I'm not sure what the best method is to get Washington Nationals' President Stan Kasten's attention (perhaps Agent Steinbog can help), so I figured why not try the the worst possible choice: serenade him. Stan, below you can sing along as we beg and plead with you to rid the franchise of it's management malice, esteemed GM *cough cough* Jim Bowden.A few words first, if we may. Don't kid yourself Stan - Bowden getting Dmitri Young as a blue light special is pure luck. I might love the guy, but Dmitri could've just as easily ended up like Elijah Dukes, only 200 pounds heavier. Jim's failure to garner anything (spare me the draft picks talk) for Alfonso Soriano last year was borderline criminal. GM Jim is a no talent ass clown and he must go. Now.
Frankly, the last straw for us here at G:TB (in particular, for Dennis and me), was this completely asinine and baffling move Mr. Bowden made yesterday:
Nationals option outfielder Brandon Watson to Triple-A Columbus.
Wow, Stan, did you realize Nook Logan and Ryan Langerhans were the answer for your ballclub in CF? I sure didn't. You realize Nook was so terrible he completely gave up switch hitting three weeks ago, and now has 1 hit in the last three weeks to show for it. And Langerhans, good lord, don't get me started on this guy. In 137 ABs this year, Ryan has a .137 BA, .288 OBP and even more abysmal .277 SLG. Joe Borchard is laughing at this guy. I beg of you Stan, try to get a straight answer from the bi-polar Bowden...I don't think it's possible. Have you ever seen your GM in these interviews with local sportscaster and trivia aficionado Brett Haber? If you haven't, I suggest you play a few of those clips, after you listen to our lovely song of course.
Stan, your manager (who deserves a tremendous amount of credit for keeping this ragtag bunch competitive all year...and while I'm here, somebody give Randy St. Clair a medal for getting wins out of Jason Simontacchi, Micah Bowie, Matt Chico, etc...), sure seemed to like Watson, starting him in all five games since his call-up from Columbus. And Watson had not disappointed, going 5 for 18 in that brief stint, adding speed and excitement (2 R, 2 RBI, 1 SB) to an increasingly plodding lineup. Hell, I think Bob Carpenter wanted to marry Watson. The time has come Mr. Kasten. Jim Bowden must go.
Stan, enough of my ramblings - sit back, relax and let the dulcet tones of Bobby McFerrin guide you:
Here's a little song I stole
You might want to ponder your payroll
Please Hurry, Fire Jimmy.
In every life you have some trouble
But having Jimmy makes it double
Please Hurry, Fire Jimmy.
Please Hurry, Fire Jimmy Now.
Please Hurry, Fire Jimmy. Please Hurry, Fire Jimmy.
Please Hurry, Fire Jimmy. Please Hurry, Fire Jimmy.
Jim's got the team on its deathbed
Stan, take him behind the woodshed
Please Hurry, Fire Jimmy.
Gheorghe say the move can't wait
Ted may have to mediate
Please Hurry, Fire Jimmy.
Please Hurry, Fire Jimmy. Please Hurry, Fire Jimmy.
Please Hurry, Fire Jimmy. Please Hurry, Fire Jimmy.
(Look at Gheorghe -- he's happy. Please Hurry, Fire Jimmy. Here I give you my phone number. When you axe him, call me, I pay you nicely. Please Hurry, Fire Jimmy.)
Jim got no skills, but tons of guile
Jim got no gal to make him smile
But Please Hurry, Fire Jimmy.
'Cause when you waver my face will frown
And that will bring everybody down
So Please Hurry, Fire Jimmy. Please Hurry, Fire Jimmy Now.
Please Hurry, Fire Jimmy. Please Hurry, Fire Jimmy.
Please Hurry, Fire Jimmy. Please Hurry, Fire Jimmy.
(Please Hurry, Please Hurry, please do it. Fire Jimmy. Put a smile on my face. Don't bring everybody down. Please Hurry, Fire Jimmy...)
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