Almost exactly a year ago, we celebrated a uniquely-built ballplayer with a great story. Cal "Big Dumper" Raleigh took the G:TB endorsement and ran with it, finishing 2025 with 60 homers and a .948 OPS and leading the Mariners to the seventh game of the American League Championship Series. At the time, we were a bit cautious in our appreciation, given the fact that Raleigh plays a MAGA-forward sport and was raised in Tennessee and North Carolina.
Raleigh's off to an injury-riddled slow start in 2026, but as of yet, hasn't displayed any egregiously bad politics, so we'll count that as a win. For now.
With Raleigh on the shelf, we need a new object of affection. A different beefy lad with an arsenal of quirks, perhaps. And boy, do we have somebody for you.
Red Sox left-hander Payton Tolle (pronounced TOLL-ee) made his debut in the bigs last season, appearing in seven games at the end of the season. Perhaps you caught this video of his welcome to the bigs gentle hazing session:
Tolle's settled in during this, his second campaign in the bigs (though he's technically still a rookie). He's started nine games for the middling Sox, recording 54 Ks in 53.1 innings and posting a 2.70 ERA and a 1.050 WHIP. The 6'6", 250 lb. left-hander has been one of Boston's few bright spots on the field, and an unquestionable nut job on it. Witness, for example, this...whatever it was and his post-game remarks:
As one might imagine, a lad of Tolle's dimensions who grew up in Oklahoma and played college ball at Wichita State and TCU (please no MAGA, please no MAGA), he's a fan of the cow. Here's one of his stories on the topic:
My favorite Tolle moment of the season happened last week against the Orioles. He induced a high chop to third from Orioles' catcher Samuel Basallo and then, well, then he did this:
Tolle is, as you might suspect, fast becoming a fan favorite. We'll leave you with this minute-long clip of Tolle being Tolle. Just an absolute lunatic (complimentary). Monkey never cramp.
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But does he have fungus on his shower shoes?
ReplyDeleteHighly enjoyable dude. 72-oz steak is mammoth. Maybe literally.
ReplyDeleteDon't knock mammoth steak until you try it.
ReplyDeleteI guess most of us are about to be space-x investors, like it or not. I do not like it.
I was chatting with one of my dad's maga coded friends the other day who espoused egod musk's success in doing space exploration for a fraction of the previous cost. I told him that he's been around enough scam artists that he should be able to suss out what's going on here. I appreciate the chance to have interactions like this where you can speak freely without it becoming contentious. Quite rare nowadays.