A confluence of events propels me to launch a new potentially-not-recurring series of posts with the theme "What Has zman Driven?". First, Squeaky, a sneaky carguy/baller (sneaky Squeaky) suggested the them during an automotive text exchange this weekend. Second, Marls, a not-so-sneaky baller/fan of strange cars sent me this BaT link this morning. Twas kismet, I have to post about this.
If you're too lazy to click on Marls's link, I'll tell you that it takes you to a 1973 AMC Hornet X Gucci Sportabout. It's glorious and preposterous, so much so that it should be Teedge's WCSAGD.
You're probably saying "So what, it's a green wagon. What's the big deal?" Clock the seats and headliner.
That's real authorized Gucci-branded stuff. According to the listing, "This 1973 AMC Hornet X is one of approximately 4,800 Sportabout wagons equipped with the Gucci interior package featuring beige, green, and red vinyl upholstery along with a Gucci-logo headliner and special exterior badging." It also has a little foot-shaped footrest for your left foot. Here's a clearer photo of it.
This is when you likely call bullschtein on the What Has zMan Driven? aspect of the post and that's partially correct. I have never driven a 1973 AMC Hornet X Gucci Sportabout, but I've spent many miles riding in a yellow (
yellow!) 1976 AMC Hornet Sportabout which looked something like this, absent the wood paneling decal and the happy family.
This was the car my
stepfather drove when he married my mother and it's probably at least one reason why I prefer wagons over SUVs. Our family of five could pile into this shitbox with a week worth's of clothes and sorted sundries to keep us from killing each other between Teaneck and Rochester. I have no idea why families of four need a Suburban for a weekend at the beach.
Anyway, at least 15% of our Hornet's mass was rust. It had an unmatched capacity to oxidize and my stepfather would always admonish us not to pick at the rust because he sincerely feared the whole thing might fall apart if you flaked off some schmutz from the wrong part of the car. Despite spending its life in Arizona, Florida, and California, this Gucci version has some rust on it too, so it's an honest authentic example of the breed.
Unlike this Gucci, our Hornet had a manual transmission, three-on-the-tree-with-overdrive (my stepfather was very proud of the overdrive and would always say "it's a three-speed with overdrive" instead of "it's a four-speed."). Another point of differentiation is that ours had a single bench seat in front, unlike the Gucci's fancy split bench, which meant that the three of us in the back greatly enjoyed when my mother would take a leg of our roadtrips because she had to slide the whole thing forward to reach the pedals. The big driveshaft tunnel down the middle of the car would get really hot so out of fairness we rotated who had the middle seat straddling it.
The "Weather Eye" HVAC system brings back memories of riding in the middle of the front seat between my stepfather and my mother.
Lots of good times in the Hornet and with my stepfather, who was also my brother (he was a Pi Lam at Ohio Wesleyan). He died this summer after complications from a fall so he never got to drive a Gucci Hornet Sportabout, but I don't think he minded too much. We were all happy to part ways with the rusty yellow Hornet in 1985, but not at all happy to part ways with him this summer.
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