Sunday, March 02, 2014

Man's Best Friend

As most of you know, I'm training for the 2014 Yuengling Shamrock Marathon (and hoping that someone else brings beer to the after-party), which goes off two weeks from today. Among other things, this means I've been logging serious miles in generally polar temperatures. I don't think I've run in less than three layers during the entire 10-week training program.

And as all of you know, at least the menfolk, cold weather has deleterious effects on one's member. As the body seeks to conserve heat in the core, bloodflow to extremities is restricted. I wear gloves to protect my fragile, circulatorily-compromised fingers. But I was unaware of a similar remedy for my man region.

Until now, that is.

Gentlemen, and the ladies that love us, I give you the ThermaJock. I'll allow the good people from the company to describe it: "Our technologically advanced Polartec® Thermal Pro material helps to prevent pain and frostbite while providing comfort and warmth to every man's most sensitive area."

Comfort and warmth are good. Pain and frostbite, bad. God bless you, ThermaJock.

I've ordered one for each of you. Wear them with honor.

44 comments:

  1. So they come in children's sizes then?

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'm all in on True Detective, albeit a bit late. I was hooked after one episode and it keeps getting better. It's like a gritty Twin Peaks without the weird gimmicks.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I think it's great the Wizards have won six games in a row, and seem to have weathered the Nene injury quite well, but they are totally fucked in they remain the 5 seed in the East and have to play a 4-seeded Bulls team in the first rounds. Thibs team's defense and playoff experience will pown WittmanFace and Les Boulez.

    ReplyDelete
  4. mark, did you go to school with izzy gutierrez?

    ReplyDelete
  5. teejus, the bulls will pass the raptors for the three seed, thus benefitting the wiz. jimmer shoulda told you.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Marls and I are at MSG for Johnnies-DePaul and beers. Is good.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Just saw Malik Sealy and Rich Aurilia (among others) inducted into the SJU HoF. Interesting. Also, these beers are good.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Marls wants me to clarify that Malik Sealy is dead so we saw his wife and son represent him. Very sorry if I misled anyone.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Reading Malik Sealy's name bummed me out. I loved that guy. Fucked up death for him.

    As for Izzy, Rob, I believe he was a few years ahead of me and thus were not Florida students at the same time.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Randy Moss' daughter apparently went to Florida last year and transferred to a DIII school where she scored 63 points the other day. This makes me feel very old.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Made our way to John's pizza post SJU victory. Whit is carb loading for the shamrock 8K.

    ReplyDelete
  12. She did, Z. She was a fairly high profile recruit and bolted from the program at Florida after one season. I thought it was really odd that she transferred down to D3. But maybe she just wanted to be able to shoot all the time. Can't blame her, I guess. Being a gunner can be quite fun.

    ReplyDelete
  13. kq and dave share a birthday? did we know that? and mr kq and my little one do, as well. i'm confused by all of this, but hope you all had terrific days.

    ReplyDelete
  14. I hear there is another winter storm on the way for you folks. Meanwhile, I went surfing this afternoon.

    ReplyDelete
  15. karma's a bitch. i hope you got sand in your asscrack.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Also, I really enjoy True Detective. I also have no fucking clue how they're wrapping everything up in these last two episodes.

    ReplyDelete
  17. I didn't get sand in my ass crack. Sorry, Rob. Now I'm sitting outside at a bar having a Lagunitas IPA on draft. It's 80 degrees out here.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Marls and I are having a terrific day in honor of Dave and KQ. I just played Wildflower on the juke and Marls beat me at Golden Tee by 30 strokes. Now we're on to Social Distortion. Fuck yeah.

    ReplyDelete
  19. And it's snowing in NYC now. Good lord willing, we'll get snowed in and have to stay and go watch Rhett Miller in Brooklyn tomorrow night.

    ReplyDelete
  20. i hope you guys aren't watching the golf tournament that's on right now. it's some of the worst gacking and choking you'd ever want to see by ostensibly elite players. rory mcelroy's a shitshow.

    ReplyDelete
  21. and after that, rory smokes a 3-wood to within 15 feet for eagle and has a putt to win the tournament.

    ReplyDelete
  22. marls has a doctorate in asscrackery. listen to the man.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Wildflower by Ghostface? Asscrack Oreos.

    ReplyDelete
  24. I am Oscar pre-gaming with the wife, which essentially means aggressively drinking wine. Bottle two uncorked before sunset = trouble when alarm goes off amid a snowstorm at 5 AM tmrw.

    ReplyDelete
  25. You should go see the screening of OurVinyl Weighs a Ton at the Music Hall in Williamsburg tonight. BK, not VA.

    ReplyDelete
  26. The conflict in the Ukraine is the #6 headline on CNN.com.

    Remember when they used to be a legit news site? Not sure why Jeff Zucker is surprised they are lagging.

    And Barry needs to nut up on Putin.

    ReplyDelete
  27. why do we have to solve all the world's problems? how 'bout europe nuts up?

    ReplyDelete
  28. Angela has nice sweater puppies.

    ReplyDelete
  29. wildflower by the cult!

    i am finally home and relaxing on my birthday-- survived nyc outing, medieval times outing, 10 year old sleep-over, coaching three games of soccer today, starting at 7AM, and then coaching a basketball play-off game. i'm rooting for a snow day, despite the fact that spring break is rapidly disappearing.

    ReplyDelete
  30. That's a heroic dadding effort.

    ReplyDelete
  31. No work tomorrow. That is a really early call by OPM. I'll take it.

    ReplyDelete
  32. So you're drunk tweeting The Oscars tonight then?

    ReplyDelete
  33. When the Rockets lose in the second round of the playoffs this year, are we gonna stop talking about how smart Darling Morey is? He may be revolutionary with his use of analytics, but he's not successful. The Lin and Asik signings have been mistakes and The Howard/Harden pairing doesn't look like enough

    If only I had a forum for griping about it in more detail...

    ReplyDelete
  34. i believe tr has coined a nickname. morey will heretofore be known as darling in these parts.

    ReplyDelete
  35. also, as i tweeted, there's no way we can act tough with putin if we close our federal government for some snow. we're such pussies.

    ReplyDelete
  36. Sally Field holding it together pretty well. Kim Novak...not so much.

    ReplyDelete
  37. in kim novak's defense, she's 81. in defense of her plastic surgeon, he was a 14 year-old.

    ReplyDelete