On the fifth day of Gheorghemas, big Gheorghe gave to me:
Five gooooals / things
Four legal mic drops
Three critters and an otter
Two names for naming
And a fat guy in a jer-sey
Okay, after much fanfare, this falls a bit short. Hey, commiserate with all my girlfriends and wanna-bes (if you can find any who'll confess). Well, TJ's going to grad school, so our world is topsy-turvy enough. Your gift from Señor Clarencio is five things that will make my life better and/or much tougher, and in turn, I will pay forward that happiness/misery. Here we go. Within the first five (5) months of 2014, Clarence will deliver to you:
1. The Five Parts of Punk Rock
I delivered Part 1 of 5 recently, and Rob -- wisely -- asked me if this would be yet another recurring feature destined not to recur. We have a few of those here. While I managed to finish the Cauc Hop and Rob has carried on a few such features (as has Teejay), there are more unconcluded epics than we'd care to admit. Well, I have a lot to say about punk rock, or more appropriately, a lot to share. You'll learn about Sid Vicious, D. Boon, and every single damn Ramone by May 31. Or my name isn't Clarence.2. Five Rock and Roll Shows
I've abstained from all too many rock shows in 2013, mostly because of a lack of cash flow. That will change in the new year, even if I have to sell my body to do it. One cut at a time. Please join me when you can. Send suggestions. Stay tuned for music reviews and recs to come!3. Five G:TB Mini-Summits
In 2012 I saw nearly every G:TBer at least once, and we drank at least six beers on average every time. Terrific. 2013 sucked for me in that capacity. My friends came to visit me for nuptials and the OBFT; I did nothing. Even Mr. KQ came to visit me, and I could not reciprocate. I vow here and now to interact with at least five of you assholes in the first five months of the next year, and I will make the traveling effort. Who, where, when, how, and what we drink remains to be seen. Send suggestions. Game on.4. Five Random Idiots Songs
I pledge to write -- if not record for your listening pleasure -- five worthy, semi-worthy, or bloody awful tunes to record with my old friend Dave. It's been since 2009's "Dear Ozzy;" blimey, The Stone Roses record at a more frequent pace. And if #3 includes a winter summit to central NJ (one of my favorite things in life), you'll get audio delight by Memorial Day. Get psyched, fans.5. Five Miles
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| Listen to "Lightnin' Hopkins" |
That's it for 5.
Hello Clarice.
ReplyDeleteHall and Oates...class of '14 Rock and Roll HOF.
ReplyDeleteon the way to another huge day at gtb heh?
ReplyDeleteI look forward to seeing you in '14 clare bear.
I'm looking forward to the 4 remaining parts of punk rock.
ReplyDeleteLooks like Squirrel is getting his own beer ... linky
I would have suggested the following names: Nut Brown Ale, Double Nutter IPA or Squirrel Sack Cream Ale.
put one foot in front of the other, clarence
ReplyDeleteNot to hate on Hall and Oates, but when will Grand Funk Railroad or Huey Lewis and the News get in?
ReplyDeleteAny rapper who samples Hall and Oates can't be good.
ReplyDeleteThat's probably true Z, but that rapper could be huge with white women!
ReplyDeleteYou can't hate on Oates when he produced these quotes:
ReplyDelete"Hall and I will not stand idly by while you California vagina sailors stab the American airwaves in the balls with your shit ... music!"
"Fame... Fortune... Fagina."
"Get your dick out of your heart! Do you even know what the kids on the street are listening to? Disco, motherfucker!"
Daryl Hall and John Oates met in 1967 while at a band competition with their own bands (the Temptones and the Masters) “when gunfire rang out between two rival gangs, and in trying to escape, they ran to the same service elevator.” Three years later they signed to Atlantic.
ReplyDeleteI propose a major GTB summit this year. My nominated cities are New Orleans or Austin. I'm open to other suggestions though.
ReplyDeleteVegas?
ReplyDeleteJacksonville beach is sweet.
ReplyDeleteVegas?
ReplyDeleteJust so everyone's clear, here's who got the nod by the RnRHoF:
ReplyDeleteHall & Oates
Nirvana
KISS
Peter Gabriel
Cat Stevens
Linda Ronstadt
The E Street Band
Brian Epstein
Andrew Loog Oldham
Here's who got snubbed:
Chic
The Replacements
The Meters
N.W.A.
The Paul Butterfield Blues Band
Deep Purple
LL Cool J
Link Wray
Yes
The Zombies
LL's apparent steroid use will always be a hindrance to enshrinement.
ReplyDeletei see a random idiots song about clarence's "marathon." and i've got some creative ideas for the production (actually just one, i'm going to make him do sprints up the donaldson sled hill and then sing, so that he's out of breath).
ReplyDeletesince rock is dead, isn't just a matter of time before EVERY band is inducted into the hall of band.
ReplyDeletesay no to yes.
ReplyDeletei hate grading essays.
ReplyDeleteSt. Augustine?
ReplyDeletedave, i expect you to help with clarence's training.
ReplyDeletealso, all of you will be expected to contribute to the charity fund-raiser that will accompany clarence's maiden 8k voyage. we'll be raising money for versability, but in the mostly unlikely event clarence doesn't survive the race, the money will go to his girls.
ReplyDeletethe current 6th-place team in the nba's eastern conference? the washington wizards.
ReplyDeleteplayoffs? playoffs?
/jimmorarant
The Wiz also helping further cement TR's prospects of winning his "Knicks won't win 50" bet.
ReplyDeleteI changed the channel last night after Wall put up the air-ball three. I was shocked when I saw later that they won. The Wiz do not historically snatch victory from the jaws of defeat.
Wiz have had some pretty significant injury problems early (though they were totally foreseeable). They are entering a stretch where they will get some folks back so hopefully homecourt for the playoffs in the sub-par East will be in the discussion at some point.
Isn't it December 17? Playoff chatter? The Wiz of any year are always capable of a 4-32 run. Stay tuned.
ReplyDeleteWell done Clarence. I suggest you join KQ, Shlara, Rob and me on Jan 18 at The Hamilton for Rhett Miller. There's also Cracker and CVB at 930 Club on Jan 11..
ReplyDeleteWe'll go for a run and that will kill 3 birds while stoned.
Houston sports talk radio is as miserable as the city. Two straight afternoons filled with chatter on: Mack Brown's replacement, Kubiak's replacement and arguments on who sucks more (Schaub vs. Keenum edition). In between, they selectively piss on AJ McCarron for finishing ahead of Johnny Football for the Heisman.
ReplyDeleteI feel like I just cursed my flight outta here. Still love ya, Big H!
ReplyDeleteThis is why Gawker is the best:
ReplyDeletehttp://gawker.com/lawyer-for-santa-accused-of-public-handjob-demands-arti-1484998662
bob mould is playing 'workbook' in its entirety at the 930 on march 5.
ReplyDeleteIf you don't watch the HBO 24/7 Winter Classic series, you're missing out. The new episodes started this week. I LOVE this show--every year is gold.
ReplyDeleteWhere do we stand on Twin Peaks vs Tilted Kilt?
ReplyDeletePrurient minds want to know.
Florida-Memphis was supposed to start around 9. It's not starting until 9:40. Not happy about this.
ReplyDeleteIs Josh Pastner 23 yrs old?
ReplyDeleteHiello Gheorghies.
ReplyDeleteHiello? No, hello.
ReplyDeleteI have encountered no sports talk radio as bad as the DC area, and it has sunk to new lows. Apparently, the Skins should trade RGIII in the offseason and sign Kirk to a multimillion extension. If this stuff keeps up for a sustained period, I am jumping ship. For real, this time.
ReplyDeleteday 6 is posted
ReplyDeleteand someone get Mayhugh a qualuude