I'm not really breaking now ground on the interweb with this one, but Superbad has
been trapped on this guy's DVR for a while now, and it may never come off. The first 30 minutes are classic. Jonah Hill brings the goods with every other line. Here's a snippet to get you through your Hump Day morning.“Well I’m sorry, Evan, that the Coen brothers don’t direct the porn I watch. They’re hard to get a hold of, okay?”
“You ever seen a vagina by itself? Not for me.”
“You know what I do? I flip my boner up into my waistband. It hides it and it feels awesome. I almost blew a load into my belly button.”
“And (she dated) Matt Muir. He’s the sweetest guy ever. Have you ever stared into his eyes? It’s like the first time I heard the Beatles.”
“I’m not gonna dance around it. She looks like a good fucker.”
“When am I gonna need to cook tiramisu? Am I gonna be a chef. No. There’s two weeks left in school. Give me a fuckin’ break.”
“For some reason, I don’t know why, I would just kind a sit around all day and draw pictures of dicks.”
“They literally made me stop eating foods shaped like dicks. No hot dogs, no popsicles. You know how many foods are shaped like dicks? The best kinds.”
“Well, Jules, the funny thing about my back is that it’s located on my cock.”
“She wants to fuck me. She wants my dick. In and around her mouth.”
“She looked me in the eyes and said ‘Seth, Mama’s making a pubey salad and I need some Seth’s own dressing.”
“Making her tits smaller? That’s like slapping God across the face for giving you a gorgeous gift.”
“I gotta catch a glimpse of these warlocks. Let’s make a move.”
“I’m sorry. You used my leg as a tampon.”
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