Asswipe

Michael Dubin is trying to fuck with one of the refuges we men have left. Dubin, the founder of Dollar Shave Club, recently introduced One Wipe Charlies, a sanitary wipe for men designed to speed the, um, asswiping process.

As Dubin explains, "Everybody wipes their ass." (To which we reply, no shit, dude. Literally.) The aloe vera and chamomile infused wipes are designed to allow men to speed their post-kid-dropoff routines and improve their hygiene at the same time. We'll let him tell you more in his own words.



I don't know about the rest of you, but I cherish the 10 minutes I get every evening after I walk in the door, kiss the wife and kids, and head upstairs to remove my workaday clothes and enter the throne room. I take my time in there, reading Sports Illustrated or Wired or Gheorghe: The Blog. I decompress. When I'm good and ready, I wipe as many times as I goddamn please. And then I return to my family a calm, happy, relaxed husband and father.

Michael Dubin wants to take my me time away. And I won't have it. Wipe your own ass once, Dubin. Leave mine alone.