Self-serving gifts are gifts you will enjoy as much as the recipient. Vacations are great self-serving gifts. For example, I took zwoman to California early in our relationship. We hung out with friends in San Francisco where we ate well and drank deeply, then we went to San Diego where we also ate well and drank deeply and went to a Padres game and the zoo and the beach and had a great time. Tickets to concerts and sporting events are smaller gifts but can be equally self-serving.
At this stage in our lives, vacations often aren't gift-tacular because we have to bring our kids with us and they tend to make things harder than they need to be. And zwoman would rather go to bed early than go to a concert these days.
Up until recently I was still able to rely on some of my lesser but still wonderfully self-serving gifts. But no longer. The last time I gave zwoman some lingerie she held it up and said "What am I going to do this?" I can't blame her, last time I saw myself naked I exclaimed "What the hell happened to me?!" I've started hanging a sheet over the bathroom mirror so I don't accidentally catch a glimpse of myself coming out of the shower. It's like I'm sitting shiva over here.
Similarly, she still uses the gift cards to the waxing salon but not necessarily where I intended. On Monday morning she told me she was going over there and I guess she saw the hopeful expression on my face and tone in my voice when I said "Oh?" because she replied "Don't get excited, they're waxing my mustache." Such is life in our sixth decade.
Perhaps you're in the same boat. You can still find a gift that serves you as much as your loved one. This year I got zwoman a bread maker for Christmas and it paid off tremendously. She really enjoys making bread. I enjoy eating warm, fresh, homemade bread. Everyone wins. And she's been a bakin' fool with this thing, at least three loaves a week. Whole wheat, French, rye, white, gluten-free, you name it she's baked it.
Maybe you and your lady can't take vacations like you used to, or go out like you used to, or fornicate in naughty attire with clean-as-a-whistle delicates like you used to, but you can still eat fresh bread every day. Go get her a bread maker. You'll thank me later.
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