Gheorghe Quotes the Classics(?): Vol. 4

First full week of Spring, one day before baseball season opens, a few days to kill before the peeps come back for the Sweet Sixteen, and miles upon miles of workaday banality stretch before me, so G:TB offers a little perspective on our worldview:

"All research begins with ignorance. The ability to focus on what it is that you do not know is critical to doing research. I'm absolutely convinced that none of us understands the world.

I'm not a person that the world irritates, to quote Bill Buckley, but you turn on the radio and in any debate, you've got people who are convinced they know. Liberals, conservatives, Christians, Muslims, people who think Terry Francona is a genius, those that think he's an idiot. They're all convinced they've got this figured out. None of them has it figured out.

We do not understand the world; the world is billions of times more complicated than our minds.

You can make a useful contribution to a discussion if you can figure out specifically what it is you don't understand and try to work on it. If you try to start from the other end - 'I've got the world figured out and I'm going to explain it to everybody' - maybe there are a lot of people who succeed in doing that, but it doesn't work for me." -- Bill James

Conscious Choice

Not to get all Dickie V on you, but Friday flat out delivered, boys and girls. From Stephen Curry to Ty Rogers to the American Eagles to the Midwest Region double-digit bloodbath, and yes, Teejay's Siena Saints (we'll not say anything about Dan Dakich), the action was top notch from beginning to end. We're guaranteed at least two #12 seeds in the Sweet Sixteen, while all the top seeds looked strong to quite strong. The light, the heat, indeed.

On to Sunday's games, just because we know you want to be able to make awful puns in a safe, nurturing environment:

(13) Siena vs. (12) Villanova (12:10, Tampa, FL)
Val Kilmer approves of Siena's run, which keeps going for another week. Has Teejay mentioned that he picked them to win a game in the tourney?

(7) Miami vs. (2) Texas (2:15, Little Rock, AR)
There's no scenario under which Miami beats Texas in this game, save the 'Canes suiting up Dwyane Wade. Horns move on to Houston.

(7) Butler vs. (2) Tennessee (2:30, Birmingham, AL)
I've resisted and resisted and resisted jumping on the Butler bandwagon, playing against type even as I've wanted to believe. Now, I believe - that's a good damn team. Bulldogs surprise the Vols.

(10) Davidson vs. (2) Georgetown (2:50, Raleigh, NC)
Stephen Curry ain't getting 40 against the Hoyas. The country's best defensive team denies the dream for the Wildcats.

(13) San Diego vs. (12) Western Kentucky (2:50, Tampa, FL)
I'm drinking the Torero Kool-Aid. Oh. Sorry.

(8) Mississippi State vs. (1) Memphis (4:45, Little Rock, AR)
I really think MSU can win this game. Really. They can. And I think they...won't. But I reserve the right to point to this as evidence that I thought they kindamaybecould if they do.

(6) Oklahoma vs. (3) Louisville (5:00, Birmingham, AL)
This'll be the most lopsided game of the day - I think Pitino's gang is headed to San Antonio. Sooners are just a speedbump.

(9) Arkansas vs. (1) North Carolina (5:15, Raleigh, NC)
Heels aren't going to lose 25 miles from Chapel Hill. Bums me out, but that doesn't make it less true.

Opportunity Knocks Just Once

Because we’re men of the people, we’re dropping a new post on you for your commenting pleasure.

Relevant to nothing, wouldn’t Lose Yourself be better than One Shining Moment?

Here’s what we think about Saturday’s games:

(7) West Virginia vs. (2) Duke (2:10, Washington, DC)
Has anyone seen Mike Krzyzewski and Commissioner Valchek in the same room at the same time? Didn't think so. I’m mortally torn on this game. Why couldn’t John Beilein just stay in Morgantown? I’ve not been sold on Duke at all this season, and the Big East spent the first day of the tournament proving its toughness. Huggy Bear lives to kill again, exasperating legions of Cincinnati fans.

(11) Kansas State vs. (3) Wisconsin (4:20, Omaha, NE)
G:TB loves us some Bo Ryan, and the coaching matchup here is more unbalanced than Gary Busey on a meth and Jager binge. As much as we’d like to keep watching Michael Beasley, looks like his next game will be in an NBA uniform.

(6) Purdue vs. (3) Xavier (4:40, Washington, DC)
Purdue spoiled the Baylor dream season, but we won’t hold that against them. The Baby Boilers and their all-court balance move on against the Musketeers.

(5) Notre Dame vs. (4) Washington State (6:20, Denver, CO)
This will be an intriguing matchup of styles. Notre Dame prefers a buttoned-up, all-business look – heavy on Armani and Ferragamo, while Wazzu’s all “hang loose, bro. check out my boardshorts and flip-flops”. Derek Low and the boys squeeze the Irish and win a low-scoring game.

(6) Marquette vs. (3) Stanford (6:45, Anaheim, CA)
We’re on the Lopez Twins’ Neverland Tour Bus, single glove affixed. Cardinal advances, denying the Big East an undefeated tournament. Today’s games notwithstanding.

(8) UNLV vs. (1) Kansas (6:50, Omaha, NE)
I’ve seen nothing thus far to indicate that Kansas will have any trouble any time before the Final Four. Nothing, that is, other than Bill Self’s Sy Sperling beaver pelt. ‘Hawks still roll.

(5) Michigan State vs. (4) Pittsburgh (9:10, Denver, CA)
Rough, meet tumble. I eagerly await this one – probably my most anticipated Saturday game. And not only because I’ll have to live through a children’s Easter Egg hunt and a day full of in-laws to get to it. Pitt in a one-possession battle.

(9) Texas A&M vs. (1) UCLA (9:15, Anaheim, CA)
Yawn. CBS had better be broadcasting the Pitt game in the D.C. area. UCLA easily over whiny Mark Turgeon and the Aggies.

Friday Fun

Picks for tomorrow, before I wrap up my three hour workday and head to Verizon. And another picture for Whit.

(6)Oklahoma/(11)St. Joe's - I believe Oklahoma has lost games this year scoring 45 (twice) and 49 points. That's bad folks. St. Joe's beat Xavier twice...I love Xavier...therefore St. Joe's wins. Keep it simple stupid.

(3)Louisville/(14)Boise St - Siena thumped Boise by 20 during BracketBusters. I would have to believe Pitino and the boys win by at least that.

(7)Butler/(10)South Alabama - Butler got hosed with a 7 seed. And they might not escape this game because of it. Wait, 30 seconds of research...and I'm going South Alabama. We'll call it the Ronnie Arrow Redemption Story.

(2)Tennessee/(15)American - Some clarification please - it's not American coach Jeff Jones that pummeled the colon of Melissa Stark, right? Tennessee scores 100 in this one.

(2)Texas/(15)Austin Peay - Texas is good. Austin Peay has a funny name.

(7)Miami/(10)St. Mary's - I know absolutely nothing about these two teams. So we'll take the so-called mid-major. Plus, I need at least one WCC team to advance.

(8)Mississippi St/(9)Oregon - I believe it was Seth Davis who said this is more like a 6/11 game. We here at G:TB are big fans of Miss St. sophomore Jarvis Varnado, who averages 4.6 blocks a game. The SEC might, like the Ukraine, be weak, but I'm still trying to figure out how Ernie Kent's squad got into the Dance.

(1)Memphis/(16)Texas-Arlington - There are 328 teams in Division 1. Memphis is ranked 326th in free throw shooting. As a team, they shoot an abysmal 59.6% from the line. Obviously, it won't hurt them here, but sooner or later...

(5)Clemson/(12)Villanova - As I mentioned in the comments the other day, I was impressed by the veteran guard play of the Tigers, as well as the athleticism of the big men. And screw Villanofun - they forced my beloved Cuse to the NIT.

(5)Drake/(12)Western Kentucky - I like Drake's story. Don't hate the Drake, people.

(4)UConn/(13)San Diego - Hasheem Thabeet is also a G:TB fav. San Diego's star guard is apparently the grandson of crazy jungle juice drinkin' Jim Jones, so I'm not backing him and his crazy cult lineage.

(7)Gonzaga/(10)Davidson - Davidson was 20-0 in conference play. I don't care what conference you're in, posting a 20-0 is damn impressive. As is the backcourt of Stephen Curry (the well-known star) and Jason Richards (the underrated PG)...Richards just happened to lead the country with 8.0 APG. Right, I'm not talking about the Zags at all...no need to, they're out.

(2)Georgetown/(15)UMBC - For our boy Geoff, Roy will go 22, 15 and 5 in this game against a UMBC frontline with no one taller than 6'8".

(1)UNC/(16)Mt. St. Mary's - Moving on...

(8)Indiana/(9)Arkansas - Ugh, I don't want to pick the Hoosiers, but I kinda have to.

(4)Vanderbilt/(13)Siena - I saved the best for last. Since the beginning of the season I told anyone who would listen that Siena would win the MAAC, AND would win their 1st round tourney game. So far, so good...now we just need the Saints to find a way to outscore a very balanced 'Dores squad led by Shan Foster and Aussie big man A.J. Ogilvy. Go Saints.

Another boring bracket post

I have neither the time nor the energy to give you a full bracket breakdown right now (that's a half-lie...I certainly I have the time), so you're gettin' my take on Thursday's games, plus the bonus photo to the right, which for some odd reason made me laugh quite a bit (Dennis might even call it a Peep Show). I have the good fortune to be attending tomorrow's 12:20 and 2:50 tips at the Verizon Center with the aforementioned Dennis, so why not begin there:

(6)Purdue/(11)Baylor - Squirrel loves the Baylor dream story. It's nice, I agree. Player on player homicide can really devastate a program. But if we ever got around to that G:TB All American squad we had talked about, Purdue freshman Robbie Hummel would've been a first teamer, so we're taking the Boilermakers here.

(3)Xavier/(14)Georgia - I have a tremendous amount of love for Xavier. Tremendous backcourt. Six guys averaging double figures. Tourney experience galore. And they're facing the miracle Dawgs squad who survived a tornado to win the kiddie SEC? Please. Sean Miller's squad in a laugher.

(7)West Virginia/(10)Arizona - Jerryd Bayless is Derrick Rose good. He's just not a great speller. The first year ride for Huggins (and Beilein's players) ends here.

(2)Duke/(15)Belmont - Sure, I think Duke's overrated. But I still gotta take 'em here.

(3)Wisconsin/(14)Cal State Fullerton - Honestly, I know nothing about Fullerton, and I'm not even going to bother to google them. If any game bites me in the ass, it's this one. Go Badgers.

(6)USC/(11)Kansas State - I actually typed in "(6)USC/(11)Michael Beasley". I think you know which way I'm leaning. "Pulling a Glenn Robinson" is about to become "Pulling a Michael Beasley".

(8)UNLV/(9)Kent St - Four dead in Ohio? Honestly, that's all I know about Kent State. And Lon Kruger got the job done last year.

(1)Kansas/(16)Portland State - Bill Self will fuck this up eventually, just not in this round.

(4)Wazzu/(13)Winthrop - Have I mentioned Dana Jacobson looks just like He-Man? Winthrop used to be a trendy upset pick...not for me. I'll take the deliberate style of Wazzu to bore and advance.

(5)Notre Dame/(12)George Mason - I can't be the first person to tell you Luke Harangody looks like Ron Perlman? AKA Helboy? I promise no more of these lookalike games. We all love the CAA around here, but Mason is done.

(5)Michigan St/(12)Temple - So, Chaney is gone and Penn's old coach is in? And Temple won the A-10? And Tom Izzo's teams have underachieved for years now in the Dance? Fuck it, I'll take Team Neitzel.

(4)Pittsburgh/(13)Oral Roberts - I know Bob Knight loves Pitt. If I could take a moment to address the General - Stop slouching a-hole. It won't kill you to sit up. Wear a decent outfit onset. You look like White Goodman in Dodgeball. I've decided to pick ORU just to spite Knight...and because they go 6'8", 6'9" and 6'10" on their front line.

(6)Marquette/(11)Kentucky - Kentucky without Patrick Patterson = 15 point loss. Buh-bye.

(3)Stanford/(14)Cornell - Robin, Brook, Danny and Jose Lopez Jr. will destroy poor Cornell (yes, I'm sorry, jokes tend to get recycled around here).

(1)UCLA/(16)Mississippi Valley St - Hey MVSU, at least Jerry Rice went there. I'm pretty sure UCLA is my national champion.

(8)BYU/(9)Texas A&M - I hate the Aggies for some reason. No idea why. I'm taking a Mountain West team here, though they have been piss poor lately in the first round (UNLV run last year excluded).

Kevin Garnett thinks very little of your streak

Boston 94, Houston 74. So, I guess the Celtics are pretty good?

What Gheorghe is Thinking, March Madness Edition

I love Airwolf as much as the next guy, but I'm tired of looking at that post. (Also, I don't love Airwolf as much as the next guy - I barely remember it. I am quite fond of that giant pink helicopter from Riptide, though.) Since we're only 72 hours away from the greatest two days of the year* (* - we're required by law to use that construct, and despite the fact that I happen to believe it, even I've grown tired of the amateur hour schtick associated with the first Thursday and Friday of the tournament. Combined with St. Patrick's Day, it's gonna be a banner week for poseurdom.)

Friend of G:TB Jerry has stepped up with a typically dead-on take on the March Madness phenomenon, especially the overplayed bracket meme. Like him, I'm historically brutal in submitting successful brackets, though I did manage to parlay my interest in the tourney into a reasonably profitable revenue-skimming operation during my college years. So do be sure and take the next several comments with a healthy portion of skepticism.

In terms of teams with realistic chances to have some success, I'm rooting hard for Baylor, Butler, George Mason (duh), and Pittsburgh. Baylor's pretty obvious - Scott Drew's kids are the feel-good story of the decade. Butler, too, is clear - A.J. Graves is even scrawnier than me. Pittsburgh, well, I just like the cut of their jib.

I'm hoping West Virginia, Kentucky, and Miami flame out early. Hate the Huggins. And just don't care for either of the others. I'd put North Carolina and Memphis in here, too, but rooting against them won't do any good. (Though keep an eye on Jarvis Varnado and Mississippi State if they get to Memphis in the second round.)

As much as it pains me, I've got a 'strong sell' recommendation on Gheorghetown. Call it a hunch. They'll get past the Gonzaga/Davidson winner easily, especially if it's Davidson, but I don't think they beat Wisconsin.

Stanford and Louisville are really good (and, in a bonus, both Cardinal(s)). Final Four good. Stanford beat UCLA in the regular season, despite the fact that the record shows otherwise and had them dead to rights in the Pac 10 final. The Cardinal are (is?) big and deep. With David Padgett healthy, Louisville is experienced, balanced, and well-coached.

Teams I think will overperform their seeding (by doing more than just winning in the first round): Clemson, Notre Dame, Pittsburgh, Baylor, Louisville, Stanford.

Teams I expect to gack: Oklahoma, Marquette, Memphis, Tennessee, Miami.

No real screw-jobs from the committee, though it's a bit disappointing to see three mid-major vs. mid-major contests in the first round. At least three will be going through, I suppose, so there's a silver lining for you. Butler as a 7 makes no sense whatsoever, but neither does Indiana as an 8.

Tiger Woods. Good at his profession. The fine men and women of Bear Stearns. Not so much. Godspeed to our colleague Rhymenocerous as he stands firmly in the breach, protecting hearth and home from marauding Chinese arbitraguers in these uncertain times.

And finally, apropo of nothing, I caught the first two episodes of John Adams last night. Aside from the fact that a bald Paul Giamatti is most disconcerting, those bastards at HBO have sucked me in for another 6 weeks. The acting is phenomenal, the story intense (the gravity of the scene in the time immediately after the Continental Congress voted for independence, well, talk about one shining moment), and details spot-on.

Slainte, then, as we leave you with a little from Shane MacGowan and the boys on this bogus but festive holiday: There's some takes delight in the carriages a rolling/Some takes delight in the hurley or the bowlin'/But I takes delight in the juice of the barley/And courting pretty fair maids in the morning bright and early.

Back to your regularly scheduled YouTubes

Now this is the kind of filler you've come to know and love...

G:TB DVD Pick of the Week

While most film rats (we'd call them film "buffs", but if there was any buff in them they surely would have seen this brilliant piece of cinema in the theatre already) race to their mailboxes this week hoping to extract that precious little red envelope containing "No Country For Old Men" - that movie, as my Mensa cube mate puts it, with the creepy Spanish dude that looks like "Denny" from Grey's Anatomy and won all those awards - we'll be calmly waiting for a different film from the top of our queue...

A little gem called Gattaca: Special Edition.

Table for 4 please.

Tribe Pride

In the end, George Mason was the better team. William & Mary was one stop here, one bounce there, one made three-pointer somewhere else from extending their absurd and improbable run through the postseason. And every time, Mason made a play, grabbed a board, closed out on defense like the seasoned, talented, and disciplined team they are. Jim Larranaga’s kids deserve a ton of credit.

But so, too, do Tony Shaver’s kids. Despite being overmatched athletically and vastly inexperienced in big games in comparison with their opponents, the Tribe gave us a reason to believe. Given our alma mater’s historical, ahem, underperformance on the hardwood, that is a gift of substantial dimension, friends.

W&M closed the first half on a 16-8 run to trail by a single point, and the Mason fans sitting around us in the Richmond Coliseum cast nervous glances at each other while Tribe fans tried really hard to coordinate high-fives and fist pumps, unaccustomed as we are to such emotions. There may have been some minor muscle tears and one unfortunate unintentional elbow to the nose of a septuagenarian Tribe fan witnessing his first conference final. Alas, Folarin Campbell, Will Thomas, Dre Smith, and Chris Fleming (Chris Fleming? Really?) led the Patriots to a 9-0 run to start the second stanza and W&M never got it closer than 7 until it was way too late. While the Tribe was gritty, gutty, game and all the other clichés that surround Caucasian basketball players (the Washington Post called them stubborn this morning in the print edition – high praise, indeed), Mason deserved to win.

But as we noted in this space just yesterday, the loss does nothing to diminish the joy this unlikely group of kids brought to W&M’s generally subdued alumni. For the briefest of moments we were allowed to pretend we belonged, to plan trips to the Boise or Sacramento or Tacoma subregionals, to shout ourselves hoarse watching a game that actually mattered, and to dream. Generations of us had never even allowed ourselves to dream. When we talk about this team, that’s the thing we’ll remember – not that they finally fell short, but that they let us dream, hope, and care. And at some level, that’s the magic of college basketball, that an obscure school from a mid-major conference can make otherwise mature (it’s in the eye of the beholder, people) adults let loose the bonds of logic and rationality and really, deeply believe in the most unlikely outcomes.

So thanks to the 2007-8 William & Mary Tribe for a heretofore once in a lifetime run, and thanks to MGL at CAA: Life as a Mid-Major and Extra P at Storming the Floor for getting behind our quixotic efforts this season. One of these days, boys and girls, one of these days we’ll get to see the Tribe demolished by a 2 seed in the first round of the tourney. And G:TB can’t wait.

My Team's On the Floor

The information in Rob's November post on the Dark Ages of William & Mary basketball

(leading directly up to this year) is old hat to those in the know, but most casual fans of college basketball aren't privy to the gory details of the plight of the Tribe. And for those that do, re-reading his season preview is still highly entertaining, given what you now know. Take a quick peek before hunkering down to watch the game tonight.

Our school's mantras generally consist of esoteric, nerdy exhortations like "Hark upon the Gale" and "Ebirt Og," but for tonight, a simple "Go Tribe" is all that need be said.

That, and yet another quote from Hoosiers, a film being placed in parallel with the surging W&M squad's tale, if only for the startling amount of honk in the team picture.

Over at the CAA Zone, MGL dropped a Norman Dale quotable on us today, minutes after I'd remarked to Rob that Shooter's rant in the mental ward was being paraphrased by Teejay in his office this morning: "NO WILLIAM & MARY TEAM . . . HAS EVER . . . MADE IT TO THE CONFERENCE CHAMPIONSHIP!" And so I will leave the G:TB huddle with Coach Dale's simple send-off.

I love you guys.

Ho. Lee. Shit.

We tried to jinx this thing once already, and the karmic power of the Futile Superfan overcame our hubris. Once more into the breach, then, lads - Crash Davis and fucking with a streak be damned, because we're so far through the looking glass that the normal laws of physics and fandom don't apply. And, really, we're playing with house money at this point - a loss tonight will hardly diminish the accomplishment.

Dick Vitale mentioned William & Mary this morning on the radio. John Feinstein wrote about the Tribe in the Washington Post today. Laimis Kisielius got major run on SportsCenter. Folks from Boston to Richmond to Norfolk to Wilmington are trying to sell CAA Finals tickets way before they thought they would. A different W&M player hit a game-winning shot on the Tribe's final possession in each of the CAA Tournament's first three games. For a team that had won a grand total of three conference tourney games in 22 years. What in the name of John Leone is going on here?

Quick and dirty today, then, and more to come tomorrow. G:TB's merry band is on the way back to Richmond to see if miracles really do happen.

Thanks to Extra P at Storming the Floor for the clip of Tribe fans, um, storming the floor after the unlikely semifinal win over VCU. 'That Just Happened' is destined to be William & Mary's version of 'Do You Believe in Miracles'.

Season Finale, Part II

See here for the first part of the story.

Quarterfinals, Saturday, March 8



(8) Hofstra vs. (1) Virginia Commonwealth (23-6, 15-3)

VCU is the CAA’s Marlo Stanfield, the cold, efficient, and single-minded alpha dog. The Rams dominated the conference in 2007-8, finishing with a 15-3 record and winning the league by 3 games. The Wire’s David Simon won’t be giving us a Hollywood ending on Sunday night, and while Marlo may not survive in the end, neither will McNulty and Freamon. VCU dispassionately and clinically ends Hofstra’s season.

(5) William and Mary vs. (4) Old Dominion (17-14, 11-7)

ODU doesn’t do anything all that impressive – they just put their heads down and work hard. Occasionally, they’ll have too much to drink*, but for the most part, they’re solid and dependable. Like Bunk Moreland, the backbone of The Wire.

On Saturday, Bunk’ll sit W&M’s Dukie down in an interrogation room, gently lay a comforting hand on the Tribe’s shoulder, and explain in reassuring tones how he’s just doing his job. Sometimes, the Man does what the Man has to do. W&M will understand, but in a plot twist worthy of David Simon himself, the Tribe will turn the tables on the Monarchs, stunning them like I expect to be stunned after the Wire’s final run on Sunday**.

* - metaphorically, in ODU’s case – heaven forbid that we cast such aspersions.
** - and yes, this is quite truly wishful thinking and not a prediction made with much rigorous analysis – though W&M did beat ODU in Norfolk this season.

(10) Drexel vs. (2) UNC Wilmington (19-12, 12-6)

The Seahawks are the CAA’s Michael Lee, tough, street-smart, and a little bit iconoclastic. They’re capable of a achieving at a very high level, but are constrained fatally by their environment (as we’ll soon see, that’s a proxy for their coach). It all goes poof for Drexel against a much tougher Wilmington squad.

(6) Northeastern vs. (3) George Mason (20-10, 12-6)

Okay, bear with me here, because this won’t make much sense until the end of this preview. Mason is Bubbles, the recovering heroin addict and conscience of The Wire. They’ve had amazing highs this season (wins over Kansas State and Dayton when the Flyers were at full strength, an 85-38 drubbing of Drexel) and maddeningly inexplicable descents into the abyss (losses to East Carolina and Georgia State, blowing a double-digit lead in the BracketBusters game against Ohio). The Patriots will end Northeastern’s season, but not without a struggle.

Semifinals, Sunday, March 9

(5) William and Mary vs. (1) VCU

Dukie vs. Marlo. And the result will be about exactly what you’d expect. Sadly. Poor Dukie, cast into the dark underworld, destined to a short, brutal life of drug addiction and far more unspeakable unpleasantries.

(3) George Mason vs. (2) UNC Wilmington

The grim fate of W&M’s Dukie is balanced by the ascension of Mason’s Bubbles in the second semi. As noted a few days ago in this space, G:TB thinks the Patriots are the league’s most talented team, capable of playing at an extremely high level (and equally capable of going on bizarre, half-long walkabouts). The redemption theme continues on Sunday, as Mason avenges two in-season losses to Wilmington to set up a good vs. evil (y’know, artistically-speaking) conference final.

Finals, Monday, March 10

(3) George Mason vs. (1) VCU



ESPN is hoping, nay, praying that this national telecast features action like last year’s 65-59 VCU win over Mason, or 2004’s nail-biter between the two squads. Because ESPN’s seen the dark side, like 2001’s 35-33 final between Mason and Wilmington, a contest that set the game back to Dr. Naismith’s time.

As The Wire ends, we expect David Simon to give us stories of individual redemption and triumph while reminding the viewer that the systemic problems never end, that we’re doomed as a society to wallow in corruption, violence, and avarice. The names change, but the game never does.

Luckily for George Mason and Bubbles, theirs is one of those few bright spots in Simon’s otherwise grim portrait, as they defeat the Rams to clinch the CAA’s automatic bid. And in a nod to poetic justice, Marlo lives to fight another day, too, with VCU capturing an at-large bid in a season where just about every bubble team seems intent on playing its way out of the Dance.

Somewhere, Tom Yeager as the Greek beams a satisfied smile.

Futile Superfans Season Finale

We’re a little embarrassed to reveal just how much we’ve been anticipating this weekend. Between the series finale of the greatest television show of our time, the Colonial Athletic Association (CAA) conference basketball tournament, and an embarrassment of other hoops action, our entertainment cupboard overfloweth. It is with no irony or embellishment that we tell you that we’re far more geeked for the next 4 days than we were for this year’s Super Bowl.

And so, in honor of the conclusion of The Wire’s spectacular run, we give you the most absurd CAA conference tourney preview you’ll find:

Round One – Friday, March 7

(8) Hofstra (12-17, 8-10) vs. (9) Towson (12-17, 7-11)

Hofstra, the league’s biggest disappointment, stand in for Jimmy McNulty and Lester Freamon in the CAA cast. The Pride came into 2007-8 with 3 consecutive 20-win seasons, each culminating in a trip to the postseason NIT. And just as we expected better of good police like McNulty and Freamon, Tom Pecora’s boys let their backers down this year.

Towson’s basically background scenery in the CAA, just like Slim Charles on The Wire. Hofstra takes the first step towards redemption in this matchup, beating Pat Kennedy’s Tigers easily.

(5) William and Mary (14-15, 10-8) vs. (12) Georgia State (9-20, 5-13)

W&M reminds us of no Wire character more than Dukie, the smart, sweet, and silly but ultimately doomed youth. Picked on for years by the tougher kids (teams), the Tribe found a purpose in 2007-8, as finally did Dukie, if only briefly. Georgia State is Clay Davis, if only because their head coach, Rod Barnes, bears a passing resemblance to the embattled public servant.

Dukie gives the audience hope for the future tomorrow, as W&M notches their 4th conference tournament victory in 26 tries, avenging last year’s buzzer-beating loss at the hands of GSU’s Leonard Mendez. Sheeeee-it.

(7) Delaware (13-16, 9-9) vs. (10) Drexel (12-19, 5-13)

At one point this season, Delaware was 5-0 in conference play, alone in first place and on top of the world. Just like Stringer Bell. The game gets everyone in the end, though, especially those who think they have it figured out, and the Hens skidded to a 4-9 finish. Bruiser Flint’s Drexel Dragons remind us of Baltimore Sun reporter Scott Templeton, perpetually overrated and bound to get what’s coming to them. Just not in the first round of the tourney, where they surprise Delaware and move on to face UNC Wilmington.

(6) Northeastern (13-16, 9-9) vs. (11) James Madison (13-16, 5-13)

JMU started the season with a surprising win over a good Siena team, and carried the momentum from that win into a 7-2 out-of-conference mark entering CAA play, where they jumped ugly on a solid Northeastern team and beat VCU, the league’s best team. And just like Ziggy Sobotka’s high-rolling lifestyle crashed around him, the Dukes went from filet mignon to shit sandwich in a hurry.

Boston-based Northeastern was quietly competent in league play all season, getting their job done with little fanfare and building towards a promising future, like Detective Leander Sydnor. Next year, the Huskies will be a tough out. This year, they’ll drum a JMU team that’s just playing out the string.

We’ll post the final 3 rounds this afternoon.

OK, Rick. If you say so...

While G:TB:PR prepares its annual brief to the NCAA selection committee, we'd like to hand the microphone to our favorite high-calorie cager coach, The King of Carbs himself, for an important announcement. Attention please:

We Represent...The Lollipop Guild

You’re undoubtedly aware of G:TB’s rooting interest in Colonial Athletic Association basketball. We’re the internet’s 2nd or 3rd-leading purveyors of CAA-focused insight, according to the industry watchdogs at Street and Smith. Lesser known, perhaps, is our fondness for all things small and overlooked in the world of big-time college hoops. And I know from small and overlooked, believe me.

March Madness generally refers to the NCAA Men’s Basketball tournament, the engorged national obsession that this year begins on March 20. While we worship at the altar of Clark Kellogg’s verbal gymnastics as much as the next guy, we believe the frenzy actually kicks off tomorrow, when the Littles start playing off for guaranteed entry into the field of 64. And so, we bring you G:TB’s rundown of the Oompa Loompas, the Ewoks, the Billy Bartys, and yea, verily, the Lollipop Guilds who imbue this first full week of March with color and character until they give way to their Brobdingnagian counterparts before Spring’s sweet breezes begin to blow.

Today we’ll focus on the tournaments that start this week, in the interest of time and some notion of a need to accomplish at least one business-related task before heading home.

America East
Location: Binghamton, NY
Dates: March 7-9, 15
Top Seed: University of Maryland, Baltimore County (13-3)
At Large Potential: Zip, Zero, Nada

For the record, I hate the split tournament format, though I grudgingly appreciate the abiding desire of conferences like the America East to get some precious television exposure. Lord ESPN, why dost thou torment us so? Also, in the interest of sharing, I spent the coldest weekend of my life in Binghamton. Moving right along...

Teejay hails from the America East’s frigid territory and insists that Albany will take the league’s automatic bid. Me, I look at UMBC’s dominant regular season (including a sweep of the aforementioned Great Danes) and the Retrievers’ killer mascot and go with the A-10 slayers (wins over Richmond and GW highlight UMBC’s out-of-conference sked) from Baltimore to make the chalk stand.

Atlantic Sun
Location: Nashville, TN
Dates: March 5-8
Top Seed: Belmont (14-2)
At Large Potential: Yeah, not so much

The A-Sun made big noise out of conference during the season’s opening weeks, with wins over Kentucky (Gardner-Webb), Alabama (Belmont), Cincinnati (Belmont), and USC (Mercer), proving yet again that mid-majors (or in this case, low-majors) can play with anyone. Belmont takes a 10-game winning streak into the conference tourney, with their last loss at Campbell way back on January 5. The top-seeded Bruins open tournament play on Wednesday against…uh-oh…Campbell.

G:TB would be doing you, the reader, a significant disservice by pretending we know anything at all about how this conference tournament will play out. Doesn’t mean we won’t be watching.

Big South
Location: Campus Sites
Dates: March 4, 6, 8
Top Seed: UNC-Asheville (10-4)
At Large Potential: Diddly

Asheville’s 10-4 conference record is a bit misleading, as the Bulldogs lost all their conference games in consecutive fashion while 7’7” center (and G:TB favorite) Kenny George and point guard Bryan Smithson sat out with injuries. UNC-A was undefeated in conference play with the two in the lineup.

Randy Peele’s Winthrop Eagles beat Georgia Tech and Miami (FL) this season after dumping Notre Dame in the 2007 Big Dance, but if George is healthy, nobody in the Big South can keep Asheville from its appointed demolition at the hands of a major conference power.

Colonial
Location: Richmond, VA
Dates: March 7-10
Top Seed: Virginia Commonwealth (15-3)
At Large Potential: Slim but not none

The CAA’s built a well-deserved reputation as a tough out in the NCAA Tourney, with VCU, UNCW, and ODU all notching wins in the last 10 years and George Mason making its’ unforgettable Final Four run in 2006. Unfortunately, that success doesn’t look to be enough to get the conference its 3rd consecutive two-bid season.

We won’t belabor the preview here, as we’ll drop a more comprehensive version on Thursday, but G:TB’s seen a lot of CAA ball this season, and we haven’t seen a better team than George Mason when the Patriots are focused. The latter part of that sentence is huge, because Mason has an annoying tendency to space out during crucial game situations. With some trepidation, it says here that Jim Larranaga prevails upon his senior standouts Will Thomas and Folarin Campbell to keep their heads in it long enough to get the band back together in late March. That is, of course, unless William and Mary catches fire. Natch.

Horizon
Location: Campus Sites
Dates: March 4, 7-8, 11
Top Seed: Butler (16-2)
At Large Potential: A given, if anyone other than Butler wins the conference tourney. Otherwise, nope.

Mid-major darling Butler is clearly the class of the Horizon and poised to capture a top-5 seed in the NCAA Tourney with a clean run through the league championship. Only Cleveland State and Wright State (note: neither of those are actually states) blemished the Bulldogs in the regular season, and A.J. Graves, Mike Green and the boys avenged both of those losses.

Thing is, though, Butler plays a lot of close games – 12 of their 18 conference tilts were decided by single digits – and they don’t need to win the Horizon to get into the Dance. G:TB likes surging Cleveland State (winners of 6 out of 7) to pillage their way into Hinkle Fieldhouse and get all Hoosiers on Butler, denying somebody an at-large bid.

MAAC
Location: Albany, NY
Dates: March 7-10
Top Seed: Siena (13-5)
At Large Potential: Sorry, no

Siena’s Saints took the top seed in the MAAC tourney by winning a tiebreaker over the Rider Broncs based on which team has a more geographically appropriate nickname. That said, Siena’s a pretty good squad, with a win over Stanford on their resume. The MAAC’s got 6 teams within 2 games of each other at the top, so it would surprise nobody on the G:TB staff to see any one of Siena, Rider, Loyola (MD), Niagara, Marist, or Fairfield claim the bid.

As noted before, Teejay hails from the Albany region, so we’ll leave the prognosticating to him. Survey says…Siena.

(Late breaking news from the Sports Book at the MGM Grand: Teejay says, “And Siena will win their first round game…book it”. Use that as you will.)

Missouri Valley
Location: St. Louis, MO
Dates: March 6-9
Top Seed: Drake (15-3)
At Large Potential: At least 2 and maybe 3 MVC squads will be in the Dance

Billy Packer’s least favorite conference annually vies with the CAA and the Mountain West for the title of Tallest Midget (we consider the Atlantic 10 a really bad major conference, not a top-flight mid). The MVC is clearly the class of mid-major hoops in 2008, standing 8th in Ken Pomoroy’s conference RPI.

Drake’s in the tournament already, and one of 2008’s great stories after coming from nowhere to win the MVC regular season. Illinois State’s probably in, too, but their lack of big-name win should have the Redbirds a little apprehensive. We think they win the tourney, with Drake bowing out early.

Northeast
Location: Campus Sites
Dates: March 6, 9, 12
Top Seed: Robert Morris (16-2)
At Large Potential: Bagel

The Robert Morris Colonials beat Boston College earlier in the year, and enter the NEC tourney on a 13-game winning streak. Hot team, playing at home and looking for a redemptive run to their ultimate doom. That’s the kind of human interest story that’ll keep the nation tuned in until at least the first television timeout of their loss to Kansas.

Ohio Valley
Location: Nashville, TN
Dates: March 4, 7-8
Top Seed: Austin Peay (16-4)
At Large Potential: Nope

The Ohio Valley seems to be sharing Nashville as a tournament venue with the Atlantic Sun. Since I assume that Nashville is a tiny hick town with only one arena, this has me perplexed. (I could look it up, but a) I don’t care, and b) someone will almost certainly do it for me.)

Regardless, the OVC puts on an entertaining show on a regular basis, so we’ll be tuning in to the shared-court action to hear “Let’s Go Peay” from backers of the top-seeded Governors. There’s a whole lotta parity in the OVC, with 8 of the league’s 11 teams at .500 or better. One of them will win the automatic bid.

Patriot
Location: Campus Sites
Dates: March 5, 9, 14
Top Seed: American (10-4)
At Large Potential: None

Ahh, John Feinstein’s driven-snow pure Patriot League, home of noble student-athletes and scintillating just-below-the-rim action. American University, whose conference tournament futility is an underreported phenomenon, snuck into the top seed and home court advantage when Colgate upended Navy in the season’s final game. Only 5 games separate the league champion Eagles from the last-place Holy Cross Crusaders, so your guess is as good as ours when it comes to the tournament winner.

Only thing we know is that it won’t be American.

Southern
Location: Charleston, SC
Dates: March 7-10
Top Seed: Davidson (20-0)
At Large Potential: Only if Davidson loses

Davidson’s 20-0 in conference play. That’s sick, regardless of the league, and the SoCon, while mostly mediocre, isn’t the SWAC. The league as a whole played the nation’s toughest out of conference schedule, and as difficult as it is for low/mid-major teams to get games against the big guys, that fact alone is enough to make G:TB root for the SoCon.

In addition to running the table in the league, Davidson lost by 4, 6, and 8 to UNC, Duke, and UCLA, respectively. In the words of Bill Walton, put ‘em in, big man.

Although it won’t matter – the Wildcats will close the deal in Charleston and scare the bejesus out of some unsuspecting 3 seed in the first round of the tourney.

Sun Belt
Location: Mobile, AL
Dates: March 5, 9-11
Top Seed: South Alabama (16-2)
At Large Potential: So you’re saying there’s a chance

South Alabama and Western Kentucky both finished 16-2 in regular season conference action, with the league’s next best teams (Middle Tennessee, Arkansas Little-Rock, and Louisiana-Lafayette) a full 5 games back at 11-7. As an aside, how the hell is Denver in this conference?

The Sun Belt is one of those leagues where a clearly better team runs the risk of folding under the enormous pressure of the one and done environment, but we don’t see it happening to both USA and WKU. One or the other wins the league, and if it’s WKU, we still like South Alabama’s chances of sneaking into the field.

West Coast
Location: San Diego, CA
Dates: March 7-10
Top Seed: Gonzaga (12-1 – season not complete)
At Large Potential: Indeed

Same as it ever was/same as it ever was. Little known fact that the Rhode Island School of Design’s own David Byrne is a huge WCC fan. Gonzaga’s win over Saint Mary’s last week dropped the Gaels into second place, and ensured that the Bulldogs will capture their 8h straight regular season title with a win over Santa Clara tonight.

Both Gonzaga and St. Mary’s are already in the Large Cotillion (I’m running out of new ways to describe the damn thing), and the G:TB team fancies the cut of the San Diego Toreros’ jib. Playing at home, USD screws up yet another team’s at-large dreams. We fervently hope that Bob Huggins is the victim.

I'm off to Vegas. Again.

Here's me making nice with a local last time I was there. A local who happens to be the only man to ever win world titles in five different weight classes. Why the hell can't I ever take a normal picture?

"Hey Champ. Loved you in L.A. Heat."

G:TB Hearts Salvador Dali

You may be tempted to dismiss the images you're about to see as hideously out of focus, poorly balanced, and lacking compositional quality. Beauty, my friends, is in the eye of the beholder. For example, many viewers of last night's William & Mary/George Mason contest beheld a grinding, uneven, at times sloppy ballgame. G:TB, on the other hand, saw a spirited back and forth between two squads who approach the game from decidedly divergent perspectives.

(And if none of that contrived prose works for you, just pretend you're viewing the scene through Teejay's Coors Light and Vodka/Red Bull-fueled prism. I think the photos will make a great deal of sense in that context.)



Two for the price of one in this photo, which captures not only Mason's bandleader, but AD and former NCAA Basketball Selection Committee Chairman Tom O'Connor (he's the white-haired gentleman about to get punched by the righteous fist of blurry justice at left).



This is probably our best photo. I was definitely trying to capture the spirit of the Mason students. That's totally my story.



Arrrrrrrrrgh. Run away! Snow angels!



Our seats were pretty decent, eh? Many thanks to our newfound Mason-backer friends for the generous accomodations. Not sure if you can make it out in the photo, but that's one of them walking off the court at halftime.

As for the game itself, it was clear from the jump that Mason had significantly more athletic talent than did the Tribe, and when the Patriots sped out to a 10-3 lead, things seemed bleak. As was the case throughout the game, though, W&M never panicked against a superior opponent. David Schneider (a game high 19 points) calmly drilled a funky rotationless triple to stem the Mason run, and the Tribe dug in once again.

The rest of the game followed a similar pattern: Mason would spurt to a lead and seem to lose focus on both ends of the court. Will Thomas was pretty much unstoppable, but the Patriots would forget about him for long stretches - he only wound up with 10 points. Meanwhile, with a few exceptions, W&M took care of the basketball, played physical defense, and invariably made a couple of shots to keep things interesting. On the night, W&M turned the ball over 13 times while forcing 17 miscues, and was only outrebounded 30-28. The Tribe even opened up a 27-23 lead just before halftime, enough of an edge to wake Mason from one of its slumbers and post a quick 5-0 run heading into the break.

With a bit more than 6 minutes left, Nathan Mann hit a three from the corner to give W&M a 50-49 lead and send more than a little bit of worry through the home crowd. There may have been a man hug between me and Teejay then. Not exactly sure. He was pretty drunk (Rob drank water the whole night. And ate a salad at a sports bar).

On cue, though, Mason scored the next 8 points, holding the Tribe scoreless for almost 5 minutes. John (the Dentist) Vaughn hit a dagger trey to make the count 55-50 and when Folarin Campbell followed with a beautiful driving two-handed jam, the script was essentially written. Mason's talent overcame W&M's determination and discipline, but only just.

Couple more makes, handful of bounces here and there, and the Tribe pulls a big upset on Senior Night in Fairfax. Tony Shaver's boys acquitted themselves well, and made these aging alums fairly proud. If nothing else, the team's collective effort and poise gives us a lot of reason for hope. And that, lady and gentlemen, is a rare and precious commodity 'round Williamsburg way, at least during hoops season.

"No, it's too perilous"

Cowboy fans enter Philadelphia’s Lincoln Financial Field with trepidation and unease. Bronco backers pass near Oakland’s Black Hole with their eyes down and their hands on their women and their wallets. Red Sox fans wear their grungiest clothes to Yankee Stadium, secure in the knowledge that they’ll get beer tossed on them. Or will at least have to powerwash their togs to remove the lingering stench of Yankee Nation.

Those are walks in the park compared to the foul gauntlet Teejay and I contemplate. Beginning at sundown this evening, we’ll fortify our stomachs and steel our resolve before making the short walk from Brion’s Grill (don’t ask about the spelling – I don’t get it, either) to the Patriot Center, where the William & Mary Tribe will face all manner of malodorous perils in the persons of the George Mason Patriots and their fans.

Consider the following:
Not only do we have to sit courtside, significantly increasing our risk of exposure to flying sweat and Tony Shaver’s moustache, we’ll be asked…nay, forced, to amble 30 yards or so in to the Patriot Club to nosh on free crudite and domestic lagers before the game and at halftime. And believe me when I tell you that these people don’t think twice about drinking Budweiser straight from a bottle. Shiver.

If that’s not bad enough, there’s this:

Seriously, that walking petri dish makes Youppi look hygenic. And we’ll be mere yards from it.

Finally, feast your eyes upon the coup de grace, Mason’s fearsome band director/student body “talent wrangler”. This at a publicly-funded institute of higher learning. Oh, and as my wife reminds me, today's my youngest daughter's 4th birthday, so I'm neglecting my fatherly duties in some considerable fashion (at least according to my wife - I'll be at the birthday party with bells on, for Chrissakes). Honestly, kids, the things we at G:TB do so you don’t have to. We’ll be back tomorrow with the gory details. If we make it.

It is a far, far better thing we do today than we've ever done. Think well of us in this time of quiet contemplation and mental preparation. And root against ODU, 'cause the Tribe's gonna need all the help they can get. Litos has it 66-59, Mason, and I like his optimism.

Where's the Hate for Merril Hoge?

Merril Hoge just plain sucks. As the incessant coverage of the NFL 2008 Draft kicks off, we'll see Hoge's redneck face and faux pimp wardrobe plastered all over the ESPNs, making me vomit in my mouth time and time again. I hate M-Ho for various reasons:

1) I hate the way he dresses. It's not close to matching. No way. Not by any stretch of the imagination. I don't even think Andre 3000 could pull off the ridiculous ensembles that Hoge sports. Hoge is a dimwit. He knows football, concussions and group-think comments. I'm not sure why he feels that entitles him to wear pinstriped pumpkin-orange suits, striped shirts and loud ties. Maybe he's going for "a look." If that look is "I shop at Michael Irvin's garage sale," I guess he's pulling off that look just fine.

2) I hate that M-Ho's presence diminishes the time Ron Jaworski is on the air. G:TB is a big fan of Jaws. It may be because Jaws is slowly morphing into Martin Mull, the most under-appreciated 1980's comedic movie performer this side of Dabney Coleman. We're not quite sure. But we know we love to see Jaws break down plays and relay prescient insight from league executives. M-Ho brings none of that. It's all redneck sizzle and no country-fried steak with the bum. And Jaws hates M-Ho as well, as evidenced by the photo below where he shows how he will shoot himself in the head if he has to keep working with M-Ho.
3) I hate that a man from Idaho who played ball in Pittsburgh has an accent like that. I can't figure it out. It confuses my feeble mind. Damn him for that.

4) I hate that he is the poster child of a league with more has-beens with diarrhea-of-the-mouth posing as "experts" than any other sport. Why do we need to see M-Ho, Mark Schlereth and Sean Salisbury talking about teams' draft needs? They're not going to combines. They don't talk to scouts or managers. They don't intimately know any team well. They feebly borrow the thoughts hidden under Kiper's rug and Clayton's balloon-head and regurgitate them as their own thoughts. We have no interest in seeing Tommy Herr, Garth Iorg and Cecil Cooper talk baseball*, so why are we stuck with watching three dull ex-footballers talk football? Wouldn't it be about a million times more interesting to get a trio of beat reporters to talk?

(*That said, G:TB would pay an inordinate amount of money to see Dave Stewart, Oscar Gamble and Amos Otis talk about baseball. Or talk about pretty much anything.)

5) I hate M-Ho because he offers zero insight into the game. Here he is babbling about the 2006 Draft. I believe these comments were the start of the anti-Vince Young vendetta he fights to this day. His comments are not memorable, but his suit is. I think John Wallace wore this 4-button creme special when the Knicks drafted him in 1996.

And, to close, here's another fine clip of M-Ho in an interesting ensemble he seemed to willingly choose. He must've been concussed more than Eric Lindros and Pat LaFontaine combined to think this looks good.