Ceai Complet: Commenter Shout-Outs

Anytime you can make "Cornbread" Mayhugh laugh for 10 minutes and it's not a Ziggy cartoon, you've done something right. In that light, this one's for you sir - similar hairdos, similar masculinity:

Dan Dakich '08 = Steve Fisher '89

I am fully aware Kelvin Sampson has yet to be fired, with "yet" being the operative word. Despite huge wins for his team over conference rivals Michigan State and Purdue in the last week, the Indiana University administration is days away from suspending Sampson (allegedly), with most believing that is simply the intermediate step to firing Sampson (without getting sued like the Ohio State/Jim O'Brien situation). The likely successor for Sampson - current assistant and former Hoosier Dan Dakich. Which got me to thinking...when was the last time a big time program with national title aspirations switched coaches this late in the season?
[And for those reading this and saying, "What an asshat. Sampson isn't getting fired. Go back to posting YouTubes" all I can say is "Can I interest you in some prime ocean front property in Las Cruces?"]

As the title indicates, I immediately thought of one fantastic, if not 100% perfect, parallel:
Steve Fisher taking over the Michigan Wolverines as they entered the 1989 NCAA Tournament.

Chew on these similarities:

• Dakich would have 4 or 5 games to finish the regular season (and maybe 2 more in Big Ten tourney), and after getting his feet wet he can go 6-0 to win the title (Fisher of course just decided to start his career going 6-0 and winning a title...no warm ups needed for Steve-O)
• The '89 Wolverines were an offensive juggernaut, with five players averaging at least 11ppg. They also led the nation in field-goal percentage, hitting 56.6 percent of their attempts. The '08 Hoosiers have basically four guys averaging 10ppg (Jordan Crawford is at 9.9) and they aren't too shabby in the shooting department, making 47.5% of their field goals on the season.
• Fisher's team had Glen Rice, a second-team All-American, and Rumeal Robinson to lead the club. Dakich has D.J. White and super frosh Eric Gordon leading the club.
• Current IU record: 22-4, 11-2 in conference. According to bracket nerd Joe Lunardi, they are projected to be a #5 seed entering the dance but that seed could easily bump up a line or two in the coming weeks. The '89 Michigan club? 30-7, 12-6 in conference...and a #3 seed entering the tourney.

Just remember a month from now when you're filling out your brackets who told you the Dan Dakich-led Indiana Hoosiers were winning the 2008 title. In return, I simply ask for a small percentage of your profits for this prescient prediction.

Shudder to Think

One of G:TB’s internet pals made an offhand comment several days ago about the Washington Redskins’ organizational difficulties, referring to the team’s management as the Snyder Administration. At that instant, my blood ran cold, and chills chased down my spine, as 8+ years of ineptitude, suffering, and negligence crystallized in one searingly clear insight: Dan Snyder and George W. Bush are the same guy.

Consider the following:

• Both Snyder and Bush ascended to their current positions not on merit, but basically because they both had pantsloads of money.
• Both Snyder and Bush were the beneficiaries of malfeasance during an initial selection process (Milstein is Gore is Finkel is Einhorn).
• Both Snyder and Bush lost the approval of the masses long ago, yet each clings to their post in almost mocking fashion.
• Both Snyder and Bush go to enormous lengths to control media access and religiously adhere to message discipline.
• Both Snyder and Bush have megalomaniacal tendencies.
• Both Snyder and Bush are embroiled in long, tedious, poorly planned campaigns marked by frequent claims of incremental success followed by even more frequent evidence of decline into chaos. See Redskins, Champions of the Offseason. See also, Redskins 23, Jets 20 followed by Eagles 33, Redskins 25. Finally, see also, Iraq, War in.
• Both Snyder and Bush have terrible environmental records. Snyder cut down 50,000 square feet of trees on federally protected land, while Bush gave Alaska to oil companies.
• Both Snyder and Bush have exhibited terrible judgment in initially hiring and then protecting loyalists in the face of overwhelming evidence of their incompetence. See Cerrato, Vinny, and Gonzalez, Alberto, among others. Brownie’s still doing a heckuva job somewhere.
• Both Snyder and Bush have turned once-proud entities into pale imitations of their former selves - laughingstocks to outsiders and embarrassing affronts to their most ardent supporters.
• Both Snyder and Bush deeply damaged the legacies of respected leaders (Joe Gibbs, Colin Powell, and George H.W. Bush).
• Snyder owns Redskins One. Bush thinks he owns Air Force One.
• Both Snyder and Bush have subordinates with questionable firearms safety habits. Redskins safety Sean Taylor pointed a handgun at a guy he suspected of stealing his ATV, while Vice President Dick Cheney blew some dude’s face off while grouse hunting. (Note: this item only applies if you actually believe that Cheney is Bush’s subordinate.)
• Both Snyder and Bush have spent profligately on highly questionable programs despite widespread advice to the contrary. See Lloyd, Brandon; Smith, Bruce; Sanders, Deion and Prescription Benefit, Medicaid.
• Both Snyder and Bush have soaked the little guy while cozying up to the wealthiest among us.
• Snyder’s father famously bought him an enormous Redskins belt buckle, while Bush wears enormous belt buckles to make people think he’s a cowboy.

Finally, and most depressingly, both Snyder and Bush think they’re right, and we’re stuck with both of them. And I hate 110-yard fields, so Canada’s just not an option. I need a drink.

"Laces Out" Night at the Ballpark

The Red Sox Class A team, the Lowell Spinners, sure do seem to know promotions. I count 38 promotional nights already, with the newest addition being June 24th, when the Spinners will trot out Stephen "You're no Vinatieri, You Bum" Gostowski to kick autographed footballs into the stands as part of "New England Patriots Night" at the Spinners' LeLacheur Park. I can only hope Spinners RHP Felix Ventura can get involved in this.

"I'm looking for Stephen Gostowski...and a clean pair of shorts."