Because I'm tired of looking at...

...Calvin urinating on the World Wide Leader, here's the YouTube Filler Clip of the Day, and frankly, it's awesome:

Because I’m tired of looking at...

...LeVar Burton, I figured I'd submit my first candidate to replace "Don't Cry For Me" Mike Mussina in the Yankees rotation (despite what Mike thinks of himself**, he is going to get replaced...at this point, even Carl Pavano looks like a decent alternative). On the plus side, Jimmy the Greek said that since this candidate is Hispanic he'll be good at baseball. Of course, on the flip side, candidate numero uno will most likely get tossed from virtually every game he plays in due to the oil and lotion that drips on the ball each inning. Enjoy the bullpen Moose...

**Mussina's ego might even be bigger than his ERA. When the New York Times questioned Musina about possibly being replaced in the rotation, his retort was "Who are they going to replace me with?"

Because I’m tired of looking at...

...Larry King's mugshot (well, really, Whit is apparently more sick of it than me, since he took the time out of his "busy" schedule to send an email), you get to enjoy the video below. So yeah, I'm basically masking my love of YouTube video posting (not very well I might add) as a new Monday feature here at G:TB. As I sat in that seventh level of Hell called O'Hare airport last Thursday afternoon, I was trying to decide what my favorite Chicago-based film was...and after quickly dismissing Nico Toscani and his tour de force performance in Above the Law, the contest came down to two films for me, and though we all loved pre-vehicular manslaughter Matthew Broderick as Ferris, Jake and Elwood cannot be topped. Enjoy...

There's nothing better than a toasted peanut butter and jelly sandwich

Because I’m tired of looking at Bob Costas, let’s span the globe looking for the ridiculous and the sublime, Larry King-style.

One half of the G:TB editorial staff was stuck in airports yesterday evening because of inclement weather on the East Coast. I know with certainty that Whitney spent the night in Newark, stuffing his 6’5” frame in a chair near baggage claim. As noted below, advantage, short people. We’re still waiting to hear from Teejay.

Rick Ankiel is my new favorite story of the baseball season. From phenom to pre-garters Nuke Laloosh to hard-luck injury story to Roy Hobbs in the span of seven years.

David Beckham sounds like a Muppet. A Muppet with a cockney accent. Best that he should avoid postgame interviews when possible.

Ken Tremendous of firejoemorgan.com published a column in this week’s issue of Sports Illustrated. Worlds are colliding, Jerry. I think that’s a brilliant move by SI on a number of levels. One, they get to use the weight of the blogosphere as a marketing tool – now every Tom, Dick, and Gheorghe will be on their jocks trying to get their 15 column inches of fame. Two, it signals a growing willingness on SI’s part to diverge from the conventional wisdom. It’ll be interesting to see if they begin taking seriously the idea that mainstream sports broadcasting has no clothes. Finally, Ken Tremendous can write, and SI’s always been a bastion for terrific wordsmiths. Kudos to KT and SI.

John Kitna says that the Lions will win 10 games this year. That’s a joke that writes itself. Just stand back and watch the giggles begin.

Is Jon Jansen’s much-hyped RV a 21st Century version of the storied 5:00 Club? The Redskins had much success during Gibbs I when they had a handful of agent provocateurs in the Riggo mold. If Jansen, Casey Rabach, and Rabach’s nutsack can capture a little of that irreverent spirit, a certain national broadcaster cum local columnist may need to test the engine on a different sort of recreational vehicle. The obtuse nature of that last sentence is very much intentional.

I learned this week that William and Mary’s head men’s basketball coach makes about as much money as a first-year associate at a decent-sized Richmond law firm. That was a stupefying moment, frankly, and well captures Tribe Hoops’ place in the Division I pecking order.