NBA Action.......It's Fantastic (Especially When You Stay Up Late With Drugs And Don't Have to Go to Work)

We are now one week beyond my spine surgery. My scruff is turning into a real mess, I can't drive, my neck brace is annoying and I have a large bandage slowly falling off my neck. But on the positive side, nobody is nagging me to shower, folks buy food I want, the opioid-induced constipation has passed, and it's a very good stretch of the sports calendar for a fan on the mend. And I am stocked with licit and illicit narcotics to make the pain and ennui more tolerable.



A key component of passing the time has been watching the first two nights of the NBA season. With many stars on the move and a lot of high-profile rookies entering the league, I am excited to dig in and attempt to forget the dumpster fire that is the New York Jets.

One of my favorite things about the NBA is analyzing box scores. I did it religiously as a kid, when my mom would come home from work at 530 PM and hand me the sports section so I could learn what happened the previous night. While I have been able to watch chunks of five different NBA games over two nights, I have dug into all the box scores. I thought I would share my favorite five findings from the first two nights:

1) Andrew Wiggins gonna Andrew Wiggins.  You may have noticed Wiggins scored 21 points last night. Sounds impressive right? Like he's finally becoming the second T-Wolves threat that should keep folks from double-teaming KAT? Um, not really. It took Wiggins 27 shots to get there. And he had 0 assists. In 36 minutes. With KAT as a teammate. That is piss poor. I leave you with an eloquently titled YouTube video that sums up how T-Wolves fans feel about Wiggins.



2) PJ Washington has no fucks to give - award him the ROY now. My oldest kid somehow became a Kentucky Wildcats fan a couple years ago. So we watched their basketball team a lot last season. Tyler Herro was a beast for that team, but PJ Washington was the soul of the team. He has the game of an old-school power forward, but also with explosive leaping and nice mid-range jumper. He came out of the gates in a big way in his first game last night. The rookie PF who was the 12th pick overall for the Hornets started and lit up the Bulls with 27 points in 38 minutes. While he only had 4 rebounds, he did go 7 of 11 from the 3-pt line. New school PF stats. Bonus tidbit - the official favorite backup PG of G:TB had himself a game. Devonte' Graham is the backup PG for the Hornets. He put up 23 pts and 8 assists in 27 minutes and had a +18 rating. He backed up the egregiously overpaid Terry Rozier, who put up 7 pts and 6 assists in 30 minutes.



3. CTC for Jake Layman. My wife is a Maryland alumna. We pay attention to them. We went to an unremarkable Maryland-Marshall game in December 2015. We saw what was a pretty stacked Terps squad (Diamond Stone, Melo Trimble, Robert Carter). They also had a glue guy at SF named Jake Layman. Jake averaged b/w 11-13 ppg during his sophomore/junior/senior years. He ended up turning his "honorable mention All Big Ten" credentials as a senior into a second round pick. He took advantage of the opportunities he got with the Blazers early on in his career to get himself a nice little paycheck. Before this year (his fourth as a pro), he signed a 3-year, $11.5 MM contract with the T-Wolves. In his first game, he played 23 minutes off the bench and scored 10 pts, going 2 for 4 from behind the arc. Keep cutting them checks for Jake, who may have parlayed one strong quarter (see below) and a decent outside shot into a longer career than anybody expected.



4. Knicks have not lost that dumpster fire feeling. I'm going to give you two quintets of Knicks. Quintet 1: Marcus Morris, RJ Barrett, Bobby Portis, Julius Randle, Alonzo Trier. Quintet 2: Taj Gibson, Kevin Knox, Dennis Smith Jr., Elfrid Payton, Wayne Ellington. I want you to guess which group started the first game. I then want you to guess which quintet is bettter. I'll spare you the tension - the former quintet started their first game. And I bet the latter is the better group. The Knicks will suck ass this year, with an overabundance of redundant frontcourt veterans. The front office will feel compelled to play them, at the expense of Dennis Smith Jr and Kevin Knox. This franchise is awful. I rescinded my fandom over a decade ago, but was hoping they'd be remotely watchable this year. They won't be. And I'm further conflicted b/c MSG shares are a compelling value around the $269 level. The sum-of-the-parts value is high for that company and activist investors may be able to force that value unlock. If Dolan sells, I may unrescind the fandom that I rescinded. Lots of rescission potential on the horizon. Does that make sense? If not, give me a pass b/c Tramadol. Here is crazy Rappaport and Jim Norton doing a Mystery Science Theatre 3000-esque takedown of a video of Dolan's band.



5. Y'all Vleet Vleet Vleet Vleet. Freddy VanVleet had himself a ball game in the opener. With Kawhi gone and Kyle Lowry at the end of his peak, there are shots that need to be taken by the Raptors. Pascal Siakam should take another leap, but Freddy V has a big opportunity to do so as well. He opened the year with 34 points and 7 assists against the Pelicans. He only started 28 games last year, averaging 11 ppg, but we could see a huge uptick this year. He's only 25 y/o, so plenty of room for advancement. Will be fun to watch.

More fun games on tap for tonight: Bucks @ Rockets and Clippers @ Warriors. As your attorney, I advise you to get into an appropriate state of mind and enjoy.