This post is dedicated to our resident trail walker, who appears to prescribe to the "band is only as strong as its weakest link" argument. Would we have to reconsider the Beatles under that scenario? (sorry Ringo)
In the picture above, and in the videos below, you can get a look at "JD and the Straight Shot," the "band" put together by the bloated trust fund billionaire and walking punchline, James Dolan. You may remember him as the worst owner in the NBA this side of Donald Sterling.
Watching the videos, you can see the souls of the session players slowly dying. Fat Jim must pay the shit out of them to suck it up and pretend to not be miserable. The first video is my favorite, for obvious reasons. Go to the 25 second mark for the fun to start. The other videos highlight the absurdly high production value of the videos, which overshadow the banal mediocrity of the music. And if you've been paying attention over the years, the band has pivoted from blues to Americana. Good luck with that dude.
A recurrent text string on YouTube for this "band's" videos: "Comments are disabled for this video"
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19 comments:
I think, and I think Rootsy thinks, that the weakest link theory is correct if it’s the front man. You can hide mediocrity in certain corners of the stage, just not front and center. Dave always said that the bass player was like the catcher in softball; you have to have one, but they don’t have to be very good.
He has the same teeth as Trump. It's like there's a requirement that all these elderly NYers who inherited a ton of money and act like assholes have to have identical veneers installed. I bet Fred Wilpon has fancy aftermarket choppers too.
I'd find the band and its music almost likeable if they simply promoted the female to lead vocalist. But then I'm guessing we'd never see one of these videos again, which would be sad. #Conundrum.
Whit is right about what I think. If the front person doesn't have it, whoever is behind them, no matter how good they are, aren't going to rescue it from sucking.
I agree with the bass player theory too, but only if the bassist knows they aren't good and makes damn sure to hit the root note on the one. A bad bassist who wants to "shine" can bring things way down in a hurry. You can't hide a bad bass note. I was the semi-competent bass player in a country band for a short while, and had to fight the urge to do more.
Is ... is that ... Stimulator Jones!?!
Diamond Dave was the weak link in Van Halen, musically, but made up for it w/ his peacocking. More sizzle than steak, but it worked for the band.
Yes Z, that is Stimulator in an earlier, Gram Parsons inspired persona. We had a few country heaters in that band too, but there is only vid or the slow tunes.
Vintage DLR is a great example of a performer maximizing his abilities. Singing is tricky business - if you're half-assing it, you're not going to move anybody.
Rootsy holding a Mosrite electric bass guitar? Do my eyes deceive me??
The JD footage reminds me of the time they let Kevin Costner open up for Little Jimmy Dickens at the Grand Ole Opry. It's as bad as you think would be. I almost had a stroke. This isn't the exact performance, but you get the idea.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CpgmOObaTE8
sizzle!
speaking of people who are shitty at things, i played golf on friday for the first time in about a year. in general, i did fine. made a few longish putts, hit a couple of decent balls off the tee, was largely and laughably inept with my irons. one shot does stand out.
at the course we played, there's a long par-4 that parallels a divided four-lane highway (it's within a couple of drivers from redskins park). the fairway travels straight for about 180 yards before doglegging sharply to the right. as a guy who plays a fade off the tee nearly religiously, it suits my eye beautifully.
so i teed up my ball, aimed left of the fairway, and swung hard. friends, i fucking killed that drive. it left my clubface in a hurry, headed left of left and long of long (for me). it did not, however, gently bend to the right and hug the contour of the fairway. our entire foursome was certain that the ball landed hard on loudoun county parkway, where traffic rolls at 45 mph. certain, though we couldn't confirm it because there's a row of hedges that blocked our view from the ball's ultimate resting place.
yesterday, i picked my daughter up at her cheerleading gym, which is also hard by loudoun county parkway. as we drove past the golf course, and the hole in question, i kept my eyes on the side of the road.
to my chagrin, but not surprise, one perfect little white orb lay lonely in the curbside detritus, a long way from the tee box, and a very long way from the fairway.
certain, and now confirmed.
but i hit the shit out of that drive.
Did you stop and verify that it was your ball? If it landed on the parkway it could have kicked on beyond.
That such a wayward shot is the positive takeaway from your round is a testament to human optimism and the appeal of golf. That feeling when you connect is really good, results be damned!
The last time I played any significant amount of golf was my freshman year at W&M, when Bartholomaus used to take Sammy the Bull and me out to Ford's Colony quite often. I'm an every five years or so golfer now.
Longish putz is an oxymoron, no?
Rootsy, don't rain on Rob's revelry.
This Sixers-Heat series is really fun.
that's some cringe-worthy music! and my bass theory is out the window-- we are preparing five song parodies for faculty follies and my buddy bob carries the band with his five string bass (and his very excellent singing). i'm going to play the guitar riff from charlie puth's "attention" (but we're playing "detention" . . . weird all has nothing on us) in front of six hundred people . . . i'm a little nervous. lot of string skipping in that riff. i wrote some really gross lyrics for "welcome to the EB cafeteria."
weird all sounds about right for you guys.
and seriously, rootsy. i thought you were a romantic.
Sorry. Nice drive Rob!
How long before Trevor Noah is given his walking papers from the Daiky Show? Also, you can say “shit” on Comedy Central without a bleep?
Hi Rob! Nice drive.
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