernie Grunfeld and Flip Saunders felt it wise to name Andray Blatche the captain of this team. For that alone they should both be dismissed. I found the perfect classic rock tune to remind us of the epic #BlatcheCaptaincy every time his sulking, doughy mug is showed on the big screen.


#22, Shelvin Mack, G
An extremely lazy selection by me, showing no creativity by me, other than the ability to match a last name to a song in a contrive filler post. But I do enjoy the jam. And it will now be stuck in your head all day.


#24, Jan Vesely, F
The final entry today is the easiest of all. Watching Jan Vesely run around like a goofball is one of the few enjoyable things about this Wizards team. I want to hear this theme 6 to 9 times a game.

 

**I am lazy as sin, so you only get three players this time around. rob demanded filler, so this is what you're getting.