The NFL playoffs start today! My beloved Bills kick off at 1:05 pm against the Colts. Both zkids will be out of the house until 2:45 so I will be able to enjoy most of the game without being heckled for food or Robux.
I'm a little nervous. Josh Allen played amazing football this year, but the last time he played in a playoff game he took at least 18 months off my life with this play:
And I'm not being hyperbolic. Apparently I made all sorts of loud crazy/angry noises, prompting zwoman to run into the room. She found me on my knees, pulling my hair, with my face tomato red like our friend ED209. I blacked out for a few seconds of that tantrum. My cardiologist wasn't happy.
Hopefully Allen won't do stupid stuff like that today.
The other angst-inducing aspect of this game is the Frank Reich factor. When I raised this issue to a few friends from high school, my boy Lumpy Kris, aka Willie Lump Lump, posited "Frank Reich should walk onto the field with his cock out!!! I'm Frank Reich, I own this place!"
The Colts are kinda vanilla, they don't do anything particularly well on offense but they average 28.2 points per game, good for ninth best in the league. Their defense allows the tenth fewest points per game, so they're well balanced. This might not be an easy game. Hopefully Reich keeps his cock in his pants.
Watch along with me and mock me in the comments.
Go Bills. Rooting for you. Don’t blow it.
ReplyDeleteHIRE A PROFESSIONAL HACKER FROM CONTRACTHACKERS TODAY!
DeleteWith the invention of smart phones, its now a modern phenomenon to hire a hacker to carry out some discreet and non discreet service. We have heard statement of ” I need a Hacker urgently to change my grades, need for hacker to recover my money, hire hacker to hack a website and more more question. The answer to this questions are yes, hacking is possible.
We give 100% guarantee and offer you best value you can't get from anywhere.
SCAMMER ACTING AS A LOVER:
You got scammed by a scammer acting as a lover?
Talk to us with tangible details. We will help you recover your money and more!
CHEATING PARTNER:
Afraid your girlfriend is cheating on you? CONTRACTHACKERS can get you into her email and social media accounts; that is, if you don't mind sliding past legal or ethical boundaries.
PHONE HACKING:
If you're looking to monitor an iPhone or an Android device, you can use some rooted application like the Copy9app to hack and monitor the phone. The app has a paid version (not sure of the price now).
Copy9 comes with 18 different features, including GPS tracking and sound recording. The app tracks the hacked phone's information even when the phone's offline, and once it's connected to the internet, all tracked info is uploaded right into your account.
A downside of the app is that you need to have the target phone in your hand to install the spyware app onto it. But When you hire a hacker from CONTRACT HACKERS, He can access any phone remotely from anywhere in the world with more features than any application!
INSTAGRAM HACKING:
To get unauthorized access to an account on Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat, or other social media platforms, HIRE A HACKER FROM CONTRACT HACKS TODAY!
ONLINE BANK HEISTS:
Hire CONTRACT HACKERS TODAY for any wire transfer as long as you have the details of the account you wanna rob. You'll pay CONTRACT HACKS 5% of the money you drain from a bank account in return for US getting you into it.
RECOVERY OF STOLEN OR SCAM FUNDS:
Were you scammed of your hard earned funds? Common, what are you waiting for? Hire us to recover all lost funds and more!
You know, ONE UNIQUE THING ABOUT US IS THAT EVERY HACK DONE BY US DOESN’T GET TRACED BACK TO YOU! We erase every steps and loopholes after getting in!
Contact us today. We got a lot to offer you!
contracthacks@gmail. com
Cheers!
WFT getting 8 from Tampa tonight. This game could easily be 38-3, this game could come down to it. Brady in the playoffs, 11-5 manhandling 7-9, and a teachable moment for a rookie talking too much is the most likely outcome... but I still think there’s a remote chance the Team could surprise.
ReplyDeleteWith the rise of the popular new Danish cartoon, I hear some men are less confident to walk into a situation with their cock out.
ReplyDeleteyour tribe 1.5-point home favorites agains delaware this afternoon. that’s all i’ve got to say about that.
ReplyDeleteNot me, Rootsy!
ReplyDeletethat really should been a post, rootsy.
ReplyDeleteStill can be
ReplyDeleteTribe on TV down here in SEVA. Beats watching Zman’s boys choke.
ReplyDeleteCowher looking quite dapper. The pocket square matching the shirt and the blazer color are a good look.
ReplyDeleteI wonder if I’ll ever wear a blazer again. Pretty sure I no longer remember how to tie a tie.
I’m quite nervous for the Tampa-Washington games. Has all the makings of a huge upset. Zman and I have sent many texts re: both of our teams games. I wish I didn’t have to wait until 8:15 for my game.
ReplyDeleteAnd, of course Zman has a friend he nicknamed Willie Lump Lump. Shoutout to one of my top 5 favorite movies of all time.
NFL stadiums (stadia?) sure love playing Creeping Death on 3rd down.
ReplyDeleteAllen’s an exciting player. In every sense of the word.
ReplyDeleteI've been waiting for that for 25 years. I'm glad that game is over, much more nip-and-tuck than I wanted.
ReplyDeleteNow I'm rooting for Pittsburgh. Hi Shlara!
ReplyDeletezed man!
ReplyDeletetribe finishes the game on a 13-4 run to steal their first caa win of the year. not going winless in the league!
ReplyDeleteFlorida-Kentucky followed by a Bucs game I’m not super confident about. Oh, and my wife is out of town. Thankfully, the kid just wants pizza for dinner.
ReplyDeleteMark, you can breathe a little easier since Alex Smith is out. Sad end to an inspirational comeback season for him.
ReplyDelete...but Taylor Heinicke, baby. Pride of ODU.
ReplyDeleteI know, I know. It’s ODU. But he did once throw for 730 yards in a game. And won the Walter Payton Award. And had career stats of 132 TDs to 39 INTs and nearly 15,000 yards.
I know. I know. But a boy can dream.
I’m a Bucs fan. I never breath easy. Save for a very short run we’ve been somewhere between god awful and mediocre for my entire life.
ReplyDeletewhich one of you asked for the hacker?
ReplyDeletetribe game tomorrow vs delaware is cancelled because the blue hens only have 5 healthy scholarship players (injuries, not covid). we're now at 8 played of 12 scheduled.
ReplyDeleteWhy is this game in Washington? Isn’t Tampa’s record better - does that not decide where they play?
ReplyDeleteWashington won their division. Amazingly. Division winners host.
ReplyDeleteCongrats to Teej for being promoted to Assistant to the Regional Manager.
ReplyDeleteUnless I royally screw things up get excited for the next update in 60 days when I get that interim tag removed.
ReplyDeleteand then we can get together and raise a glass. via zoom.
ReplyDeleteInvite Kato again
ReplyDeletekato never left, tr
ReplyDeleteThis game. Has. All the makings.
ReplyDeletePivotal possession right here. Need the defense to notch it up one more degree and make a big play.
ReplyDeleteFuuuuuuuuck
ReplyDeleteWhit, tell Mark about ‘Heineke Time’.
ReplyDeleteTom Brady is unflappable. And the vaunted WFT D line can’t get to him.
ReplyDeleteBut I like Heinicke Time
ReplyDeleteThat there looks like a collarbone injury. Fuck.
ReplyDeleteYes it does. WFT should consider an exorcism of some sort if they plan on ever having a functional QB for more than a season.
ReplyDeleteHeroic return by the taylor to show he’s the guy you need as your backup qb.
ReplyDeleteWell... here goes nothing.
ReplyDeleteThey gave it as good a shot as I could’ve asked for. Tampa was just too good.
ReplyDeleteHeinicke played himself into a backup spot somewhere next year. Good for him. He looked better than most current back-ups.
ReplyDeleteLine blew out to TB -10 after Smith was ruled inactive. Should have been -10 vs Smith and -6 vs Heinicke.
I watched Hornets-Pelicans last night and LiMelo was very good, narrowly missing a triple-double. He got that triple-double tonight and you should check out the highlights. He looks really really good.
ReplyDelete