G:TB, Proud 1.6 Percenters

Or, said differently, there's a reasonably high likelihood that one of the members of the Community of Gheorghe is among the 1,946,677 Americans hungover at work on any given day. On this fine Monday, that's me, courtesy of a two-day weekend holiday party bender. Salud.

Now You Tell Me

I dropped a link to a Fast Company story about American drinking and hangover habits into the drafts folder several months ago, figuring it'd be a decent filler at some point. Now, as I finally get back to it and actually read the story, I'm kicking myself. It would've been really helpful had I read it two days ago.

A company called Blowfish markets what they purport to be the most effective hangover cure on the market. In their words, 

Blowfish is a lemon-flavored fizzy tablet that will stop the pounding in your hungover head faster than you can imagine. It’s the only hangover product with a formulation recognized as effective by the FDA (which is kind of a big deal). Doctors use it. Bartenders swear by it. And we guarantee it’s the best remedy out there – so you’ve got absolutely nothing to lose by trying it (except, you know, your hangover).

I started drinking at around 1:00 p.m. yesterday, on a postcard perfect fall afternoon in Williamsburg. I stopped sometime around 2:00 in the morning, though the details are a bit fuzzy. Clarence claims he saw me and another of our friends struggling to get into our hotel room at around that time, which sounds odd to me, as I think I remember leaving him with some other friends in an entirely different hotel room.

Either way, my 7:00 a.m. wakeup call this morning found me somewhere between groggy and abjectly addled. You all know the symptoms, so I'll spare the litany, but this hangover had (still has, really) representation from the entire catalogue. An effervescent assist would've been blessed.

According to Blowfish's research, aptly named Intoxication Nation, Virginia is the 34th-most hungover state in the Union. However, the District of Columbia clocks in at the top of the charts, the single most-hungover jurisdiction in all the land. And since there are large parts of the Old Dominion that considers Northern Virginia essentially an extension of D.C., I feel it appropriate to claim residency in our Nation's Capital, at least for this express purpose. I've certainly lived up (down) to it today.

Gheorghey New Year!

Footy Filler

In typical Gheorghian fashion, we've waited until the final day of the Barclays Premier League season to bother writing about soccer. We'll make up for it with a mishmash of semi-related footie items.

In Paris yesterday, David Beckham played what will likely be the final match of his storied career, as Paris Saint Germain topped Brest, 3-1. While his international celebrity outpaced his on-pitch performance, Becks will go down as one of England's all-time greats. Very few in the history of the sport can match the accuracy of his service and his ability on set pieces. Check out arguably the most famous goal of his career, the 2002 strike against Greece that sent England to the World Cup and inspired the movie, 'Bend It Like Beckham':


David Beckham goal - England v Greece 2002 by fatv

If you're reading this before 11:00 you've still got time to turn on Fox Soccer Channel to catch Tottenham Hotspur taking on Sunderland in a final bid to overtake Arsenal and snare the BPL's Champions League berth. The Gunners play at Newcastle at the same time, needing a win to ensure the all-important 4th place finish.

Matheson's late goal gave Canada bronze at the 2012 Olympics

Closer to home, the Washington Spirit beat the Seattle Reign, 4-2, earlier in the week to capture the franchise's first-ever National Women's Soccer League win and improve to 1-2-3 on the season (combined with DC United, local professional soccer squads are a dismal 2-11-4 in league play this year). Canadian national team stalwart Diana Matheson scored the Spirit's first goal, her league-leading 4th of the season. Matheson also paces the NWSL with 10 points. More importantly, she's also my daughter's favorite player. We've attended two Spirit games this season, and the 5'1" Matheson was, by far, the smallest woman on the field. Nonetheless, she tallied goals in each of those games, inspiring my little one, who will be lucky if she makes it to 5'1". You can have 'Bend It Like Beckham' - we're Driven Like Diana up in here.

Finally, if you want an entertaining (and far more knowledgeable) take on all things footie, check out FOG:TB John Day's stylings over at Dangerman Futbol. Maybe next season, anyway.

Wanted

This is the bourbon that crushed me on December 30th. It disguises itself as a delicious, affordable single-barrel bourbon. It then seduces you into drinking a half-dozen rocks glasses, each one getting larger than the prior. Then you wake up the next morning and say "Ow, my head. Owwwwwww, my head" a thousand times.

Evan Williams. A bottle of mayhem disguised as a delicious bourbon. You've been warned.